I'm not pregnant with Chuck Bass
by purplebass
Summary: Set from 1x13. Blair is pregnant with Chuck's baby, but he doesn't know anything about it. How will she deal with it?
1. 24 days of delay

I'm really new at translating my fan fictions here. This was originally written in italian, hope it does have sense in english and hope you'll have fun reading it.

It may refer to some events already happened in the first two seasons, like this first chapter.

Hope you give me feedback and tell me if I should continue or not! Enjoy. XoXo

Thank you to my beta Blair that corrected me this chapter. Love you 3

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

"Are you sure?"

Two of the easiest words to pronounce in the whole world.

They echoed in the inside of his limo that damned night of few weeks earlier.

She didn't answer, instead she approached him and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. She kissed him hardly and lost her virginity to him, didn't know why she did that.

Chuck Bass, the fellow womanizer of the Upper East Side, her boyfriend's best friend, the guy that she loathed the most for his not so reasonable behavior and his way to deal with women.

That was her damned misfortune, the thing that would have ruined her dreamy fairytale with her prince charming Nate Archibald. Her misfortune was to be so drunk that night at his club, so drunk she even got to think that he actually tricked her to have sex.

Now she was avoiding him. After the last time they had sex, hours before the débutante ball earlier that December, and after she found out he pushed Nate to punch Carter Baizen in the face to be kicked out of the party, she decided she won't never ever have sex with him again.

But the reason why she was angrier at him was another.

She was really in bad trouble he could hardly imagine.

Locked in her cold bathroom, one winter morning, she was afraid to count how many days her period was late. December 18… to December 26. Eight days, she muttered under her breath.

Eight days, she repeated. Her edginess grew every time she went to the bathroom to check if something has changed, as every symptom she had could be an alarm of her period coming, but they never were what she wanted them to be.

After the Christmas holidays were over and she had to return to school, all the things remained the same. She was even touchier every time she heard about blood.

She tried to think that it was just a normal late period like could happen to every woman she knew, and thought that her remedy could be getting back again with her boyfriend Nate, with whom she had broken up the very night she was possessed by Chuck Bass.

The less I see Chuck, the less I want him; she thought one morning before going to school.

There could even be a little bitch or a little bastard inside of my belly; I don't have to think about him. Even if I enjoyed sex with him. She let the thought invade her mind as she entered the school smiling at everyone she saw in the courtyard.

When she saw a couple kissing near the steps Chuck popped in her mind again.

Oh, please! Stop thinking about that loser! That is you past. You're not pregnant!

She thought she was paranoid. She thought about Chuck Bass more than when he gave her advice on how to let Serena down or when he offered his suite when she tried to have sex with Nate.

Her boyfriend tried to have sex with her but he failed. She wanted to do it after she found out the thing at Débutante's Ball, but was evidence that Nate was not that experienced like she thought. In addition**,** he fell asleep after awhile. Sex didn't suit him.

But at least if she had sex with Nate and she was really pregnant she could have faked that the son or daughter was his. But she knew this wasn't possible at this time.

If she was really preggers, she would have hated Chuck Bass more for ruining her life.

I hate Chuck Bass already. I order myself not to be pregnant! She thought again. Also, she thought that her period was late because of the SATs. Everyone was stressed.

Their teachers were pushing them to death to make them get good grades when taking those exams, and Blair Waldorf was for sure one of the most stressed of all. She felt the pressure everyday as she struggled to do her best to get the highest results and as a consequence, get into Yale like she had always dreamt since kindergarten.

Yes, for sure she's late because of the SATs training, she repeated in her mind as she found Nate in the little courtyard inside the school. "Nate!" she shouted.

She kissed him on the lips vehemently. She thought Nate was really the guy that was made for her, not like that Chuck Bass. She cursed herself again.

Stop. Thinking. About. Him. You love Nate, dammit. Always have, always will.

"Blair, you look gorgeous this morning" he greeted her.

"I know." She smiled at him while playing with the hair on his nape.

Maybe I'm pregnant, Nate. That's what she had to say to him. And the baby is not yours. Not at all. We never had an occasion to do it**,** and you think I'm a virgin... But she knew she couldn't say those words. She had to pretend and keep silent. She wasn't pregnant.

He would have left her and this was not what she planned.

She had to marry Nathaniel Archibald, baby or not. They had to have babies with blue eyes and curly brown hair. A mix of both of them.

She had her hands on his shoulders and she was looking at him with amused eyes.

"That's true" he chuckled "But I see something more in you today. Maybe new hair?"

He always failed at seeing news. "It's just your imagination, Nate!" She faked a smile.

"Maybe it is." He laughed again with enjoyment.

She kissed him again. While she met his lips she thought that Nate wasn't that smart after all. They always talk about the day, her hair, the movies they wanted to watch or food... But never about things they did at school or at least a small bright thought of another subject. Never.

Maybe that was because he was the prince charming? Princes do not have to be necessarily smart; they have to be daring... That wasn't comforting at all.

She stepped from him and she barely turned her head to the left.

He was staring at them from behind a wall. He looked sad. Really sad.

She could not bear holding gazes with him. She didn't want to think that Chuck Bass - the cold stone guy that only thought about pleasure, was really looking unhappy like he suffered every time he saw her with her beloved boyfriend. No, that wasn't the truth.

He was sad because she told him she would never ever sleep with him. He was only a terrible mistake of her past and nothing else, even if his way to kiss her was special and his way to touch her when they had sex was the way every woman desired to be touched.

With love and lust, despite that she thought Chuck Bass followed only the way of lust.

She decided to shut the voices inside her head by kissing her boyfriend.

She loved the way he kissed her. Their kisses were sweet and slow, like he didn't want to consume her. Nate was careful not to touch her much because he knew she didn't want to go fast. Of course Nathaniel Archibald didn't know better.

The bell rang just in time to stop her. She looked at her boyfriend with satisfaction and then as if it was a reflex she turned to the wall where Chuck Bass stood minutes before.

He wasn't there anymore, so she relaxed and sighed in relief.

"I'll see you later, sweetie" she greeted Nate before going into the building.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

She rushed from her class with the excuse of a severe pain in her stomach.

She smiled widely at the thought; her period was finally there, she was sure.

She went to the ladies room to check.

She put down her Victoria's Secrets panties and looked down. An angry look appeared on her face. The panties were clean, not a little hint that her period was coming.

She was about to cry because of the fury she felt that moment, but her make-up would have been ruined and she had to be perfect in the eyes of the other kids at school.

Nobody had to think that there was something bothering her.

Nothing happened to Blair Waldorf that she couldn't handle.

With the brightest look, she headed to the little courtyard.

She didn't want to get into the Spanish class again, she was bored and thoughtful so she had a seat on one of the benches and checked her phone. Gossip Girl didn't update for about thirty-five minutes. What a boring day, she thought. She crossed her legs and took her Math book from her new Marc Jacobs bag. She had a test that day, she could repeat something even if she already knew everything she had to.

"Sixty-nine... This is the result."

She raised her head slowly to face him. He was grinning while holding some books himself.

She scowled. He was the last person in this world she wanted to see now. His answer to the Math exercise was right, though.

She tilted her head to one side but kept her eyes on him. "You knew it because that's the only number in your empty head, Bass."

"Today you are sorer than ever." He commented raising an eyebrow. "I thought my presence pleased you... At least before Christmas" He said as he stepped forward near her like he wanted to whisper the words in her ear to have some kind of contact. "In your bed, in mine, on your mother's office couch..." he trailed off when he heard her sigh.

She glowered at him and stood up. That was enough talking with him for that day. Of course she was mad at him for what was happening, but she could not admit that the way he leaned forward to whisper that words to her made her quite shiver under her shirt.

"Nothing really happened, and you know that."

"Mmmh" he murmured "Then if I go to Nate and tell him our dirty little secret you wouldn't mind, don't you?" He raised both eyebrows this time. "You only have to ask."

Blair winced at the sudden thought of it. She didn't want to break up with Nate.

She put a hand on her hip and pursued her lips. She knew he wouldn't do it. "Spare me, Bass. You wouldn't do it. You don't want to lose your only friend."

He sighed and held his books firmly under his arm. "Maybe not today" He took a few steps and he got really near her so she stepped back in response. She knew that when he was this close she wasn't that able to stay still and make him think she wasn't affected by his presence.

"I know it won't be tomorrow either." She added with sarcasm.

He looked down for a bit and nodded. "Who knows? Of course not today. Maybe when you'll be less nervous." He giggled, looking at her with his famous smirk. "Maybe when you are not on your period so you can enjoy it."

She rolled her eyes and sighed with anger at the words. Of all people, he was the one that had no right to tell her about that damned period that didn't want to come.

"You are disgusting."

He stared at her with a closed mouthed smile and took a strand of her hair and twirled around his finger until she violently removed his hand. That was enough.

"Don't you dare touching me again." She said with a low voice. It was firm and tough.

This was the thought she was struggling with. She wanted to erase it for good.

He moved back and shrugged lightly giving her a fast glance before heading right for the exit.

She looked him while he went away and she sighed in relief, for the second time that day. She was grateful he was gone, at least she could have been safe for the rest of the day, or at least she hoped she will.

She had to sit and calm down. She felt her heart spinning under her tiny hand pressed on her chest and she blamed herself for that. Was Chuck Bass that sensitive?

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

The next day she woke up a littlewet. She covered her face with the silk sheets when her maid Dorota came to wake her. She woke up while she was in the middle of dreaming of Nate. They were having sex on a red bed when suddenly Chuck showed up and had sex with her too, while her boyfriend watched them, chuckling. She was disgusted at the thought, so she decided to listen to Dorota and have a shower.

She carefully went there, and with her heart hammering in her chest she checked if it decided to come or not. She felt the wet clearly, but when she looked down at her white panties**,** they were still white. No hint of red or other stains.

The smile on her face disappeared as she counted in her mind again.

She was twenty-five days late**.** But it was still early in the morning, she thought. There was a whole afternoon and evening left to expect it. She thought it was because of the dream she had.

Minutes later her friend Serena came to her house to leave for school.

Blair felt strange and fearful as she tried to find the best words to tell her dearest friend what was happening. It was a huge thing to hide for more days.

"Serena, I need to tell you something." She said when she saw her friend seated on khaki couch in the living room. She didn't even let her say 'Hi'.

Serena instantly stood up and reached for her. "What's wrong, B? Are you sick?" She put a hand on Blair's shoulder and led her to the elevator. They were in a hurry.

Blair looked down, quite ashamed of what she was going to tell her. "I'm... I'm twenty-five days late." She said in a sigh without looking her friend in the eyes while the elevator was going down. She was trembling. She bit her lip and slowly raised her head to see the severe look on Serena's face.

"You have to do some tests, Blair. Or at least... I think you have to try a pregnancy test."

She said it. The words that Blair didn't want to hear at all. She clenched her fists and pushed her lips. She wasn't pregnant**.** Serena was wrong. "I'm not preg-... Serena. I'm not. It's just a stupid hormonal dysfunction... That's all."

Serena looked disappointed. Blair knew she was thinking about something in her blonde head, like who could be the one she had sex with. She knew Blair was always sure about her period, she never complained about it because she was a virgin. But after Blair told her what happened with Chuck at Thanksgiving, she was afraid that sometime, maybe in the future, something like this could happen. She didn't trust Chuck.

"At least I hope you know who's the father she said with a tone that sounded judgmental to Blair. She was her best friend, but she didn't like when she judged her. She was perfect.

Blair curled her lips like she was disgusted by the thought. "There's no baby, Serena." She answered with a frustrated tone. Unfortunately, she knew who the father was and she didn't like the idea. Her friend was making the whole situation worse than it was.

She thought about the possible baby for another second when they got out of the building. Having a baby with Nate was a lovely and peaceful dream. Their children would have been pretty with wide blue eyes and brown curls. Thinking of having a baby with Chuck wasn't exactly the same. Their babies would have caramel eyes and squared faces. Maybe even that sad look that characterized him. Her stomach twisted and she wanted to throw up.

She thought she had been stupid to lose her virginity to him.

Serena looked at her with worry. She didn't ask anything about the father, she only said "Try a test. It will help you feel less nervous" then smiled at her and rubbed her shoulder.

"Everything will be fine." She added, but she wasn't sure.

Blair didn't say a thing, she wanted to keep her mind free of anxious thoughts as the duo kept walking towards the school. Serena tried to cheer up her friend by telling a cute story about her brother Eric. Their laundress was sick and sent a new girl to do the laundry for her.

This girl was a novice and really distraught. She washed Eric's underwear together with Serena's things and they became pink**.**

Blair instantly said they had to tell the woman she had to fire this girl to avoid other mistakes in the future, but at least Serena made her laugh for a bit.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

That day was pretty normal for Blair. No sightseeing of Chuck, so no bother**.** She felt calm for the first time since the school had begun, and she wouldn't admit it, but almost happy.

There was no trace of period but at least she didn't have to see Chuck at school so her rage toward him and herself was erased.

It was late afternoon when she was with her friends on the MET steps.

There were Katy, Isabel, Penelope, Hazel and that inexperienced Jenny Humprey. They were gossiping about what the girls wore that day at school. If they were chic or not.

Blair didn't care about them at all, she barely heard what they where saying (if you add "just to make them think she was actually listening" doesn't make any sense and I don't know what you are trying to say, I can't rephrase the sentence). Penelope was the most annoying of them.

Finally she saw Serena coming towards them. She said she had some errands to do, that was why she was late. In fact she had a tiny white envelope in her hands.

"I think we should go, Blair." She said trying to fake a smile. Blair knew what she meant. She quickly understood why she had told her that. She straightened and turned to her minions.

"I must leave**.** See you tomorrow at school? We have to go to Bendel's to have that famous shopping trip. Do you remember?"

"Sure, B. My dad just gave me his card!" That was Isabel that answered.

"Alright. See you tomorrow, then." Blair greeted them and the two girls walk away.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

During the walk to Blair's house she was too concerned about what was going to happen next. She didn't want to cause a scene in front of her minions on the steps, so she kept herself silent until they got out the elevator of her penthouse.

"I thought I said there wasn't anything wrong." Blair said with anger. She was that angry because of what her friend did. It was so thoughtful of her, but she was angry because she was afraid of finding out the real truth about the situation. She could not control it if it was...

She couldn't bear it if she was pregnant.

"This means you had your period?" She questioned.

Blair wanted to lie to her so that she would have gone away and she could have taken that damned test alone in her bathroom, but she could not lie at that moment, because tears were already filling her eyes. "Let's do this before I change my mind."

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

Serena bought twelve tests. Blair was really freaking out at the thought. One was really enough, even two. But twelve? Serena had really lost her mind.

Her bathroom looked colder than ever when she was waiting for the result of the first test.

Something rang and made her jolt. She thought it was the alarm clock that sentenced the verdict she was waiting for, but instead it was her blackberry, and the text she read was not so good. Gossip Girl said that there was probably a new mom in the Upper East Side.

Apparently, some girl caught Serena while she was buying the pregnancy tests in the drugstore. Gossip Girl commented that she didn't think that boys from Brooklyn were so precocious with babies, but at least with a rich mom the kid would have been fine.

Blair smiled after reading the post, but she felt sorry for her friend. Serena was only trying to help her after all. She would have apologized to her when all this would have been over -- because she knew it would have ended soon. There was no baby. Nothing was growing in her belly and had the Bass-tard gene. Nothing or nobody would have ruined her future in this way.

She gained respect in those months, after Serena went away to boarding school, it was hard but she did it and she could not lose it again. Plus, there was her most important dream. She had to go to Yale and marry Nate. And yet...

She held the test in her hand with fury. She wanted to cry while she was waiting for the response, but seemed like there were no tears in that moment. Maybe it was the anger.

When the alarm clock rang her hand was shaking. She looked at the white thing with a sense of desolation she never felt in her entire life. Tears finally came after.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

She did ten tests. Nine were blue and one was pink. Blue was not a color she was fond of, because that meant her worst nightmares were becoming real.

There were two tests left. She knew that even if they were both pink, blue won already.

She called Serena into the room without telling her the other results. The blonde understood even without knowing that they were not comfortable at all. She held Blair's hand during all the minutes that passed before the last responses. It seemed like an eternity for them.

When test number eleven was pink, Blair kind of relaxed. She felt calm again. Every grasp of safety was good for her. At least there wasn't only one negative test. Maybe the others were wrong. "Pink..." She whispered with a little sign of relief. Two could make a difference.

"Let's do the last" Serena murmured with a harsher stare. She was more realistic than Blair. This maybe helped her get another perspective of the reality. Blair was more of a person who tried to avoid the difficulty of life and always tried to see what was better and happy to her.

They waited with anxiety as the last test, the strictest of all, the one that "told" you how far along you are. Blair looked around in her bathroom as she was searching for something, but it was only a way to try to distract herself while waiting for the result.

When finally the alarm clock rang for the twelfth time in that afternoon, Blair's heart almost skipped a beat. She knew it would have declared her final sentence. She looked at the ceiling before taking the white stick in her hands. Serena was watching her every move, ready to comfort her best friend if the result was what they expected.

She didn't want to face the truth. She knew it would have been painful, horrifying. It was all that she tried to avoid. She believed there was a happy ending for everyone in the world, then why did her life turned its back on her?

There were few things that came up in her mind when she looked down. Her hands trembling again, her mouth already open in sighs. Also, her eyes were already filled with tears.

Her life was over. Everything she wanted to do in the future was far away now; almost unreachable like the blur she now saw when she tried to look around her. The tears didn't let her see clearly.

She let the test slip from her hands and hit the floor with a full rich sound.

Serena took it and read the response her self.

"Three weeks so far" she declared with a low voice, almost breathless.

She patted Blair's shoulder and let her head rub on her chest. She would have liked to say something --- 'everything will be fine, you will be fine' but she knew the words wouldn't work at that moment. The damage was done, and no one could fix it.


	2. Blue

Thank you for the feedback, I apprecciated it much! :)  
I hope you'll like this chapter too, even if the good is yet to come.  
Enjoy! :)

EDIT of May: I wanted to thank my beta that revised this chapter for me. :)

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

Three days passed from the day of the revelation.

Blair seemed to feel better hours after the last test, so Serena decided to return to her home. She said she could call if she needed help, but Blair never called her.

She knew the test was probably wrong, many test could not be exact. There was a slight possibility that she was not pregnant, but her period won't come so the possibility faded with every passing day.

"So, did you go to the doctor?" Serena asked before the bell rang.

Blair rolled her eyes as every time her best friend asked that question, and answered. "No, Serena. The tests were wrong. Nothing is happening."

She tried to lie to herself because she didn't want accept the idea. Her body was changing and her stomach wasn't flat like months before. She even felt the will to throw up, not from the bulimia, her past sickness, but from morning sickness. Thinking about it again and again sickened her more, so she just tried to distract herself with study.

"You have to go. You need to. At least to see if..."

Blair trailed her off. "Again. I'm _fine_. I don't need doctors to ruin my precious future." She said, her forehead wrinkled with rage and her tone harsh.

"Do you want to have an abortion?" Serena asked lowering her voice.

"Of course I do. If this thing does exist, I will stop its existence for good."

She sounded really cynical when she heard her own words popping out her mouth.

She didn't hate children, she liked them. At least the ones who kept their mouth shut and behaveShe only thought that this wasn't her time to be a mother, she was still seventeen after all, she needed to finish school and go to the University and get her degree. In the end, she would have married Nate and then they would have had children. Not now.

She would not give birth to Chuck Bass' baby.

Serena tapped her forehead and narrowed her eyes. "It's just too early to think about that. Go to the doctor, and then you'll decide. Do it for me." She pleaded.

Blair sighed and looked straight in front of her. She didn't know what to say, she really wanted this baby to die if he or she was in her belly, even if this meant homicide. It was a living being after all. A baby she could have loved and cared for, only if he/she would have come ten years in the future.

The bell saved her. She excused herself to be late for the English lesson and rushed away from the little courtyard. She didn't want to lie again to her best friend.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

"Shakespeare was born in Stratford-upon-Avon in..." It was that very sentence that made her feel really sick. It wasn't for what the teacher said, she loved English, but she felt the instinct to throw up with no reason all of a sudden.

She was sure every student and the teacher noticed her pale skin going whiter like she was going to die. The teacher said she could go out of the class if she needed to.

The look on her face was painful, that's why he agreed.

She rushed to the ladies room but it was closed. There was a woman who was cleaning inside, so she had to head to the opposite direction to the bathrooms in the left wing of the school.

She surely wouldn't have gone in the boy's room if she wasn't forced by the circumstances.

She reached it in a couple of minutes, opened the door quickly and got inside before the two guys that were walking in the hallway could see her.

As if it was an ordinary thing to her, she got down on her knees near the toilet and her ritual began.

She was disgusted by this act like always, but she couldn't admit that this satisfied her.

Although this time she didn't feel like this was caused by her disorder. No doctor could help her now. She even felt she had to stop telling herself lies because this was another proof of...

She cleaned her lips with a Kleenex and looked at the tiny mirror in front of her to check if she was alright, even if she knew she wasn't. She had to try her best to pretend that everything was ok. The people in her school already envied her for her perfect figure, she couldn't ruin her image like that, it was everything to her.

She decided she looked acceptable, or at least that was what she tried to say to herself. She smiled at the reflection in the mirror trying to find the words to say to whom would have asked what was wrong with her earlier.

She jerked when she found someone near the door frame. He leaned against the wall near the door, and he was watching her with a neutral look even if she saw something more than that in him, and it scared her.

"You look sick." He said, his flawless features beginning to relax. "I think you should go home."

She thought he was actually concerned for her. It wasn't the first time, but it was weird hearing it from Chuck Bass, the guy who never gave a damn about what another person felt. She thought he only cared about himself and sometimes his best friend Nate.

"I'm fine as always." She said with a fake smile. He had to believe there was nothing wrong with her. She didn't want Chuck to care about her and her sickness. She really wanted him to disappear in that very moment so that she would have the time to put on some powder and made her cheeks look pinker. Too bad she forgot her bag in the class.

"No, you are not. I can see it in your eyes." This time she really felt he was concerned. His forehead was wrinkled and his jaw clenched again. His hand reached for her chin and she let him touch her for just a second before removing his hand. "And I saw girls talking about how you looked pale. They thought you were going to vomit on them." He added.

She thought he would have laughed after that funny affirmation, but he didn't. He was still serious and really meant what he told her. He wanted to know if she was okay.

"I didn't throw up, if is this you want to know" she clarified with a lie, her fist clenched.

Chuck sighed and rolled his eyes quickly. "Things like this need doctors." He completely avoided her statement.

She curled her lips and clenched her fist more. Not that she wanted to punch him in the face, but she was nervous to hear such things from such person. "It's called indigestion."

"Because of a simple yogurt?"

"Stop telling me what I have to do, you stalker."

He shook his head and shrugged, looking down for a second. She hoped she hurt him with her words, but she knew he wasn't so touchy. The fact that she had called him stalker would have only made him look for her more.

"You better clean your skirt first" he murmured as he walked away from her.

She looked down to see a little white stain on her uniform skirt. Nobody was in the hallway so she decided to hurry and clean it before the bell rang.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

Hours later she was back home. She got trough all classes faking smiles at her minions while Serena kept telling her to go home and get some rest. She was exhausted of course, she really wanted to go home earlier but that meant Chuck Bass would have won, and she didn't want that, so she kind of suffered the whole time. When it was finally time to go home, she sighed in relief. She got out quickly, her car waited for her outside to take her home, but something in the courtyard was different.

Almost everyone seemed to look at her, and she thought for a second that was because maybe there were some stains left from the last session in the ladies room, but her skirt was clean and her bag and coat too. So she picked up her phone from her Marc Jacobs bag and read the text she didn't hear coming. It talked about her, of course. That's why everybody eyed her while she was leaving the building. Gossip Girl had no pics of her throwing up in the bathroom but she had some witnesses.

_I was in the bathroom at the sixth period when I heard her. I tried not to let her see I was spying from stall toilet and I saw how devastated she was. She was really sick, her face was white! She used powder to cover it._ And that was one. There were other two, but she didn't want to read them so she closed her phone and put it back in the bag and got in the car.

She was home ten minutes later, and Dorota was there waiting for her. "What's wrong, Dorota? Something happened?" She asked.

"Miss Eleanor angry. She want talk with you, Miss Blair." She said with anxiety.

Blair felt the blood went directly to her head while her maid spoke. Her heart began humming in her chest as a hint of the fear she was now feeling. "Where is she?"

"I'm right here." Blair raised her head and her mother appeared on the stairs. She came down quickly and dismissed their maid. Dorota went to the kitchen and leaved them alone.

She noticed a little white bag in her hand and that's when her fear grew.

"Dorota was cleaning up your bathroom this morning and she found this." She raised the little bag. "Have something to say about this?"

Blair tried to stay calm. She could do it. She could fake this time like today with Chuck. She surely could. "They are Serena's..."

Eleanor sighed and a little smile – not a happy one – appeared on her face.

"I called Lily late today when I found this and she said Serena is fine. She had her period this month... Unlike you." her tone was really dour.

Blair couldn't bear this accusation even if it was the truth.

"Came on, you really have nothing to say, Blair? This is evidence." She raised the bag again.

"They are not mine." She lied again, trying to deceive her own mother.

"Blair Cornelia Waldorf" she said with anger "are you pregnant?"

Her stomach turned inside out like the tenth time that day and she instinctively put her hand on her belly. She sighed. _Lie. Remember to lie._ "I'm not."

When her minions told her something and she knew it wasn't the truth she tortured them with questions until they told her the truth. She didn't let anyone lie to her. Lies were the worst thing in the world for her. She could lie, the others not.

Eleanor was like her daughter. She was bossy at work and demanded the best from her staff. She didn't like people who lied or said things behind her back. She didn't like it when her daughter lied either, above all.

"Then why was this" she lifted the white bag "in your bathroom? I don't think it's Dorota's. She doesn't even have a boyfriend. So tell me the truth and stop lying!"

Blair swallowed lightly and her mouth almost fell open in grasp for air. At that moment she felt like someone was strangling her and she was suffocating. She felt the stomach turned upside down and she could not help but put a hand on her mouth and rush into the bathroom.

After ten minutes she got back into the hall. She hoped her mother was gone to attend her daily routines, but she was still there, seated on the couch. She stood up eyeing her daughter and said what Blair feared most. "We're going to the doctor. _Now_."

Blair slightly closed her eyes, and without adding a word took her coat and went with her mom while the pain was growing.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

The Doctor agreed to see Blair even if she didn't have an appointment. Her mother told her the doctor agreed because she knew him well, his wife loved Eleanor's designs.

Blair didn't give a damn about that; she just nodded when Eleanor told her something.

It was strange for her that Eleanor was so calm. She looked like she wasn't scared at all of the result of the tests and the consult, or maybe she was only trying to hide the anxiety.

Blair thought that maybe her mother expected that one day she would have to deal with that, even if she considered herself the perfect daughter.

"You can come in, Mrs Waldorf" said the petite blonde nurse.

"I hope you will tell the truth to the Doc." Eleanor said. Blair didn't answer. Instead she stepped forward and got into the Doctor's office. Now or never.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

She didn't speak to her mother until she forced her to go and take the result of the tests the next day. It was a Saturday, the laboratories were supposed to be closed but when you have money you can keep them open for you whenever you want.

She hadn't eaten anything, hoping that the sickness would disappear but it didn't. She threw up two times before her mother asked Dorota to call her because the car was waiting near the building. They had to go to take the damned results.

It wasn't that long until they took them and got back home again. Her mother held them firmly in her hands and didn't give them to Blair neither for a second. She knew she didn't trust her, but this much? The thought of it made her more sick and angry, until her mother dismissed all the people who were in their house and gave the results to her. "I want you to read it yourself."

Blair nodded in agreement and took the long, white envelope from her mother's hands.

Her hands were shaking and she felt some tears would fall from her eyes sooner or later, tears of joy or grief. It was inevitable; she couldn't run away from it.

She opened the envelope carefully and took a deep breath before reading what was written inside. The thick sheet of paper burnt under her hands like it was really made of fire and it made her almost jolt. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest and she couldn't stop it.

When she reversed the sheet to read it, her heart almost skipped a beat. She stiffened and tried not to break down in front of her mother.

"What... What it says?" Her mother asked with a choppy tone. She was scared too.

"I'm... It's positive." Blair said with a low sigh before she broke down and little tears began to damp the sheet of paper. Her mother took it from her hands and like she never did before hugged her only daughter until she calmed down.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

That night Blair didn't feel to go out with Nate. He had called her several times the afternoon but she never answered. She texted him only to let him know she was tired and needed some rest, and he replied that he was fine with that, they could go out another day.

The truth was another, of course, but she wouldn't have said anything to him.

She changed her mind soon. She decided to go out alone and went to Bendel's and Saks to buy some clothes. Shopping really helped her when she was down, and now it was the moment to spend money because she was buried like six feet underground New York.

She couldn't believe she was really pregnant with Chuck. She could not bear the fact that she had not yet graduated and should deal with a baby at seventeen years old.

She hated the fetus so much she could not explain it in words. One reason was that it was Chuck's, and Chuck was a nasty screwed piece of work. He wasn't born to be a father and she realized he would never ever be her kid's dad, not even in the future. She would have had to raise that child all alone and without the support she needed. That thought cut right deep in her veins and hurt her like a knife.

She could almost sense the blood flooding her blouse when she thought about it, but she kept repeating to herself that she was in the street with some other people and she had to pretend all was good. She could not bear to bawl out there.

Her phone rang again that night. She stopped to take it from her bag and when she saw the name on the display she really wanted to shut it for good. It was Nate.

"Nate, hi" she said coldly. She didn't really want to talk with him or anybody.

"You finally answered."

She surely didn't want to tell him what the real truth was. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I had stuff to do and I was really tired. Forgive me?"

He chuckled lightly from the other side of the phone. "Sure. Besides, I read your text." There was a little pause, she didn't know what to say to him. She wasn't in the mood to talk.

A klaxon honked in the background and Blair couldn't cover his sound for Nate. "Are you in the street? Do you wanna come to my house?" he asked as a consequence of it as she feared.

She wanted to answer 'no, thank you I'm tired' but that would have been worse for her. She sighed and started walking again to reach his house. "I'm on my way."

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

She reached Nate's house in about five minutes and the housemaid opened the door for her saying that Nate was upstairs and he would come as soon as possible.

She looked around and smiled at the finest furniture of the house. Everything was made of dark wood, in a classic style she liked for the house of her dreams. The house she dreamt to live in with Nate, in the future, with baby boys and girls running happily in their garden.

She was forgetting about the fact that she was pregnant already. That thought made her shiver while she waited for Nate to come greet her. While she was watching an old painting on the wall she heard Nate's voice and she turned.

She jolted when she saw him, she would have said no to Nate's invitation if she knew her worst nightmare was there with her boyfriend.

Chuck Bass looked so normal and even nice to her when he was speaking with Nate. She remembered him being so likeable only the few times they had sex. When he was in public he loved to provoke her with his witty lines, and she always counted that as teasing, which she found annoying.

"Look, I don't think is safe to do it this way... You should try..." he said with confidence, then he noticed her. He smirked at her like he always did, and that annoyed her.

"Evening, Waldorf" he said with a sensual tone.

She ignored him and she threw herself on her boyfriend with a fake smile. "Blair, I'm glad you came. I really hoped to see you tonight."

"It was a last minute decision, you know. I was tired."

"Yes, I heard. Are you okay now?"

Blair smiled widely so that Chuck could see her. "Never been better." _Lie. Lie. Lie._ That's what she thought at that moment. She could do it.

"I'm happy. I have to go to do a thing in the kitchen. Wait for me with Chuck, okay?"

Blair nodded swiftly at him and he disappeared quickly to the left door, leaving her with Chuck. Why she was even there to begin with? She shouldn't have come.

She decided to ignore him because his presence there only pissed her off more, but he "didn't agree" as always. He leaned forward to cut the distances between them.

She crossed her arms on her chest while he watched her with a crooked smile. She thought he was going to say something rude or worse, seeing the smile on his face.

Instead, he relaxed his features and the perfect smile became a severe look, almost sad.

"Your face is still pale and your make up a bit ruined." He observed.

Blair didn't want to turn and look at her reflection in the mirror behind her, but she could not help it. Maybe Chuck was wrong, maybe he only wanted to tease her, but this time he said the truth. Her mascara was ruined under her right eye. She had cried before arriving there and she had cursed herself for forgetting her pocket mirror at home. She instantly tried to adjust it with her index finger and she succeeded, then she turned again. His expression was still harsh.

She tried to ignore him again, but he was unstoppable. "It won't last if you don't look at details... Nate is naïve to believe your little white lies, which I'm not."

She narrowed her eyes and curled her lips. "It's not a lie, you envy that I actually have a loving boyfriend! Don't try to trick me. It doesn't work _anymore_."

Chuck seemed pleased by the answer. In his mind this back-talks were a demonstration of her actual interest in him, but she would never admit it. She scowled at him and turned her head to face Nate that was coming back from the kitchen. She sighed under her breath and waited until the boy reached her.

"Okay, I'm done." He looked at her with at smile and then at Chuck. His face was concerned again. "There's something do you want to do tonight?"

Blair pretended to think about it. She didn't want to do anything, and that was the truth. She didn't even want to be there, to be honest. "Why don't we stay here?" She suggested.

She didn't want him to take her to a restaurant where the 'acting' process would have been more difficult than ever. She knew that if she would have eaten something she would have gone directly to the bathroom and throw it all up in no time, and Nate would have called her a liar for not telling him she was still sick the day before.

Another grin appeared on Nate's beautiful face. He stroked her cheek gently and she almost closed her eyes to make him believe she was enjoying the tender gesture. "What do you want, Blair. We could watch one of your favorite movies if you like."

"It sounds perfect to me" she said grinning in response as she pretended it to be perfect.

She turned towards Chuck. He was not so distant from them, but that little PDA at that moment made him feel like he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, just what she wanted. He had to feel like the kind of love she felt for Nate she'd never felt for him.

He had lost her that night at the ball, and the fact that in her belly there was a son or a daughter he helped create, didn't change the hate she felt for him. He had to suffer, she would never sleep with him again. But the sad look she saw in his eyes was painful, even for her. He was already suffering.

Nate shifted to Chuck and Blair, and she noticed he changed his expression quickly. The harsh stare he had, become a slight grin of his. "So, I think I'm gonna go" he declared to the couple. "It's late." He turned and headed to the door, his steps were really slow like he was waiting for someone to stop him and ask him to stay, but it didn't happen. He would have enjoyed it, though. He disappeared through the door and the couple remained alone.

Nate took her hand and led her to the living room where the big HD TV was located.

"I see him too sad lately." He murmured after a long silence while she was choosing the DVD to watch from the collection. She turned her head to face him.

"Who?" She asked, but she already knew the answer.

Nate shook his head and shrugged. "Chuck. He looks like he's unhappy."

She took the 'Breakfast at Tiffanie's' DVD from the big shelf and went to put it into the DVD player. One good minute passed before she answered her boyfriend. "Sweetie, don't be so worried for him. I think some random chick didn't let him go under her skirt and that's why he's complaining. It's not worth caring about such things, to care about Chuck, most of all." The last sentence was referring to her.

"Yeah, maybe you are right. It's just... Is like the look when you lose someone or feel sorry for someone. Is strange to see that kind of look in him..."

Blair sighed at the smartest thought Nate had in days. She knew he was straight right, she had seen that look herself. But she didn't want to admit it out loud to the world. It was clearly harder to even admit she was pregnant with his baby.

"Let's forget about him. We have a movie to watch now." She caressed his cheek and he could just smile and nod while she pressed 'play' on the remote control and tried to forget again for the one-hundredth time that day about the nightmare.


	3. The truth hurts, and lies worse

_I just wanted to thank everyone who added the story to the favourites and reviewed it._

It means so much for me because I only write to improve my english.

By the way I hope you'll like this chapter too.

Like I said previously the best is yet to come. :)

See you in the next chapter, enjoy! Xo

EDIT OF MAY: Story all revised thanks to my beta Blair. I'm thankful she's helping me so I can continue this.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

The following day her mother Eleanor tried to calm herself with some herbal tea prepared by Dorota. She hadn't already accepted the fact that her only daughter was pregnant.

She tried to speak to Blair twice but she couldn't find the right words to say.

Blair herself was a mess. She threw up again and again and more that Sunday. She rather wanted to be dead than be sick. That sickness was unbearable, but like Serena told her on the phone after Blair had just come from Nate's house, _It's not that long._ _It will pass. I heard someone say it lasts for two-three months only._ Yes, two or three months. It sounded like a life time for Blair.

That morning Gossip Girl mentioned her again. The post said someone spotted her with her mother in West Village while they were entering the Doctor's building the day before. There was a not so very good pic of her where she seemed pouting, and her mother going behind her.

Gossip Girl commented that maybe the two women were going there for a check up. Maybe mama Waldorf wanted to make sure her daughter was still a virgin after the sickness she had at school. Or maybe... That was painful. Gossip Girl thought she could be pregnant for real.

Eating disorder was in the list of possibilities too.

She rolled her eyes and shut her phone. It was Sunday and she didn't want to be bothered with that silly girl and her news, although that time she was telling the truth. She was pissed off and enraged again. Her life was already ruined, it didn't serve that Gossip Girl ruined her more. Still, this could be avoided.

"You will keep it" her mother said interrupting her bad reverie when she got into her room.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"You heard me well, Blair. You will keep it." She sounded categorical.

Blair understood, then. She stood up, narrowed her eyes and pursued her lips. She was thinking about that a few minutes earlier. She wouldn't keep the baby. Even if that meant homicide, it had to be killed. She didn't want it. "It will ruin my life!" She blurted out.

Eleanor put a hand on her forehead, ready to reply with a strong tone. "It's like killing a person, Blair! Don't you understand? You will keep it."

"No, I won't. We can afford this, we can afford the cost of an abortion. We can do that! I won't let this thing remain in my belly for more then a minute. I don't want it!"

"And you will keep it. You made a mistake, you _will_ pay." Eleanor said firmly.

Then Blair cried again. The only thing that could save her life - at school and with Nate - was not allowed. She knew her mother was right, she thought she deserved it after all. This was the punishment God decided to give her because she slept with her boyfriend's best friend. She felt worse than ever, even stupid.

Eleanor stepped forward and hugged her daughter again like the day before. It was unnatural, that was true, but she couldn't help it. She caressed her hair like she was still five years old and whispered "We'll find a way, my child. Me and your father will help you."

At the word 'father' she sobbed more. Her father was the most important person of her life. She preferred him to her mother. Disappoint her father would have meant shame for her. She didn't want to, but it looked like she already did.

She moved away from her mother while Dorota gave her some Kleenex to clean the mess on her face. "Miss Blair, Miss Serena here want to see you" she added, as her mother quickly patted her shoulder and the blonde stepped into the room.

Serena glanced at Eleanor and said something before she left. "Take care of her, Serena."

Serena smiled swiftly and nodded while Eleanor closed the door behind her. She felt sorry but she didn't know how to handle all this. Blair even suspected she had cried the day before.

The blonde patted her shoulder and Blair threw herself on her. She needed comfort, a lot of it. This was the very first time she broke down after the revelation. She nearly cried even when she was watching the movie with Nate the day before, but he would have asked why and she didn't want to give him answers.

"What will I do, S? What? My life is disgusting!" She sobbed.

Serena stroked her hair and then her back slowly. "I will stand by you, I promise... I won't let you live this thing alone, B."

"What can I do? Tell me! Now I'm almost one month pregnant, but then? My stomach will grow and everybody would see it!" She said pushing away from her and pointing at her flat stomach. "My reputation will be destroyed" she continued "my friends will hate me and label me whore. I'm condemned, S! Everyone will mock me until school ends!"

"Those are not friends, B. I will be at your side until this will be over."

Someone knocked on her door and Serena turned her head. "It's open."

Blair's mother stepped in with a sad expression on her face. "Maybe it's not over" she murmured. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I called your father, and..."

"You called him?" Blair asked, the shame already deep in her even if he was far away.

Eleanor nodded. "Yes, I've called him. And he came up with a beautiful idea, I must say."

Blair seemed to find the light in the tunnel again. A little grin appeared on her features. She knew her father had always great ideas. Even when she was a child, he always found a way to entertain her with the strangest things. Her father was a genius.

"What's that?" she asked with anxiety.

"He thinks that if you go to France for a couple of months nobody will notice... Anything."

"You mean going during all the period and then come back here?"

Eleanor nodded and she smiled. The idea was pretty good. "Yes. You can leave when all is prepared and your father will wait for you at the house with Roman."

"And... With school? I can't lose a year at school, mom."

"Harold said he'll find someone who will help you keep up with your lessons. And Serena can tell you what she learned at Constance so when you'll come back you won't have loads of thing to learn." She smiled. "And you will be care-free because nobody will know who you are. Then you would come back here and attend the last year at Constance. I will talk with headmistress Keller and explain... What I can."

"Oh my God, that's amazing!" Serena almost squealed and took Blair's hands in hers.

Blair thought about it for a second. It was the perfect plan, except one thing. She didn't want the baby. She loved the fact that she would go to France, but the reason for going there was wrong one. What would happen to her relationship to Nate? Their relationship was already made of lies, the distance would have only made it worse.

"I think... It's perfect." She decided, and this time she could feel this was the right thing to do. Almost.

"And everything will be over at Thanksgiving, so you can come to my house to have the usual lunch" Serena added with joy.

Seemed like the whole room lightened up. Now everyone was happy, or almost happy.

Maybe people will ask why she left and reach the wrong or the right conclusions, but at least her reputation was safe.

She could still try to get into Yale and hate Chuck Bass when she would come back, and then deal with Nate. Yeah, Nate. She decided there was only one thing she had to do about him.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

He was struggling with the will of running after her and ask her directly what was wrong. He saw it in her eyes, he saw that something was bothering her so much that she didn't notice that a strand of her hair was unusually messed like she put that headband without caring much of it, just like it was a non-sense object or something. He felt she was in trouble because she acted different from how she behaved before the holidays. She used to smile more and tease him like she did the people she didn't like, but now that light was suddenly gone. He knew her, he knew maybe this was all a mask she wore everyday just to go on and fake, like him.

He knew she wouldn't tell him the truth about the fact that she threw up every two hours at school. He couldn't do anything if she hated him so much for no reason.

He was the one who took her virtue, after all. He didn't do anything wrong because she let him do it. Plus, he even asked her if she was sure, a thing he didn't care about with random girls. He really cared about how she felt.

His only hope was she and Nate will break up. Yes, he knew it sounded lame but he wanted this too much like he wanted to have her for another night without thinking about the fact that she had a boyfriend and her boyfriend happened to be his best friend.

Chuck Bass thought about the scene he saw days before when her rush to the ladies room again. He was accidentally in the same hallway and heard her voice when she threw up the food with anger, like it was the most horrible thing in the world and she needed to get rid of it.

He didn't let her see him this time, he kept himself silent, away from her as he saw her going to the courtyard with a happy expression. This looked weird to him because five minutes before she was sad.

He decided to follow her to see what brought that sudden happiness in her life, and he found her with Nate. He could hear their voices from the place where he was hidden.

They seemed to be having a row about something. He enjoyed every time they quarrel.

"Why, Blair? Just tell me why! I thought everything was going fine, we had fun the other day, have you already forget? What's wrong?" Nate said with an angry tone.

"I told you. The SATs are near, the school will end soon and I have no time to be with you."

"That's not enough reason for me" he answered coldly.

"Nate, please" she looked tired then "That's the truth. I'm not lying to you, sweetie. I need... Some time to study and make up my mind, that's all."

Nate swallowed and looked up, then shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry for being rude... I know you want to get into Yale and you wanna get the highest grade on the test... Is just... Feels strange to break up." He replied with disarm.

"Is not the first time, you'll understand."

Nate nodded again like a child. He didn't look like he was suffering because of the separation. He was more like trying to figure out what was the matter. "I want to know one thing." He said with anxiety.

Blair shrugged but kept the smile on her face. "Ask."

"Besides all the SATs stuff and other things... You wanted to break up because we..." he trailed off and his tone lowered a bit.

She knew what he meant. She lowered her head and shook it slowly. "That's not the point. We... Maybe are not meant to be together now. Maybe after all this will be over..."

Chuck thought she was lying. He didn't know exactly what they were talking about, but he guessed it was about sex. Nate confessed weeks before that he couldn't make it to Blair's secret place at the ball, and he felt bad because he knew she was eager to do it with him even if she didn't show it. Nate didn't know anything, not at all.

He wasn't like him. He knew that she was trying to deceive him. The true reason wasn't that.

Nate then sighed and greeted her before going inside. She was now almost alone in the courtyard and he could run to her and provoke her, tell her he was pleased by the scene he just saw from behind the door frame, but she would have gotten mad at him and he would have screwed up again and lose another chance to show her he wasn't that bad.

He so decided to get inside and do some calls before going back to his class. The minute he stepped in, he turned and saw her paces away, and a smiled appeared on his face.

He was kind of happy. Not only because his desire had been satisfied. The vision of her tiny ass excited him. He began to chuckle silently so that she didn't hear him. Then she disappeared in the class.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

Just one hour after Chuck saw Blair for the last time the rumor of the BN break up was everyone's mouths. Of course Gossip Girl had sent the blast of the _sad_ news.

She wrote that she didn't know what the real reasons were, but the historical Waldorf-Archibald drama was over for good. She said that some witness saw Nate after the thing happened, he confessed it to a male friend. This guy thought that maybe there was another guy in Blair's life, or maybe she had simply enough of him after all these years.

Chuck was also trying to understand why she broke up with him, and the only conclusion he reached was that maybe all the health problems she had were connected to this. She wanted to be alone with her troubles, maybe that was the sad truth.

He was in the courtyard before the next lesson would have begun when he heard someone talk about Blair. "I heard she wants to move abroad" a little girl said. "My sister told me that she said this to Serena few minutes ago in the bathroom..."

"Did she say that? Really? There's something going on in my opinion..."

"Something like what?"

The girl looked around and whispered something and Chuck couldn't hear their theories, even if he maybe already knew what they were.

Chuck sighed and then got inside again, where other girls were talking about Blair. He tried to ignore them and went ahead. He still had two hours of classes to attend.

He reached the left-wing of the school and there he saw her again.

"Thank you, Mrs Keller." She said with a smile.

"Mrs Waldorf, I'm glad your father recommended you to go there. Hope you'll come back in September to finish the school here at Constance."

"Yes, of course I'll be back. Is just a French degree course, it's for a couple of months. I'll take my SATs exams there. I'll send you the results after."

The headmistress shook hands with her and she got back into her office, while Blair walked away.

Chuck thought about it for a second. She said _France_. _French degree study for a couple of months_. She was happy because maybe she was leaving for the place of her dreams, where her father lived. He then decided it all in a hurry. He had to go now or never before his attempts would never have been possible. He had to stop her.

He ran in the opposite direction to reach the exit before she could, but he failed.

When he reached the exit he saw her going to a black car. Dorota was near her with a big bag in her hands. It really looked like those luggage you can carry with you in the plane... He took his phone and called his limo.

His car arrived one minute after the black car Blair took off with. He only saw the car turn left and then right the traffic lights near the school. The information wasn't very helpful to his driver but it was at least a path to follow.

He was lucky there was a traffic jam.

He lowered his window and looked outside to search for the black car. He didn't know how he found it, but it wasn't so far from his limo and it was there in the traffic jam.

He thought that going out and reach the car was lame and stupid for a guy like him, so he remained there waiting for the traffic lights to change.

He wasn't that interested after all, he just wanted her to stay here and don't leave, or maybe that's what he thought in the limo that time.

The anxiety of the sudden run when the traffic lights became green made him jolt.

He ordered his driver to hurry up and follow that damn black car if he didn't want to be fired. It sounded more like an action movie, a run against the destiny.

Chuck was lucky his driver was skilled. He followed the car and quickly went behind it with no difficulty.

They reached JFK Airport as Chuck thought.

He waited until Blair and Dorota got out of the car and got into the building, and then he got out of his black limo too. He didn't want to hurry now. He wanted to watch her moves carefully and then act, when he knew it was time.

Blair did the Check-in for the New York – Paris flight of the six o' clock.

Chuck walked slowly behind Blair and Dorota and heard them talking. Dorota was pretty sad that her 'Miss Blair' was leaving, but she couldn't do anything to stop her.

When they arrived near the metal detector Dorota had to go. Chuck hid until the maid walked away. She kept turning back every once in a while until she reached the exit and was out of sight. He knew she wasn't happy.

Blair snorted and walked to the metal detectors. Chuck walked to her then, took her arm making her jolt in fear. She was afraid it was some random airport maniac.

Her mouth feel open when she faced him. His features were relaxed. He was totally calm in that moment only because he got to stop her or at least talk to her. He loosened his grip and swallowed lightly. The words almost run out his mouth, he couldn't help it.

"Chuck" she murmured "What are you doing here? I have no time for your rubbish."

"Where are you going?" he asked her directly. He noticed that at least her face wasn't pale anymore even if she kept throwing up.

She cleared her voice. "I could ask you the same thing, what are you even doing here?"

"I asked you first." He clarified.

She rolled her eyes with annoyance and sighed. "I'm leaving."

"Why?"

"Why do you want to know? I told you I don't wanna be bothered anymore, Bass."

He didn't know why, but he wanted to know. His curiosity, as well as his will to make her stay, was enough of a reason. "You are sick, aren't you? That's why you're leaving."

She suddenly became sad when he asked her the question. She would have never told him what the real reason was, so she opted for a lie again. She could do it. "I have a French degree course to attend, Chuck. I've waited for this two years and now I got in."

He looked down, almost defenseless. He thought she was telling the truth, though.

"Will you come back?"

Blair chuckled at the question. Why did he care so much? "I don't know why you want to know but, yes... I'll be back in September. Now, if you want to..."

She trailed off. Chuck topped her mouth with his in a sudden movement he didn't either. It was unexpected. He wanted to do this for a month or maybe more. He felt he wanted her so much, even if he couldn't admit to himself out loud.

She pushed him away after some good seconds. _She was angry_, he thought.

She shook her head slowly like she was startled. She surely didn't expect this. She surely didn't expect this from the person that made everyday such a big match for her. From the person that was the reason why she had to pretend to go to a French school to attend some nonexistent courses.

"I think I have to go." She stated with a severe tone. She was still upset. "I'll see you... I'll see you in September, Chuck." She said without even a grin on her pretty face.

She just walked away to the metal detector to do the usual procedure before going to the other wing of the airport where visitors were not allowed.

Chuck remained there and watched her until she disappeared into the crowd.

She never looked back to see him. He felt really awkward in that moment. He didn't answer her. He didn't tell her he didn't want her to leave. He couldn't do anything. He was weak, that's all. He couldn't make it because he couldn't admit he cared about her. A lot.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

He didn't know why he waited until her flight left.

Maybe he felt like he could do some last-minute action like call her and tell her what he didn't dare to tell before or maybe she would have come back.

He sighed when he watched her flight up in the sky. He felt it was over…...or maybe not.

He knew there was a slight possibility that in the future... He shook his head trying not to think about _that thing_.

She would come back, this was the important thing. Maybe she was only a whim for him, maybe with the months that will pass his attraction would vanished.

It was all _maybes_, except one thing. He knew he wouldn't forget her so easily. He already missed her he couldn't help it and he couldn't figure out why.

He left the JFK when it was late in the evening. The only thing that could comfort him at that moment was his best friend. And no, it wasn't Nate. It was the friend that he went to in times of need.

So he headed to Victrola and had a drink; more than one, hoping things would turn ok.

She would have been fine and him as well. He shouldn't worry this much.


	4. Goodbye New York, Hello Paris

Hello! Chapter 4 is finally up :)

I'm sorry I made you wait but it's exam period at University now and I have to study a lot of things... And I was writing a post S3 finale fic too, maybe I'll post it before or then.

I'm really hoping you will like this chapter.

And sidenote, I wanted to thank my beta _Je T'adore_. :)

See you in the next chapter!

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

She had left New York City two hours before and already missed it.

She had decided to take only Dorota with her that day. She had greeted her mother and her friend Serena at her house before leaving. She knew that if they would have come it would have been harder to say goodbye without shedding any tear.

She thought about what they were possibly doing and what she was going to do when she would have got there in the land of her dreams.

She was eager to see Paris again. She loved that city and hoped that one day she would have married some rich man that would have bought her a big house with a big garden that she would have filled it with red roses and plants. There should have been even a big swimming pool where she and her girlfriends would have sunbathed in the summer while her husband would have had a drink with his friends while talking about business or something.

In the meantime her little children would have played with their friends in the swimming pool with balloons, and she would have got angry because they would have stayed in the water too long.

She sighed when she thought about it. It reminded her that one of this future children was already there, maybe this would have been the only one she would ever had in her entire life.

She felt she was going to be a single-parent. Nobody would love a young girl with a child, or at least that's what she always saw in TV shows.

She hoped her would come true like she wanted them, after this little spawn would have been born.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

Luckily for her the flight didn't take long to arrive to Paris.

She needed a real bathroom to wash her face and fix her hair. Plus, she needed to rest.

She threw up twice during the flight and she hoped people didn't notice. At least she was in first class; people usually don't ask you questions like _'are you okay'_ when they see you leave the bathroom with a pale face.

She was really thankful to have her precious powder and blush to make her cheeks look pinker than they were. She put it before she got into the airport and before she landed so her father would have seen only joy in her eyes, not the pain she felt.

She asked a garçon to take her luggage and she walked to the exit looking for her father and his boyfriend Roman. It didn't take long to arrive to the place where the people who were waiting for the passengers where. She saw his lovely father from far away.

She smiled when she saw him, and so did he and Roman. She hurried her pace to hug him.

She was really happy to see him and Roman. She hasn't seen them since last Christmas when they both decided to come to New York and spend some days with his daughter and ex-wife.

"Daddy! I'm so happy to see you!" she hugged him and he hugged her back tightly. "You too, Roman!" she exclaimed then hugged her father's boyfriend too.

"Me too, Blair Bear" he said then moved back and looked at her from head to toe.

She smiled widely because she was pleased. She knew he was going to comment on her appearance. She enjoyed every time her father did this because she actually felt loved and even prettier than she knew she was. Her father never lied.

"You look so beautiful, Blair." He said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, and I love your blouse. Is that the new by Marc Jacobs?" asked Roman with a grin.

Blair couldn't help but smile at her parents. She nodded without adding anything more and they began walking to the exit while the garçon behind them took her luggage to their car.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

The house Harold and Roman owned was pretty big. It was like the house Blair dreamt about everyday.

Big garden with many trees filled with fruit and a small swimming pool surrounded by many different flowers. Large rooms with classic wood furniture and canopy beds. A gazebo with chairs where they had parties in the summer and even a small lake with ducks.

Blair's room was the biggest of the house. When her father bought that manor he recommended his architect and interior designer to do the best efforts to make that room perfect because his daughter was going to sleep there. Everything had to be perfect.

When they arrived Harold surprised Blair with a very big lunch full of every kind of food he knew his daughter liked. She felt really happy for the first time, this was a good sign.

She ate in moderation because she didn't want to throw up again, but it came natural eventually. She hoped her father and Roman would be fully asleep that afternoon and not hear her expel the food in the bathroom near the dining room.

After that delightful lunch, Blair felt the urge to rest, finally.

She almost forgot about the jet lag. There were about six hours of difference between Paris and New York, like she was reliving the day again, and in a weird way she was.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

That night Harold offered Blair to go have dinner outside.

They went to a famous Parisian restaurant, the one that was right in front of the Eiffel Tower It was at the highest floor of a skyscraper. _In New York there wasn't something as glorious_, she thought.

The three took a seat at a table near one of the big windows, so Blair could look outside and see that beautiful panorama. She was amazed.

Roman asked, seeing her in deep thoughts, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Blair smiled politely. "It's... wonderful. I've been missing this place since I was eleven."

"Well now you're going to enjoy it more, I'm so happy about this." he added.

"I'm too" Blair answered trying not to think about it that much.

It was a dreamy place, yes. She was with her beloved father, too. Nothing could have been wrong in that picture except the reason that pushed her to come there.

She let out a small sigh while a waiter brought their first course, Parisian potato dumplings.

Blair never ate this before, neither at French restaurants in New York.

She ate the food on her plate slowly because she knew she might have to run to the toilet and she didn't want to do it in front of her parents, like that afternoon.

"Do you like it?" asked Roman again.

"They're potatoes, after all, but yes. I really like it."

"We could teach you how to cook those, so you could teach it to Dorota" he smiled.

"I'd love too" Blair agreed and kept eating.

"I'm sorry but... Have to go to the bathroom" Roman excused himself before he finished eating. He smiled swiftly and left the table on a hurry.

Blair chuckled because Roman made her laugh.

"He is really funny." Her father commented with a grin.

"I really like him, dad."

"And you like it here?"

She looked down for a second then smiled widely. "I really do. Paris is the city of my dreams, remember?"

"I know" he grinned at her. He looked at his plate then took her hand. In that moment she was afraid of what he was going to say. His face hardened and he became serious.

"Honey, I'm really happy to have you here, even if..." he sighed "even if the circumstances are not what I expected."

Blair looked down again. He was suffering because of this. He was disappointed by her. She felt the urge to cry, but then her father continued "I'm happy you didn't have a... On the contrary I'm happy because I'm going see him or her before your mother." He smiled.

She was embarrassed, then. Her father was happy? That was a consolation for her.

"Are you... Really happy, dad?" she asked then. She was afraid of his answer. She couldn't believe her father was happy he was going to be a granddad in eight months.

He sighed "Well, to be honest I didn't imagine the birth of my first nephew or niece this way." He turned to see Roman coming back to the table. "We'll talk about it later..." he cut off and smiled.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

Trigonometry lesson, New York.

He hated math with a passion, like any other thing related to it.

He had tried on many occasions to convince his father, Bart, he had no business in that classroom, but his father justified the decision with a _One day you'll be the boss of Bass Inc. You have to know marketing and business very well, above all math_. He really didn't like it, so he only went to these classes to try and make a good impression with his father.

"So, this exercises... Mr Bass?" the teacher called him back to reality.

He was thinking of throwing a party at his club, Victrola. He lost himself in programming all the details, the guests, the catering and stuff. He raised both eyebrows; he didn't hear what his teacher had just told him.

"Mr. Bass, did you hear what I asked you?"

"Sincerely, sir? I didn't." frank as always.

With these words he stood up and reached for the door, he had enough for that day.

The teacher was saying something few seconds before he was out. The only words he could hear were _I'm gonna send your father a disciplinary report..._ Yes, as if his father cared much.

He didn't know where to go. He walked in the hallway for minutes, before thinking to take a bit of fresh air in the school's courtyard.

He didn't have only the plans for the party invading his head. He was thinking about other things, and in those other lost thoughts there she was. She left more than a month ago and she was like dead for everybody, like she wasn't the Queen of Constance, like she wasn't anybody.

Surely people were still asking themselves if she really went to France to attend a French course and not because she was sick or something, but the rumors were quite diverse.

He was thinking about her everyday.

He saw her at the airport the day she left. She reassured him she wasn't sick, even if her eyes were saying something else, so he felt kind of confident about it. Believing her was the first step, he knew that. He should put his trust in people, above all in people he was thinking about this much, much than usual... He still wanted to know her secret, though. He knew she was hiding something and she wanted nobody to find out. He told himself to push her away from his thoughts when he met his future step-sister Serena in the courtyard.

"Hello, sis" he greeted her cocky. 

She was reading a fashion magazine, she didn't even notice him. When their eyes met hers were **kind of** bored. He thought that was because something bothered her, she talked about it days before. Seemed like Georgina was in New York again, and he was the only one she could rely on to keep an eye on her. They got closer in this period of time because his father and Serena's mother, Lily, were engaged to be married soon.

"Chuck. Glad to meet you here even if I suppose you should be..."

"In class?" he trailed her off "I left it of my own free will. It was boring."

"You never change" she commented now with a bright smile. She was really beautiful, he thought. Too bad they were going to be family soon...

The thought of Blair was hard to keep away when he was with Serena. He freaked out more and he hated it. Nobody ever stuck around in his mind for so long.

He would have liked to ask her if she knew how Blair was, what she was doing in France, but he never dared to do it. He was afraid this would lead Serena to tell her. So Blair, flattered like she was when someone exposed his interest in her, would have reached the wrong conclusions about him. He had to act silently even if this brought him no answers.

"Sounds strange being here without Blair..." Serena said after some seconds of silence.

He laughed lightly thinking that the blonde had read his mind, so he took advantage.

"Really, how is she?" he asked casually hoping she wouldn't ask him why he wanted to know.

Serena looked down for a bit, then answered "Fine, actually she is really good. She decided to attend some classes in Paris. The bad thing is that the last months..." Her tone was unsteady. He thought she wasn't convinced of what she was saying, and this was weird.

This made him think again that Blair was hiding something. There was something big ahead, he felt it.

"I see" he replied with a vague tone while playing with the sleeve of his coat.

"You know, Blair always liked France. She wanted to... improve her French."

He nodded, but Serena's words didn't reassure him. It was all so confusing and strange, he had to think about a plan to find out the truth. He was curious enough to even leave that day for Paris. He had to see her, he was bothered, but he couldn't leave like this.

Serena greeted him and then she walked away. In that moment he came up with an idea. It was dazzling, he thought.

He decided that he would have eventually gone to Paris to look for her. It sounded crazy chasing a girl, but he knew he wanted to do it. Didn't know why, but he wanted to. He felt like he had to. What the hell he was he thinking, by the way?


	5. Fatherless

Hi there! How ya doin? I hope you haven't forgot about me hehe.

Thanks to my beta I can post another update! Hope you'll like it. :)

That morning in May Blair went out alone.

She had told the teacher that was helping her to be updated with what Serena and the others were doing at Constance and that she couldn't come that day, because that day she would have gone to her French gynecologist for the second time in two months.

She had just entered the fifth month of pregnancy.

Saying that word didn't scare her like months before because she was getting – forced – used to it. Roman's young cousin that went there for a week the month before never forgot her. Blair thought that girl was annoying, she thanked God when she finally decided to get back to Lyon.

Besides the fact that she was getting used to the word, she couldn't yet bear the fact that her body was changing. Her stomach was bigger now and all the dresses she took from New York didn't suit her anymore. This depressed her, but she healed this pain by doing some shopping and buying brand new clothes.

The gynecologist she went to was called Michelline.

"Bonjour, Madame Blair" she greeted her when Blair stepped into her office that morning. She simply grinned and sat down on the chair in front of the doctor's desk.

"Madame Blair, you are almost in the fifth month..." she said reading it from an agenda "few days left. What we need to do today is simple. I have to do the ecography again and then, if you want, we could try to see the sex of the baby." She smiled at her.

"Merci Madame, let's do it" she answered with a perfect French accent she was sure everybody would envy when she would have gotten back to the Upper East Side.

The gynecologist told her to get on the couch near the window so she could have started her exam. Blair lifted up her shirt and the doctor put some gel on her belly and started to move the toll slowly until an image appeared on the screen.

Blair wasn't surprised at all to see her baby – she didn't call it 'fetus' anymore - on the screen like the first time her doctor did this exam, but it sounded weird to feel it on your skin only few months after you studied it at school.

After few seconds they heard a noise coming from the machine. Blair thought it was broken, she didn't realize that was the sound was the baby's heart.

"It's heart beats slowly, but it's normal because is not formed yet" the gynecologist informed her. She was checking the screen carefully and writing some stuff on her agenda.

Blair didn't answer her, she instead started to cry. Not because her worse nightmare of being really pregnant was palpable and real, but because for the very first time she was connected to the child. It was the miracle of life, even if Chuck Bass helped to create it. Her mother was right, she was doing the right thing. It would have been immoral if she had this baby killed.

"Then, Madame?" she asked with a broken voice.

The gynecologist smiled widely then turned off the machine, "Madame Blair, is all good. You can sleep tight. Your baby is growing like I expected it to."

"So this means it's healthy?"

"There are no problems to worry about, Madame Blair" she said as she gave a Kleenex to Blair, "she's absolutely fine."

"She?" Blair widened her eyes at the response.

The gynecologist walked away to her desk to sign some papers, "yes, it's 90% a girl, Madame Blair. Aren't you happy? Many women dream about a baby girl as their first child."

Blair fixed her shirt then got off the couch, "I... am" she answered, not totally convinced.

The Doctor smiled then gave some papers to her and she started to walk away to the door.

"Madame Blair, wait a second, please." Blair turned and the woman gave a yellow envelope to her. She took it, unsure of what it may contain. "I'm sure your parents and the father would like to see the baby", the woman shrugged.

Blair looked down and sighed, "I'm sure they'll be happy to see it, thanks." She then walked away for real that time, she had to hurry to the limo before she started to cry.

The Doctor didn't know that the baby had no father. She would never have a father.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

One hour later Blair got home. She wiped her tears carefully and fixed her make-up before she gave the pictures of the baby to her dad and Roman. They were excited to see them, so she left the papers with them and decided to go into her room to make a call.

She counted the hours. In New York it should be eleven in the morning. She dialed the number and waited calmly on the bed until someone answered.

"Blair! I'm so glad you called me. I miss you." Serena didn't let her say anything.

"I miss you too, S... I was wondering how it is going."

Serena giggled lightly, "is not the same without you here, you know... But I'm trying to keep the girls in line. They're missing you too."

"They are? I thought they would have been happier without me."

"Everybody misses you, Blair. You wouldn't believe..." she trailed off. She wanted to tell her that she thought even Chuck was missing her, but she wasn't sure.

"I wouldn't I believe what, Serena? By the way, there's a reason why I called you."

"Then spill the beans!"

"I wanted to let you know... That you'll be an aunt, Serena!"

"Oh, really? An a..."

"Shut up! Someone could hear you", Blair snapped.

"I'm sorry, B! Tell me about it, I want to know!"

Blair smiled on the phone. "I've just found out it's a girl."

"It is? Oh my God, this is so good, B! I can't wait to see."

"Where are you, Serena?" Blair asked curious to change the topic.

"At school...", Serena sighed loudly. "Oh, hey, no!" she almost shouted.

"S? Your phone died?" she asked then looked at her phone, the call was still there.

"I suppose you are good too, Waldorf."

Blair shivered in pain. It was him. He surely took the phone from Serena's hands. His voice pleased her, though. "I don't want to talk to you, Chuck. Please give the phone back to S."

Chuck giggled, "What if I don't? I just asked you how you are."

"I'm fine, are you happy? Now give the phone back to Serena!"

"Don't be so rude, Waldorf. I didn't do anything bad to you."

On the other side Blair tightened her fist and almost hit the pillow. She would have hit Chuck's face if they were in the same room. "No, you did. You were born, this is the worst thing you did to me!" She said with a sour voice. Of course this wasn't the only bad thing he did to her.

"Always happy to serve my country, lady", he giggled lightly. "I'm really looking forward to see you in September, by the way. The limo is cold without you."

"Oh, I'm sure you can keep it hot with your sluts, Bass", she sighed, "Now, if you would excuse-me, I'd like to talk with my _friend _before I go to dinner."

She was getting depressed again after the call. If Chuck didn't take the phone...

"Blair, it's Serena. I'm sorry Chuck interrupted, now he's gone."

"No problem, Serena. He's the usual moron." Blair told her, bored.

"Maybe not completely. He is very kind and not judgmental like a lot of people."

Blair blinked her eyes on the other side of the phone, "S, are you on crack?"

"He truly is, Blair. We... moved into the Bass' penthouse last week. I forgot to tell you..."

"You did? Oh. I'm thinking you're living in a hell right now. I'm sorry for you."

"I thought it would have been, but it's not", she sighed. "Now I have to go, B. Talk tomorrow?"

"Sure. Go to your lesson and say hi to your mother and Eric."

"I love you", Serena said, hanging up the phone.

Blair sighed loudly and turned to the window. It was suddenly raining. Rain always made her sad, and her mood was really bad. She felt alone and she really wanted someone to hug her and make her smile. This situation was a mess and being in Paris didn't help her... She really missed New York and all the people that lived there.

Even Chuck Bass and the minions.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

That night Serena and Chuck went to a club to meet Georgina Sparks, old friend of both of them and known as trouble-maker. Serena was really a bad girl when she used to go out with her, and Chuck was way dirtier and perverse too, when she attended middle school with him.

The fact that she was back in town to visit her parents wasn't helping.

G took advantage of the visit to take revenge on Serena by ruining her relationship with Dan Humphrey, the only guy in a long time who really S cared about. Serena was anxious everyday, and the only person that understand her and that she talked to, was Chuck.

"I thought you knew how to get rid of Georgina, Chuck", Serena hissed one morning. She had passed the night in his suite, sleeping on his bed while he slept on the couch.

She was so drunk that she wasn't able to go in the penthouse.

"I thought that putting some drugs in her drink would be enough, but I was wrong", he sighed rubbing his eyes, "I'm really hope she didn't understand what we want to do to her."

"What we are supposed to do? Dan doesn't believe me anymore!"

Chuck rolled his eyes, "We should think about a better plan, sis."

"You have one? Because right now, I don't", Serena said as she fixed her dress and got off the bed to look at her reflection in the mirror near the dresser.

"I promised I would help you, but I'm a human being too. I need to think about it."

Serena whined then walked to the door, "I'm going to change my dress."

Chuck shrugged and stood up to walk to the bar he had in his room, while Serena opened the door to go to the Bass penthouse. She moaned lightly when she did so. Chuck was curious to know why, so he stepped to the door to find a really confused Dan Humphrey.

Dan wrinkled his forehead when he saw Chuck.

"Dan, what are you..." Serena tried to answer, but Dan trailed her off.

"I wanted to talk to Chuck, but as I see I have my answers," he said then turned to leave. Serena stopped him by putting a hand on his arm.

"It's not what you think, Humphrey. Just to be clear, Serena will be my step-sister."

Dan's mouth opened and formed an "O", like he was trying to figure out what Chuck said.

"That's why last night you were together? Georgina told me she saw you two."

"Did she?" Serena asked, "Dan, Georgina is not what you think she is."

"No, maybe you are not what I thought you were, Serena" he answered, "you might be jealous, but Georgina is okay. It was a waste of time coming here."

Dan left the hallway and went to the elevators while Serena started to cry and left too.

Chuck was a bit pleased by the scene even though he liked Serena with Humphrey.

He got into his suite again and tried to think about a plan, but nothing came to mind.

He then decided that there was only one person that would know what to do. He haven't heard her voice in two weeks, he kind of missed her. He decided to make the call when it was late night in New York.

*o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o * o *

Her phone rang at 4AM. She wanted to smash it because damn, it was too early for a call.

She took it and pressed 'accept' on the display without seeing the ID.

"Bonjour..." she said with a low voice, still in her sleep.

"Blair?"

She rubbed her eyes and sat up swiftly when she heard the voice. She thought she was still dreaming. "Who, what?"

"I'm glad you answered, Waldorf."

"I'm not. Do you have any idea of what time is it here?"

"Is that late?"

"Next time don't forget to go to your science class, Bass. It would help!" she almost shouted, "What do you want? I'd like to sleep, tomorrow I have an exam."

He sighed, "I want your help."

Blair giggled, "My help? I'm way too far to give you help. And if by any chance I would have been there, I wouldn't help you." She was not so sure about that, though.

"Georgina Sparks is back in town, Blair. She's bothering your best friend."

"Georgina? Why the... What is she doing to S?"

"Stealing Dan Humphrey, making her look like a slut... The usual."

"What I'm supposed to do? Because I'm sure you can handle the situation yourself."

"You trust me? That's new, Waldorf."

"Never said I trust you, don't change my words!" she rolled her eyes, "Now. Do you want to get rid of her, don't you? Why don't you use your special cocktails to get her drunk?"

"Do you think I haven't tried? It didn't work."

"Ow. And seduce her? I'm sure you're very good at it", she said with a disgusted expression.

"The era when the Bass and Sparks names went arm-in-arm was over in middle school. She doesn't feel anything for me anymore. She likes that Humphrey."

"That's a lapse of style...", she commented then cursed herself for what she said, "By the way I suggest you let her meet some prince or rich guy. That's her weakness."

"That's it?"

"What do you expect, calling me at 4AM is not helping my mind."

"I see", he sighed, "I'm gonna see what I can do. I'll let you know", he said then he hung up.

Waking-up with Chuck Bass' voice was so weird. She couldn't sleep after the call. She still thought about him and in her mind she imagined what he would do to get rid of G, and when he would have called her to let her know if his plan was successful or not.

After three hours in bed wide awake, thinking, she got up and got dressed.

She really had an exam that day, and she didn't want to fail it, even if Chuck's image in her mind wasn't helping.


	6. Puffy

Uhm ehm hi *waves* I almost forgot about this fanfic till I saw the document popping in the list of my Word. Seeing I had been written quite a lot of chapters already made me roll my eyes at me lol because I have no idea why I haven't posted them before today. This fic is pretty long and I've written most of it, so I can easily post an update twice a week. I just hope you'll like everything happened so far, theres still more to come! And I would love if you review it since I really love to read peoples opinions about what I write. See you soon to the next update and no, I haven't forgot about my On a Valentine's Day fic. I will post a chapter soon.

Xoxo

….

Three days later Blair had a nightmare, or that was what it looked to her.

She dreamed that Chuck was with Georgina and they were flirting like she suggested, then they kissed. The scene changed, and they were on Chuck's bed making out like crazy. It was all spinning until they got rid of their clothes and had sex. She thought she was watching a movie because in the dream the images of the two changed prospective.

She woke up that morning and felt her forehead wet. She dried it with a Kleenex, then got swiftly dressed and went out to have a walk in the park, trying not to think about the nightmare, even if it was difficult.

Why was she that scared? Maybe because after that call few days earlier Chuck didn't call her back and neither did Serena?

She thought she was stupid to actually think about it. She was thinking way more about Chuck, but there was no reason that this was maybe because she liked him. No.

Blair didn't like him at all. Blair hated Chuck.

She sat down on a bench and watched the beautiful landscape that was in front of her. France wasn't bad after all, but apart from her teacher and her Father and Roman, she had no friends. She sighed loudly at the thought, then someone sat down near her. "Ce jour est magnifique, vous etés d'accord?" asked a male voice.

Blair nodded and smiled, she didn't really want to talk to anybody. "Yeah, wonderful", she answered in her language.

"Are you English, madamoiselle?"

"I'm am", she answered coldly.

"Je suis Paul" he said, giving his hand.

Blair rolled her eyes, really bored, and stood up. It wasn't clear she didn't want to talk? She walked away and left the guy alone. She didn't follow her back, maybe he wasn't that interested, though he was really hot. Auburn hair, blue eyes... He was quite like Nate. She got back home early than she thought because of him, and she found her Father in the kitchen.

"Hello, Bear. I thought you would have stayed outside longer, lunch is not ready yet."

"I don't care about lunch, dad. I just want to read a book."

Harold smiled. Blair started to walk away after she took an orange juice from the fridge, but her Father stopped her. "Wait, Blair. Earlier Serena called."

"Did she? What did she say?"

"She told me to call her when you would have been here again."

Blair smiled. "Thank you, dad. I'll call her now." She kissed her Father's cheek and finally walked away to her room with the phone.

...

Serena answered in no time, and she was in tears. "B... Thank you for your call."

"What happened, S? Why are you crying?"

"Dan and I... We broke up. Because of..."

"Georgina? Please tell me that's not true."

"I'm devastated because I caught them making-out at my mom's pre-wedding party yesterday. After what Chuck tried to didn't work, she..." her voice trailed off.

"Calm down, S. What did Chuck do?"

"He tried to kiss her to trick her. Then to get her drunk, and other stuff. It didn't work."

Blair sighed. "And now?"

"Now she's staying here with Dan. He told me I lied to him and that he thought he loved me, but he doesn't. He likes Georgina now..." She cried out.

"What an... S, listen to me. I know G has a weakness on rich people, especially princes. Do you still have that friend... That was son of an Ambassador?"

"I could find his number... Let me check." Blair heard some noise on the other side of the phone until Serena talked again. "I still have it, thank God..." she sighed in relief, "let me call him. I'll call you later, 'kay?"

"Sure. Let me know. We need to take that bithc down!" she said, then Serena hung up.

…

Like the time before, nor Chuck or Serena called her back. She was pissed because she thought that her friends forgot about her now that she wasn't in New York, or maybe they haven't called yet because they were still trying to get rid of Georgina?

One week later anyway, at the beginning of June someone called from the Upper East Side, but it wasn't nobody of the two Blair expected.

"Miss Blair Waldorf? I'm calling for the Bass's."

"The Bass's? Did something happen to them?" she asked, worried.

"Yes, something really good. Mr Bass and his fiancée Lily Van der Woodsen are going to get married within seven days, and Miss Lily explicit told me to call you. She wants you there at her wedding. And her daughter too, of course."

She sighed, feeling suddenly depressed. She would have gone to that wedding, she loved them, but her belly was bigger and she couldn't find any good excuses to justify it to the people she left in New York. This couldn't be done.

"I'm sorry, but... I think I should refuse. I have several school exams next week, I cannot miss them. Can you tell Lily and Serena I'm sorry?"

"Well, I could. But Miss Lily made me promise that I'd do everything to make you accept."

Blair sighed again. "What if I call you later and meanwhile I think about it?"

"Of course, Miss Waldorf. Hope you'll say yes, by the way" then he hung up.

Blair feel back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Why did she tell that man that she would think about it? She couldn't go, she really couldn't. People would know the reason why she went to Paris, and she didn't want them to find out.

Someone knocked on her door. It was her Father. "I casually listened to your conversation, Blair... Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Lily Van der Woodsen is getting married next week. She asked me... Well, to attend her wedding. But I surely can't" she said with a sad low tone.

"Who said you can't? I'd find a way, if you really want to attend."

"Daddy, is not gonna work. It's... big, and people will see that. I wanna be calm here."

Harold sighed and looked around the room, trying to think about something. "What if you tell them? The truth is the safest way."

"In this case is not, dad! I don't wanna tell anybody, is enough Serena knows."

Harold stepped closer to Blair and put a hand on her shoulder "Why don't you ask your Mother? I'm sure she can suggest you something. I know you miss your friends. Call Eleanor, Blair. She's gonna find something, I'm sure of that."

Blair usually never did what people told her, but when it was her Father who suggested her things, she was happy to do them. After Harold had left her room, Blair stared at the phone for many minutes. She was twisted, because she knew her Mother was smart in finding ideas and this worried her. Not that she didn't want to attend the wedding, though. She was only afraid that somebody could find out about her state and put her in a bad position. This secret was really a juicy news for those who attended Constance and Saint Jude.

She finally called her Mother right before dinner, and she was surprised by the conclusions.

Her Mother had suggested that she would wear a dress that would be large on the stomach so her belly would be safe. Blair wasn't sure of that, she had to see the dress first to judge, so Eleanor promised her she would work on it the following day.

When Eleanor sent Blair the picture of the dress just two days before the wedding, Blair was still torn, but she decided at the end that she would go. She missed Serena, her Mother and Dorota. In a way she missed Chuck too, but she would never admit it out loud.

On the second week of June, in a hot sunny morning, Blair left for New York.

She wore something really large and uncomfortable because she had to be sure that nobody would suspect anything when she would land at JFK. She knew she had to be careful with her movements, because even a little mistake could ruin her facade.

The flight had been calm and relaxing. The only bad thing was that it was really long, she ate bad food and threw up two times in eleven hours. Though not because of the baby, but because she suffered sometimes on the flights.

A car should have been waiting for her outside the JFK, but there was no one, even the taxis were all away. She sighed, bored, and sat down on a bench while waiting for the car to arrive. Like few days before, someone sat on the same bench and approached her.

"Do you know when a taxi will get here again? Because I'm really tired."

Blair turned her head slowly ready to answer badly, when he heard the voice. "Please?"

"I want to know a way to get to my Hotel that are not taxi."

Blair sighed then looked at the guy better. She thought she had met him before, but where?

"Are you okay?", he asked, kind of worried.

"Maybe not."

"Do you need something? Perhaps, a Doctor?" he motioned to put a hand on her shoulder but she moved away. She didn't know him and she didn't want to be touched.

"I need to go to my house as long as possible."

"Do you live here?"

She rolled her eyes, more bored. "That's none of your business."

"What do you want", he giggled, "I thought you lived in Paris."

"Why? Do I look like a Parisian? I wish."

"I thought so because we met last week in the park near the Tour Eiffel..."

"It was you?" she asked, surprised that the guy remembered.

"Yes, Paul. I was offended when you left me there."

Blair shook her head and smiled slightly, "I was in a hurry."

"Like now."

"I'm tired, Paul", she spelled his name coldly, "and not in the mood to talk."

"Why?", he asked while a car parked in front of them. It was surely the car her Mother sent. Blair stood up, motioned something with her hand to the man near the car and he took them in the car. She ignored the question and opened the door.

"I'm sure you're tired too after an eleven hours flight."

"Can you take me to my Hotel?" he asked with a big grin.

"Is it in Brooklyn or Queens?"

"Nope, is the St. Regis. I don't know anybody here... I don't want to get lost," he smiled.

Blair thought about it for a second. The guy wasn't really bad and he surely was wealthy if he had to stay at St. Regis. She nodded and grinned and so the guy got in the car. The car took Paul to his Hotel few minutes later. _He is a really lovely guy_, Blair thought. He was funny and kind too. Blair knew that maybe that wouldn't be the last time she would meet him.

...

The following morning was the big day.

She had slept really few hours when she arrived, all the night thinking about the wedding. She hoped that nobody would find out the truth. Her Mother tried to reassure her that everything was going to be perfect. The dress she had made perfectly fitted on Blair, it hid the belly with its large tissue. It made her appear like she was a little puffy because of the material used, but at least people could blame the dress, not her.

The dress was pink with flowers on it. She had sandals of the same color on feet and a graceful matching headband with a big flower on it.

Eleanor Waldorf smiled while she turned around to see Blair in her dress. "You look wonderful, Blair. This dress is really made for you, look" she said as she pointed the big mirror in Blair's room. "I used a special material and created a special shape so is normal for the dress to look 'puffy'. But is better this way if you don't want anybody to see."

Blair looked herself in the mirror and smiled "Is gorgeous... Thanks, Mother."

Eleanor kissed her cheek, happy to see the joy in her daughter's eyes. "I'm sure everything will be perfect, Blair. Just act normal", she nodded.

"I will," she agreed.

"Miss Blair!" Dorota rushed into the room "Miss Serena here waiting you."

Blair exchanged a look with her Mother and took her clutch. She went down the stairs slowly to reach the hall where she spotted Serena waiting for her. The blonde was sitting on the khaki couch and was looking at the windows. She turned her head just in time to see her friend.

She smiled when she saw Blair, and then reached her to hug her.

"B, I've really missed you," she said, almost in tears.

"I've missed you too, S, but you're choking me."

Serena giggled and moved away, she took her friends hand and started walking towards the elevator. "I thought you weren't going to come. Did something happen? I see you are..."

"What? Slim? With no... Stomach?"

"You lost..."

Blair blinked once "I didn't lose anything. Is just the dress."

Serena's mouth fell open "If you could fool me, you can fool everybody."

…

He was happy because his Father was going to marry Lily Van der Woodsen that day. He liked the woman, and even if she had like four marriages behind, she made his Father happy, and this was what mattered the most. He also liked Lily's kids. Serena was a hot blonde, while Eric was a playful guy, and he enjoyed his company.

Lily was the first woman his Father would marry after his dead Mother.

He thought the thing was serious because Bart had many flings in his life, but he never proposed to anybody. He really was like his Father and he knew it, but he thought he was still young to think about marriage or even about being 'in love' or in a 'relationship'.

He wore a black suit with a flowered bow-tie. It was like Eric's, they were the best men so they had to wear the same outfit. He was eager his Father had chosen him, but he was afraid to do something wrong, like say the wrong words during the toast or get drunk, or something similar. He was afraid that his Father would be ashamed of his behavior, so he promised himself that he wouldn't flirt with female guests until the end of the ceremony.

He jolted when he saw the door of the limo opening outside the building the wedding would take place. He rubbed his eyes twice to see that was really her that was exiting the car with his step-sister Serena. He was amazed by the dress she was wearing and all her whole appearance, she was really beautiful.

He wished inside that she would have came, but he thought she wouldn't.

The two girls walked towards the building while talking, and they barely saw him. He noticed Blair's mouth fell open when she spotted him near the entrance of the building.

"You two look gorgeous, ladies."

"Thank you", Serena answered. "I'll see you inside, my Mom needs me" she then said, and walked away leaving them all alone. Blair wondered if she had done it on purpose or. Chuck turned to Blair and smirked. She was worried because Serena left her alone in the wrong moment, but she knew she could handle him by herself.

Chuck took few steps forward to reach her hand and he kissed it sweetly. Blair didn't retract like he thought she would. "I'm glad you managed to come, Waldorf."

Blair rolled her eyes "I only came for Lily and Serena."

Chuck nodded with a smirk, "Yes, really sure that's the only reason Blair" he nodded, being sarcastic. "How are things going in France? Don't you miss people here in the city?"

She crossed her arms, visibly bored of the conversation. More than bored, she wanted to hide from him and his attentive observations. "I'm sorry to let you down. You are not on the list of the people I miss" she raised both eyebrows and rolled her eyes.

Why she was still there talking to him?

He didn't answer at first, he just stared at her. It really made her feel uncomfortable thinking that she was standing in front of Chuck – pregnant with their future baby boy or girl and he wasn't aware of it and never would. "When you'll be back" he whispered so that she could be the only one hearing that question.

She was soon reminded of the last time she had seen him at the Airport. He had asked her the same and then they kissed. "Why do you care so much?" she asked bitterly. "You don't have anyone else to torture?" her question came out shallow and she thought it was time to go. She didn't give him time to answer, she couldn't risk being asked more questions about what she was doing in France. Sure Chuck wouldn't make public the pregnancy story if he knew the baby was his, but knowing the truth? Never gonna happen anytime sooner.

….

Lily Van der Woodsen wore a beautiful Vera Wang strapless white dress.

He watched her walking towards the nuptial arch where his Father, him and Eric were, while the classic wedding march was playing. He turned few times to his Father to see that he was smiling. Bart Bass smiled rarely, this was weird for him to see. He hoped that this wedding would make him softer.

One hour later, all the guests moved in the big room where would be served the wedding breakfast. Chuck was of course at Lily's and Bart's table with Eric and Serena, while Blair was sat at the table of the singles. There was Nate sitting near her, but the two barely greeted each other when they met few ours earlier, it was so sad.

Chuck looked swiftly at her a lot of times, noticing that there was something that bothered her, or so he thought. She had been with her head on her hand most of the time, her elbows put on the table. She barely looked around with her sad expression. He felt like she was feeling quite lost in her own town, of which she was still the Queen.

He decided to stand up and to walk towards her, but when he reached her table sure to find her still sat there, she wasn't. Nate, instead was talking with a brunette on the chair nearby.

"Nate, can I ask you something?" Chuck interrupted his conversation with the girl.

Nate stopped laughing and stood up. "Sure thing, tell me." He looked nicer than ever.

"Have you seen Blair?"

Nate became serious. "Yes, kind of. I saw her leaving probably headed to the ladies room."

Chuck chuckled slightly, "The toilettes. Why haven't I... Thank you, man" he said as he patted his shoulder and left. He had been so caring earlier that year with Blair's health not to think she could still have her eating disorder. He felt upset at the thought of it and hurried up.

….

She knew that she shouldn't had eaten that thing, but she liked it so bad and her pregnancy hormones were evil that now she was confined in that little bathroom to throw up. She left the room silently to go there, she didn't want anybody to notice she was feeling bad, especially Nate. She didn't want Nate to care for her, not anymore. Plus, seemed like he had already found a replacement, that Vanessa Abrams from Brooklyn. She was more disgusted at the thought that her once beloved ex boyfriend was dating such whore that when she went out she shut the door of the toilet with anger.

"I wonder who did make you so angry, Blair" a knowing voice said.

She raised her head with fear and swiftly checked her dress. It was clean, thank God. "Chuck... This is the ladies room, you shouldn't be here."

"I know", he said as he stepped in "but I was looking for you."

Blair shook her head, "I thought we had this conversation earlier. Leave me alone."

"It wasn't over, and you know that."

She rolled her eyes, "When are you going to get that I won't give myself to you again? Paris changed me."

"I didn't come for that" he said, and she could read sincerity in his voice. "You looked sad" he commented stepping more close.

Blair's mouth fell but she tried to feel unmoved by his concern. "I'm not sad."

"You're throwing up again" his words echoed in the room. Damn why she was seeing real concern in his eyes. She regretted going to the bathroom, there was no way to run to.

Blair sighed, "I can't believe you were stalking me again. You are sick!" she spat angrily. She started to walk away after she felt he was being a pain, but this time he held her arm firmly. He felt the pressure and wanted to free herself, but it seemed like she hadn't the strength. "What do you want?" she asked, her voice really low. She was about to break down, though she struggled to pretend she was happy.

He let up on her a bit and put his other hand on her arm. "Tell me you are okay. Tell me you've not gone to France because of your health, Blair."

"You can see it yourself", she raised both eyebrows and looked away.

"I can see you're breathing, yes. But they taught me not to judge a book by his cover."

"Chuck, why are you so obsessed with my health? Neither my mom is. You should go to a good doctor, I think there's a problem with your mind."

"I just want to hear a 'yes' or a 'no'."

Blair looked around carelessly and then answered with a grin, "Why not a 'that's not your business?'"

She freed herself from his grip and turned to leave, this time he didn't do anything to stop her.

She went outside where it was a bit cold, and sit on a bench in the garden. She really wanted to cry, the thing that happened minutes before in the the ladies room with Chuck feared her. She was afraid that Chuck could touch her and find out her not so little secret. She had the feeling that he would've kissed her, and she didn't want to be kissed... In a way.

Weirdly, part of her was eager to kiss Chuck again. She had missed him, and even if she didn't want to admit it, she had missed him a lot. She felt the goosebumps on her bare arms until someone put a jacket on them. She turned swiftly to face a guy. He wasn't Chuck, she thought she was lucky that night he didn't dare to follow her outside too.

"Hi," the guy greeted her. Blair simply smiled and looked away. She was tired. "Seems like we keep meeting, huh?" the guy continued, giggling a little.

"It seems like it."

"Then why don't you tell me your name now? It's the third time."

She sighed then grinned awkwardly, giving him her hand "I'm Blair. I'm sorry for the other time... In Paris."

The guy curled his lips and shook his head "Don't think about it. After all, I was a stranger", he said, looking at her. She wasn't paying much attention. "And if you didn't answer me, maybe you... Had your reasons", he lowered his head clearly pointing at her belly.

Blair sighed loudly, "I would like you to shut up, if you don't mind."

"Of course, I really don't mind. I don't want to be rude now that you finally introduced yourself" he chuckled "and I'm guessing you have your reasons to keep this secret."

"You guess right," she smiled. "I... Well, if someone finds out about this, my life will be over."

"J'ai comprìs, mademoiselle", he joked with a grin.

Blair looked away again. She started staring at the door where she went out minutes before. She wasn't felling cold anymore thanks to the jacket the guy – Paul, gave to her, but she was tired. She just wanted a warm bed to sleep.

She yawned, then stood up. "I think I should go home. I'm pretty tired."

Paul stood up too. "Will I ever see you again?"

"When will you leave for Paris?"

"The day after tomorrow. 9am flight."

Blair nodded, "Then we could easily meet" she grinned, then walked away.

….

The following day she slept until 12pm. She was very tired of the flight of two days before, the wedding, the meeting with Chuck into the ladies room... She scratched her forehead and rubbed her eyes and yawned. When she finally opened her eyes, she almost jolted. "This can't be happening", she rolled her eyes. "I'm going to do a restraining order against you, if you show up without announcing yourself again."

He stepped forward, "I'm sorry if I feared you, but I needed to let you know something."

"Don't tell me, you're going to say that yesterday's conversation wasn't over?"

"I didn't think Blair Waldorf would be so dazed and confused at noon. Maybe I was wrong."

She sighed, then tried to cover her belly more "I've just woke up, I would have liked a good coffee and maybe a croissant or some strawberries. Maybe a piece of cake. Instead, I got you. What do you think I was going to answer?"

He sat on her bed. "Why so much food? Is not good if you're going to throw it up into the toilet", he raised both eyebrows.

"Tell me what you have to, then go away. I have stuff to do, and you're not on the list."

"Ow, I've missed your demonstrations of love, Waldorf. Considering that you look so eager to hear what I was about to tell you before our little tete a tete, I'm gonna spill the beans." He licked his lips swiftly then crossed his legs, "Did you wonder why Humphrey wasn't at the wedding yesterday?"

Blair widened her eyes, "Why should I? Do I look like a blond with big boobs or something?"

He chuckled lightly and shrugged, "I see you still have your sense of humor, I'm thankful. But I thought you also had a smart brain. Maybe the jet-lag infected your memory."

Blair glared at him, remembering what he was talking about. Why did she forget so easily? She even gave them a little help with that situation few days before. "Georgina."

He smiled, "Exactly. It was painful for Serena, but in the end I offered Dan and G some tickets for Europe to get the hell out of New York. They accepted, of course."

"Are you telling me Humphrey went away with that... Psycho?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Luckily for us, yes."

"I thought he was a pain in the ass. He broke Serena's heart! That's why I'll never date a guy from Brooklyn", she said the last word with disgust. Chuck giggled, and Blair too. She looked at him, smiling, but she soon regretted it and changed her facial expression. It was too weird to be true, agree on something and smile together. "But..." she continued, "that wasn't what I suggested."

"That guy was unavailable. Serena tried to call him for three days, but he never answered the phone, so we had to think about something, and fast."

Blair nodded, then sighed "It seems it worked" she shrugged.

Chuck simply smirked and stood up. Without adding another word he came closer to her and kissed her lips swiftly. He touched her cheek gently before leaving "I'll see you in September."

She didn't have the chance to answer because he walked away in no time, leaving her alone again. She didn't expect he would have kissed her, even if that was only a peck on the lips. She was reconsidering her hate on him, because he had surprised her. He really seemed to care about her health. If only he would have guessed what she was hiding...


	7. Not ready

It passed a month. Blair was seven months pregnant now, and her life was changed a bit after the Bass wedding she attended more than a month before in New York. She wasn't that unhappy because she found a distraction that wasn't shopping, and this looked particularly amusing since she still had two months with dealing with pregnancy left.

"Bonjour, Mr Waldorf. Can you please tell Blair I'm here?"

Harold smiled widely at the guy out of the door "Please, come inside, Paul." He moved a bit to let the guy pass through the door and get in the house. "So, where are you going to go today? Blair told me yesterday you had lunch near the Champs Elysees."

"Oh, oui. I hope she enjoyed the trip. Is not really near from here."

Harold grinned and nodded, "I'm sure she did. Blair loves..."

"Dad, when are you going to stop this?" Blair got in the room and cut him off "Paul could get bored of your worries" she said, and Paul smiled at her. She smiled back.

"No, it's okay" the guy quickly answered.

"See? No problems. Now you better go, I know you're eager to get some fresh hair." Harold chuckled and patted Paul's shoulder before walking out of the room. Blair picked up her bag from the couch and she and Paul got out of the house.

It seemed like she really found someone to be happy with, after all.

She and Paul met in the flight for Paris. She didn't think he was serious about that. He promised they would meet again, but she thought he was kidding. Instead, she found him sat on the seat near hers. He insisted to start dating after few times they met 'casually' in the park, and she reluctantly surrendered after the third casual meeting.

He never asked more about her condition. The pregnancy, that is. He always tried to be kind and sweet with her, he took her to the most expensive restaurants in the city and to the most exclusive places she didn't know existed before. He really looked like the perfect guy, better than Nate. But she told herself she didn't have to fake much because she had known him for a month. She didn't know if he had some secrets, if he was different from how he appeared to her. If he was some type like Chuck, someone who couldn't be really trusted.

"I'm sorry that tonight I won't be able to go out with you," he said while they were walking in the park.

Blair blinked suddenly pulled out of her reverie. "Don't worry, sweetie. Your dad is more important, I understand you want to go to his dinner."

"Thank you," he smiled, then he stopped and sat down on a bench with her.

For some reason, she didn't really care Paul hadn't asked her to come with him. He had informed her his Father had thrown a dinner and his whole family would be attending and that she didn't need to get tired smiling and shaking hands in her conditions. She needed rest in his opinion, and he wasn't wrong, but somehow Blair thought to be a distraction for him as much as he was for her.

The thought of it made her smile. She wasn't ready to be tied to a guy right now.

….

He tried to resist the urge he had to leave for Paris, but he failed after a month.

He decided to take the flight for France during the night without telling anyone. He only left a message for Serena at their penthouse just in the case Bart wondered where his son was, which he highly doubted he would since he was busy with work.

It was really hot when he left, even if it was night. He hoped there would be a good weather in France too, but he knew that in the summertime that country was a bit cold. It didn't matter, he thought. The most important thing was that he wanted to see her again before September, and he had to with good or bad weather, he couldn't help it.

He needed to know she was alright and to check she was doing what she had told him she was. He really hoped to see her tanned and joyful, knowing that anyway the possibilities she would want him there were less than zero.

He decided to leave also because he was trying to convince her that before or then she would believe he cared for her, even though he didn't dare to admit it out loud.

The peck on the lips he gave her the last time they met was too fast and simple. He would have liked deep contact with her lips, but he was sure she would have hated him. He had walked away in a haste just because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself,

but this time was different. One month had passed, and he was sure she changed her mind on him, or at least he hoped so. What if she had enjoyed it, he thought.

The plane took off at ten in the night, and reached Paris almost eleven hours later, when in Europe was noon. He slept on the flight - even if not really tight, and he was ready to explore the city to find her. He didn't know where her Father's house was, so he decided to make a call. They had this service in USA, hoped they had it in France too, although thinking about it looked stalkerish. But he and Blair weren't exactly on good terms for him to make a call and ask. The address they gave to him was too far from his Hotel, so he decided he would go for a walk somewhere, just to visit the city before borrowing a car and go to her.

….

He decided to go to a park, he didn't know why. Every time he walked in Central Park he felt pleased because he got to meet a lot of chicks he later offered drinks to and got to spend some time with when Nate wasn't usually around. This park in Paris wasn't so full of people, though. He thought maybe for the Parisians was already late, and they all went to have lunch? It was two o' clock after all.

He sat on a white bench and crossed his legs after half a hour of walking.

He didn't feel tired because he did find nothing, he was barely hungry. He wanted to sit down just to enjoy the long trip. After all, he came there to meet her but he was still on a holiday.

If things wouldn't go like he thought they might had, he would simply call a high-priced escort and passed the night with her, as much as he wasn't thrilled by his own idea. He deserved to have fun, he was still young, but somehow he thought he was blocked by something unknown.

He sighed and looked at his phone. Too bad she had changed her number after the wedding,. No matter he had it because he copied it from Serena's cellphone, Blair wouldn't surely answer him anyway.

He took a cigarette from his jacket and lighted it up, then started to smoke carelessly while some little boys passed near him with a football ball.

He felt that something was going to happen, he only had to be patient and wait. Well, he had waited for one hour already. He couldn't be there more, he had to think about the next move. He couldn't remain there and lose time looking around, as much as the environment of the city looked breathless. Rain decided for him, luckily or unluckily. He didn't bring an umbrella with him, so he stood up and started walking fast, trying to find a shelter.

There was a couple not too distant from him, and they were kissing. Rain was making impossible to him to see clearly, but he swore he was quite sure the girl was her. Probably the desperation or the droplets of water on his face, who knew.

She had a large jacket on her shoulders that covered her up to her legs. She wore it to repair her haute couture white and green dress from the rain, he noticed. The guy was really tall and with auburn hair. He looked like a soccer player or something, too much different from him. He kinda reminded him of Nate if it wasn't for the darker hair.

The couple parted a bit and he thought he saw her smile as he was getting closer them. It was her, he had heard her laughter or what he thought it was her giggle. The foundling made him smirk, but still he didn't have the guts to approach them. Once he got closer, he believed he had just dreamed.

The girl started talking in French and lowered her tone.

It definitely wasn't Blair then.

It was less than four hours later that he finally managed to get to the Waldorf's mansion. It was pretty nice from the outside. He noticed there should be a lot of trees planted in the back garden too, he could see them from the outside.

He told the driver to wait there, and he walked slowly towards the door.

He had changed his suit after the rain had drenched the one he had before. He couldn't let Blair see him with wet clothes, not the day he had decided to go there supposedly for her. Thankfully the rain had stopped and it was just a memory now.

He rang the little bell decorated in a late 1600' style, and waited until he heard a well-known sound from behind and turned.

"Why are you complaining? Well, you cancelled" she giggled, then turned to face him.

She suddenly froze and wrapped herself tighter in the coat she was wearing. It was the same one he saw the girl of the park was wearing. Her hair were a bit wet and messy, but she was still perfect. It was her, he realized. He hadn't been wrong. The guy didn't notice Chuck until Blair talked again.

"W-what are you doing here?" she started to walk fast and reached the door that was now open thanks to Roman. She got inside and almost closed the door without letting him answer the question, but he was faster. With a hand he blocked the door from closing.

"I didn't think that going to Paris would have made you rude."

"Please, you're not in the position to say what's rude or not" she answered with annoyance looking at everything rather than him.

She forced herself to close the door, but he was stronger. "Then why are you closing the door? I just came to see you" he tried to explain without success.

"To check on me?" she rolled her eyes and looked away. "As you can see I'm doing pretty good. I've been outside today and enjoyed time with-" she cut herself off when she noticed Paul was still there. She didn't want the argument to turn into some scene that would make Paul probably came to the wrong conclusions.

"I see," he stepped forward and smirked, while she got more in the house. "But you can make an exception for me. I came from so far from New York, soaked in the rain earlier..." he tried to look nice, but she was hard.

"You know what, Chuck?" she smiled "You can come back to NY. I'm not gonna invite you in. I would say I'm sorry you had to fly this far to come and act like my Mom, but I'm not." She smiled bitterly one last time before closing the door. He shook his head in disappointment and started to walk away. He might try again the day after.

His expression became harsh. He wasn't going to give up, but he had to at least for today. He noticed that Blair's date was still there. Did he hope to get in?

"Are you her ex boyfriend?" he asked, but Chuck barely heard the question. He was deep in thoughts. He turned to the guy with a confused expression. "I beg your pardon?"

"I've just asked if you are her ex. Are you?"

Chuck giggled lightly and looked down, then walked to his car "Kind of." He had been impulsive much with that answer, but who cared. The guy should have been afraid of him until he would have... He was fantasizing too much again, and the fact that Blair was still hostile towards him wasn't helping his mind to stop. He had to find out why she looked so secretive, hiding behind a door not to let him see her.

He had expected it, but still didn't lose hope. Next day, it would go better.

….

When she saw him standing out of her Father's house she thought the worst.

What if it didn't rain that day and she was in her tight dress without the coat that was protecting her? What if he would have found out the truth?

She passed a hand through her hair and sipped some water from the glass she held. She had to calm down, Chuck was gone and after her cold-shoulder treatment he wouldn't come back hopefully. She had to be confident of this possibility, even if it was a small one. He was Chuck Bass after all... He wasn't that brave but he didn't give up easily either when he wanted something, and he looked like he wanted to know she wasn't throwing up. This had been his main concern all the times after she found out she was pregnant, and he didn't know how he was right about that. Morning sickness had passed, though. She felt tired but she felt okay.

Not that she minded someone cared of her health, but not Chuck. He was selfish, he used people. He surely was doing this to earn something. It was sad her baby girl had the misfortune to have been created by such person. She deserved better, and so did she. She had to be strong and had to try to stay away from that guy although he was the Father.

Chuck didn't have a good relationship with his, how could he even try to be one for the baby.

She was looking down, the coat still on her shoulders when her dad spoke. His look was both severe and worried.

"Blair Bear... I wanted to ask you something and I'd like to hear an answer from you."

She could say she saw this one coming. "Sure, dad" She answered as she sipped another bit of her water. It was helping her to calm down, actually.

"Is that guy, Charles... Is he bothering you in some way?"

She sighed in relief, then turned her head and shook it. "He's just a sick moron, dad."

"Should I be worried? I mean, why should a Bass come here from New York to greet you? We're not that friends with the Bass's... At least not me."

"He was annoyed for sure" she said carelessly.

Harold patted her shoulder, "I didn't think that kid is so-"

"Womanizer? Rude? Totally disgusting? Yes, he is."

Her Father giggled, surprised by her words. "You seem to know him well" he noticed, entertained by her answer.

"I don't, dad. People gossip a lot about him, that's why."

Harold nodded, then sighed. Blair thought he remembered what he was going to ask earlier. "Well, that's a guy to watch out then" he smiled slightly. "But that's not what I wanted to ask you minutes ago."

Blair looked down, tighten her hand around the glass and sighed.

"You know, when your Mother told me you were going to have a baby I was a mix of happiness and sadness. I didn't know what emotion should had prevailed on the other, but then I chose happiness. A child is always a bliss, I told myself. If God decided to send one to my daughter I should be thankful, not angry" he nodded "I know I shouldn't ask you this because I respect your choices, but I'm your Father, and-"

Blair cut him off. She was still looking at her hands. "It's him. He's... the Father."

She bit her lips and closed her eyes. She wanted to cry, but in front of her dad seemed like tears didn't want to fall. She breathed in and out.

She was now free from a big secret.

Her Father took her hand and held it tight. Word weren't useful in that moment. He just let her put her head on his chest and be silent for a long minute until she freed herself from the half hug and stood up. Harold smiled at her, finally happy that she had found the strength to confide to him. She smiled back and without adding another word she run off to her room and lied down on the bed for a bit and cried herself to sleep.

It didn't matter Chuck had flew to Paris just to meet her or her Father knowing he was the Father of her future child. What it made her cry that night was being aware of what she was about to face it alone.

…

I know this chapter is meh, but is a transitional one. Baby is about to be delivered!

Reviews are love :)


	8. Unlikely Show

Hi all. I know I've neglected this story and I'm sorry, and it's stupid since I've already have this story written already, lol. But I wanted to focus more on my Valentine's Day fanfic that on the other hand I still have to finish.

I will try to update this more often... I hope to make it, haha.

Enjoy and reviews/comments are appreciated :)

….

Chuck came back to New York two days after he and Blair had met outside her house.

He wasn't happy he had to come back early, but why stay there if she didn't want to see him? He was sure something still bothered her. He saw something in her eyes, and the way she treated him was more unfriendly than ever. He had given up until September. He thought that guy he met in France that she was dating, wasn't worth. _They're not gonna last_, he thought.

He left to join Nate and the Van der Bass's at the Hamptons while Blair kept having a good time in Paris, unlike in the last few days. The city was hot those days, and it was weird because Paris didn't use to be hot in the summertime.

One night of August she woke up with her forehead beaded with cool sweat. Her hair were sticky and wet too, due to the hotness. She would have had a cold shower, but in that moment the thought was barely touching her.

She couldn't sleep, and she felt a throbbing pain in her stomach. She didn't want to get up off her bed because she thought it would have helped laying down, so she tried to calm the pain caressing her belly lightly. _Stupidly_, she thought.

She touched her stomach gently for some minutes, but nothing changed.

The pain was getting on her nerves. Not that she hadn't felt it days before, but this was worse. She needed help, and she needed it now.

She then tried to get off the bed. It was hard, then pain was really hurting her. She decided to go into the kitchen to drink some water.

_Worse._

She couldn't even arrive at the end of the stairs that she had to sit. She didn't have the strength to stand up again, and she was suffering because of the hot weather.

She tried few times to get on her feet, but she failed every time.

She sighed, then decided to call her father. She was sad it was late and she would have woken him up, but she needed help this time. She really couldn't make it.

Harold came in a hurry. "Blair, my dear, what's wrong?"

"My stomach hurts, dad. And it's not because I ate those French potatoes."

Harold put his arm behind her back and tried to lift her up. She put her hand behind his neck to grip and try not to fall, and they went down the stairs slowly. They reached the dining room, where Roman appeared few minutes later. He was upset, and he asked what was happening. He brought her some water, and she sipped her glass in no time. It wasn't enough, though.

Blair tried to stand up but she felt something under her feet. She sighed loudly as the pain grew, then looked down and saw some water on the wooden floor. She thought she dropped some from the glass she still held in her hand, but she realized it wasn't the same water.

"Oh my God," she whined, while her dad and Roman were already talking.

"Roman, take the keys of the car and bring some of her dresses in the hand-luggage next to her bad," Harold suggested. "We need to hurry up."

Roman simply nodded and rushed to the upper floor to take what his mate had asked.

"We're taking you to the Hospital, Blair Bear," Harold explained.

"No!" she shouted too loud without thinking "but I'm eight months pregnant, is too early!"

She was scared. She just entered the eight month, she was afraid her baby had some problems if it wanted to go out now. She didn't feel prepared for some reason, even if she read a lot of books about pregnancy.

In that moment, she only hoped the baby was going to be okay.

Harold looked serious at her. "Blair, don't act like a child. Your water broke, and the baby is going to be delivered soon... You need to calm down. doctor will know what to do."

"But, dad. Is too early!" She cried.

Harold shook his head. "I know, my dear. But trust me. You two are going to be okay" he stroked her hair gently, and helped her going to the car.

….

Few hours later – around six in the morning – Blair was laying on a Hospital bed.

Her doctor was there to check that all was going to be fine, but she was still scared. The woman had had a really hard expression for the whole time, and made her thought that maybe something was wrong with the baby. This idea surged her stomach pain.

When the gyno was done with the visit, she turned to Blair. Her expression was still severe.

"Madame Blair, I'm really sorry."

"Sorry?" she asked with diffidence. She started to panic again.

"I made a mistake. I... made the wrong counts."

Blair was alarmed. "Please, explain better. I beg you."

The doctor stepped forward to her bed. "When you came to me the first time I didn't perfectly consider the time of your pregnancy... I'd swore that the fetus began to grow around December of last year, but I was wrong. Seeing the ultrasound and analysis, your pregnancy started around the second – third week of November."

Blair stared at the woman in surprise. She tried to go back in time of some months, and she remembered the last time she and Chuck had done it. It was at her 17th birthday party, and while Nate hadn't showed up, Chuck had comforted her with sex.

"I'm thankful my baby wasn't conceived in that dirty limo, at least" she broke out in her language with a disgusted face. She hoped the doctor didn't understand, but she wasn't sure.

The doctor laughed lightly anyways. "You're going to give birth today, I hope." She then took some papers and read them fast. "Or tomorrow. I'm not sure. Now I'm gonna go and do my routine trip. If you have any pain, please call me" she pointed the control next to the bed.

The gyno smiled one last time, then she left the room.

Blair lied her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes. She started to think about a lot of things, like the fact that she was alone in this.

Her mother wasn't going to come unfortunately, because she was busy with her work. Dorota either, she was stuck in New York. And Serena, more than anyone. She was in the Hamptons with her family... she was feeling so lost, and lonelier as the minutes passed, and she was thinking about_ him_. After the fast apparition he made the month before she was more confused.

She was starting to think that Chuck Bass really cared for her. Not only because maybe he wanted to have sex with her again, but because he purely cared. Though she was only fantasizing. She couldn't believe that because Chuck only cared about himself. Perhaps he was just obsessed, and he had some dirty goals to reach in his mind.

She was going to deliver _their_ baby soon, and she was alone. Thinking about it a second time, she laughed. It was better that he didn't know anything, because that's how it had to go. Chuck wasn't ready to be a father, and would never be able to play that part.

Her daughter wasn't going to have a playboy as a father. Her baby would be a little queen, she deserved the best. Chuck Bass wasn't the best. Somehow the thought made her cry. She was being too hard on Chuck. What if he would change?

She fell asleep thinking about that.

….

Blair woke up few hours later because the pain was back.

She looked at the clock that was in the room, it was two in the afternoon. She rubbed her eyes trying to wake up, turned to the window where a promising but hot sunlight was invading the room. There was someone near there, she wasn't dreaming. But who it was? Blair couldn't see clearly because of the light, so the figure turned and let her see who she or he was.

"Finally you woke up." She walked towards Blair's bed and hugged her tightly.

"Oh Serena, I'm so happy to have you here!" Blair exclaimed with excitement.

"I couldn't not come here, B. I couldn't not see my niece. And I missed you."

Serena sat on the bed and held Blair's hand. Blair felt relieved that her best friend was there. At least some part of her family was with her. She didn't think her friend was real.

She smiled, almost on the point to cry for the happiness. "I thought I was going to be here... alone. I sent my dad and Roman to their house again because they were too tired."

"They told me. They were happy I came, they didn't want you to be alone" she said, and Blair managed a tiny smile. "Did you come here last night, didn't you?"

Blair nodded. "Yeah, I did" she sighed in pain. "I woke up because my stomach hurt, and it's still hurting so bad" she whined.

She touched her belly instinctively because of a sudden pain. The pain grew more and she felt a great pressure on her belly, like she was going to explode from a minute to another.

The machine near her made a weird sound and then a nurse rushed into the room.

Blair didn't know what was going to happen, but thankfully her friend Serena was still there, and she was holding her hand tightly. She felt safer and happier, even if until the pain would disappear, there was nothing to be happy about.

Her doctor came two seconds later with a worried expression, and checked the same machines the nurse had taken a look at. "Madame Blair, the baby wants to get out. We need to go."

Blair nodded with fear and more nurses came and started to move her bed through the exit towards the delivery room. They gave Serena some things to put on her dress and she followed them.

"We think we'll need to do a cesarean section," the doctor informed her.

Blair rolled her eyes back and started to sweat cold while they got into the delivery room.

In the following four hours Blair was full of sweat on her body, and not willing to do what her doctor suggested her. She insisted before or then the baby would go out of her belly naturally, but clearly, things weren't going as she had planned. The pain increased every minute and she couldn't bear it anymore.

"Madame Blair, we need to do a C section now or we'll have complications," the doctor informed her, but Blair still tried to push so that the baby would be delivered naturally.

"I... DON'T!" she shouted, then some nurses around her checked something on the machines.

"She has contractions, we have to open now" a nurse informed the doctor in French.

The gynecologist hurried and took some things from a table near there, while a stubborn Blair tried to push again. She didn't want a C section.

A nurse stepped towards her to prepare to operate. "I think... it's ready."

The doctor came to see. Everyone around her was busy with something, trying to fulfill her desire, while Serena held her hand.

Few minutes passed until all was really ready.

Blair tightened her grip on Serena's hand and pushed harder when the doctor asked her. It was really painful, but after some good minutes things were going as planned, and Blair was happy. Or at least, only because they didn't have to do a C section. The whole operation was really hard to bear. She promised herself after that baby she wouldn't have any if not after she would get married with her prince charming. But she wasn't thinking about Nate that time.

After she delivered her baby girl, she had fallen asleep.

She had barely looked at the baby after the doctor gave it to her, because she was exhausted and wanted to sleep for a bit. That sounded weird and cold for a mother, but Blair hadn't realized that she had just given birth. It was still a strange thing for her... being a mother.

"Hey, I'm glad you woke up." Serena told her after her long nap. She was sitting right next to her bed, reading a fashion magazine.

Blair rubbed her eyes, still dazed. "I've... slept? I can't remember... the baby. Is she okay?"

Serena nodded, then stood up to get near Blair's bed. "B, you have to see her. She's beautiful! You fell asleep just after the doctor gave her to you, that's why you can't remember."

Blair casually put a hand on her belly and felt the emptiness. "I've delivered? I thought I had died" she joked. "The only thing I can remember is the throbbing pain."

"I know, but now it's over, B." Serena smiled, patting Blair's arm. "You have to see her!"

"I'd love to,"Blair agreed, trying to sit on the bed. Serena had to help her, before she rushed out of the room to call a nurse that would take the baby there.

In that moment, she felt strange. The baby was finally born, but something was missing.

_The baby needs a father_, she thought. But she knew nobody could play that part now.

She was only seventeen after all, and the baby's father – though she didn't want to think about him – was the last person she'd liked to tell the good news to.

"Damn you Chuck Bass!" she silently shouted.

"What did you say?" Serena asked. "Have you just mentioned who I heard?", she continued.

Blair didn't notice her friend had just came back in the room with a nurse and a little, transparent crib. She ignored the question and simply smiled at her.

Serena picked the baby up, and without adding other words she gave it to Blair.

Blair didn't feel excited at all. There should have been something wrong with her. Every mother was happy to see her baby after nine long months where the baby was in their belly. It was human nature to love children, especially the ones we created. But she... she felt indifference.

She held her baby girl tight, worried she could have fallen. Her thoughts changed when she saw her eyes. From a non-excitement, she was suddenly filled with tears in her eyes.

The baby was beautiful. She had dark brown hair just like hers, and hazel brown eyes. She looked so defenseless there, in her smallness. She felt bad for didn't care.

"She's just like her mother," Serena commented, and sat near her on the bed. "And those eyes, they're just -" she stopped. She looked at Blair and felt sorry.

"Come on, Serena. You can say it. I won't get angry," Blair raised an eyebrow, trying to look normal. Saying that name would have made the truth worse, but she had to accept it.

"I'm sorry, I was thoughtless. But they... they're just like Chuck's."

"I know" Blair answered suddenly turning to the window and starting to think. Serena's sad truth arrived in the wrong moment, but Blair had to stop the denial.

….

Blair was discharged from the Hospital soon. It was all ready, but a thing was missing. Blair hadn't chose the name for the baby yet, and at the Hospital they wanted to know so they could register her.

Blair stared at the paper she had to fill in for about five minutes, while Serena was next to her with Harold and Roman. They were so sweet to come and take her home, but she didn't care about anything in that moment if not that damned name. She had to decide one, the baby couldn't grow up without a name. But what name should she pick?

She thought about one, and then wrote it down on the paper. After she and her parents got out of the Hospital she thought she had made a big mistake. That name... she remembered, but now was too late to change it. Now it had to stuck on her little baby forever.

She decided to come back to New York after few days she had delivered.

It was sad leaving Roman and her father after those months they had spent together, but she had to. School was going to start in two weeks, and she needed to arrange some things and do her great come back. Serena had told her that people were eager to see her again. She didn't expect this, really. But she was Blair Waldorf, people couldn't forget her so easily.

For some weird reasons she had missed her home town. Sure Paris was dreamland with all the exclusive shops and fine art, but New York was kind of a capital of the world, nothing could stand its charm.

Serena had stayed with her. She had decided it was better to be with her best friend during those days, because they needed an excuse to tell their friends if someone would accidentally see them at JFK, and would take some photos.

They couldn't hide the baby, so they went for a plan. Harold Waldorf decided to help them too, so he came with them to New York. They decided that if someone would ask who that baby girl was, they would say that she was her little cousin. Her parents had just died in a car accident and her father and her mother were the only ones that could have taken care of her.

Well, they would say that only if someone would have found out about the baby.

Blair had to keep the baby in her house if she wanted that nobody would find out the truth of why she had left for Paris. The idea itself was sad, because the girl wouldn't be able to go out like a normal child, but Blair was selfish enough to let her need to protect her popularity to be more important of the baby's needs.

….

The evening of her come back in town, her mother and Dorota had passed all the time after the dinner to play with the baby and Blair could understand them.

Her daughter – the word was still weird to pronounce – was beautiful and lovable, it was impossible not to like her. With those dark brown curls and those hazel nuts eyes she looked like an old doll, the ones made with porcelain, both fragile and hard, she could see it in her little eyes. Those were just like Chuck's, she noticed again. They had the same shape.

That was another thing that would have linked them forever, and she didn't like it. She didn't like to see in her daughter's eyes everyday and see the eyes of the person she was starting to hate again, the person that had ruined her life without knowing.

Blair took the baby in her room after Dorota and Eleanor finally decided to go to bed. She breastfeeded her and changed her diaper, then she put her little head on her shoulder and waited until she burped to let her know she had digested, like her mother had suggested.

She was wandering back and forth into the room telling nonsense things to her baby when someone caught her attention. Her heart jumped into her chest hearing that voice. She slowly raised her head and locked eyes with him.

"Then it's true" he stated, stepping forward to her.

"How did you" she started, but couldn't find the dare to continue. She was scared now.

He smiled slightly like he used to do all the times and shook his head. "Look, Blair. I unfortunately listened to a conversation between Lily and Serena. I couldn't think that they were telling the truth, it was weird" he continued "I couldn't think he had actually impregnated you... I thought he wasn't that dare to do it, so I decided to come here and look with my eyes to be sure and I see that I'm right not to trust my son."

Blair sighed and looked at her little baby on her shoulder. She didn't know how to answer, and that was weird, because Blair always knew how to treat people, but him... Bart Bass was looking at her with those icy eyes and think about a decent answer was difficult. It was Chuck that had knocked her up, after all. He was the one to blame.

"Chuck doesn't know anything about this" she explained.

"Yes, I know, and he has to be kept in the dark. My son is not ready to be a father and he'll never be ready in my modest opinion" he shrugged. "But this child is a Bass, like it or not. I want her to have the best. If you let me."

Blair cut him off. "I can take care of her myself. I'm a Waldorf indeed, not a Humphrey."

Bart shook his head. "If you're afraid that someone will know, you're safe. I'm not gonna tell the world my seventeen years old son just had a daughter. It would ruin his reputation, and we both know Chuck is a hell of a mess."

She hated his cynicism. Yes, Chuck was a bad guy and most of the times he was a creepy pervert, but Bart was his father and he shouldn't treat him like that. The way Bart Bass _mistreated_ his own son was disgusting at her eyes. Even if a nasty piece of work, Chuck deserved someone who loved him. Especially one member of his family. She suddenly felt sorry for him.

Bart stepped forward, clearly interested by the baby. "She's so beautiful" he said. "How did you call her?"

"Audrey" she simply answered. The name surely referred to Audrey Hepburn, but she didn't care. That baby was hers and she decided what name should had.

"That's a nice name" Bart commented. "By the way, from tomorrow you'll receive some money every month. I don't accept excuses. I now you're wealthy, but this baby is my grandchild and as such she deserves some attentions from me."

Blair frowned and shook her head in surrender. She didn't want any money from the Bass's, she was wealthy too, she could afford what her baby needed, but Bart's blue eyes were pleading her to accept as if with money he wanted to adjust his son's mistake.

"Think as if Chuck would have sent them. We have a deal." He smiled, then shook hands with Blair. She remained still while he glanced one last time to Audrey and walked away.

She checked on Audrey and she had fallen asleep, so she put her in her little pink crib and she changed for the night. Just right before she could shut her phone Gossip Girl sent the blast. She knew she was back, and she knew what she was carrying with her. That wasn't good.

….

August was over soon and the school began again. Blair didn't go out at all after she came back. She wanted to be at home with her baby, and Serena every once in a while came to play with her. She didn't need a social life in that moment, she thought. She was quite happy that way, she didn't like the idea of leaving the baby with Dorota even if she knew she could trust her. She was more afraid to meet her school mates again.

She knew that then or now she would have to meet them again and they could ask her why she left and so on... she had to be prepared. She was in fact thinking about good excuses. Serena would help her too, of course.

That morning she had decided to go to school alone. She had to face the thing by herself, no Serena around. First people she would have to face were her minions. Those were such a gossipers, who knew what theories they had made up while she was away.

"Good morning, girls" she said with an eloquent tone faking a smile.

The three girls, Penelope, Hazel and Isabel, turned their heads towards her, quite surprised. "Blair?" Is asked. "then Gossip Girl was right" Hazel added.

"Unfortunately" commented Penelope with an annoyed tone. She was acid than ever.

Blair raised both eyebrows as a sign of challenge. "Penelope, I think the desire of power went to your head while I was away."

Penelope giggled harshly. "To me? Blair, you decided to rule overseas... now I'm the Queen around here." She raised an eyebrow and smiled with satisfaction at her.

"Oh, you might were when I wasn't around. Seriously, do you really think you're good enough to even compete against me?"

Penelope stood up and with her Hazel and Isabel. "Blair. Let me tell you directly. People now learned to obey to the new queen, which is me. I don't think your late come back will change people's minds. You're dethroned now."

Blair sighed deeply and gritted her teeth, she was getting angry. "No one has been dethroned until I say so. You're nobody."

"Wanna try? You're nobody, Blair Waldorf." Penelope said with a cheerful bitchy smile on her face. She bumped into Blair lightly and then with the other two minions walked away.

Blair was alone now. Surely that wasn't the welcome back she had expected. All of a sudden her fears had become real. She was afraid that her not so little trip to Paris would change things in the city. A Queen couldn't stay away from her throne for long that her minions would take advantage of that. She irrationally blamed the baby for that, and obviously that Chuck Bass.

She took a deep breath and decided that she would think how to destroy the mean girls during her classes. She had to find some new minions and she had to talk to Serena too.

….

Few hours later, during the break, Blair started to think again about what to do. Serena was with her, both already exhausted because it was the first day. "Serena! Do you understand? That stupid Penelope is lord it over the girls while that is what I should do! I need new recruits."

Serena looked at her, confused. She looked like she didn't give a damn about those things.

"Well, I think that's _not_ your first priority now. You _should_ think about other stuff."

Blair made a face. "Oh, Serena. Don't tell me what I _should_ do but what I _must_ do!"

Serena sighed and Blair didn't like it. She didn't like her friend not being interested at all. "The truth, B? I honestly don't think you'll succeed."

Blair was horrified, so she glared at her. She couldn't understand why she didn't trust her. "I can't think my best friend just let me down! You forget who I am."

"I haven't" someone said behind their backs. Blair turned to meet his accomplished eyes. She was afraid to see him again after that slight meeting in the summer in Paris. She was afraid he had figured out something, maybe she didn't hide her belly well that day of his father's wedding.

Blair rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed by the interruption. "I know what you didn't forget, but it's not the place and time to talk about it" she instinctively said. "This is a private conversation and you're clearly not invited." She tilted her head left and smiled bitchily.

With both hands in his pockets he leaned forward and smirked. "What I pity. For you, that is. I thought that since Serena is my step-sister now, we would have shared... things."

Serena sighed in annoyance. "Chuck, you're sick."

"Am I?" he giggled slightly. "But at least I don't betray my friends."

"You're twisted" she commented, lowering her head casually.

Blair looked at her best friend and then Chuck, then her best friend again. She felt like there was something wrong with her, she answered in a weird way. At least Blair thought Chuck and Serena were good friends now, but. "What's happening? What betrayal?"

"Do you want me to say that, sis?" Chuck offered.

Serena raised her head, looking clearly guilty. "I'm sorry" she finally admitted, barely looking in the eyes of her best friend.

"Sorry for what?" Blair asked with anxiety. "Serena, you know you can't lie to me."

Serena started to cry. "I... I'm sorry, B. I'm really sorry."

"Sorry for what? Serena!" Blair put both hands on Serena's arms and started to shake them.

"I'll tell you" Chuck offered, smirking like he always did. "While you were away who knows where, your friend Serena well thought to take your place as the new Queen Bee. Penelope, Hazel, Is and the others asked her to fill the emptiness you left... and she accepted of course."

Blair's mouth fell, she was shocked. "Please, tell me he's lying," she pleaded. Serena shook her head but didn't answer. Blair took her silence as a 'yes'.

"Oh it's true, believe me. I've witnessed it with my own eyes" Chuck continued. "What amuses me is that your minions even asked her to be their Queen this year, and she accepted. How fun is the life, huh?" he giggled, clearly accomplished.

Blair frowned in anger. Serena was eying her with that typical guilty look of a scared girl. She really wanted to slap her, but she told herself she had to stay calm.

"Do you really have nothing to say in your defense?" Blair put her hand on her hip, "and don't say you were keeping it warm for me for when I would be back. It's an old excuse, just like your bag from last year's collection."

"I was just doing that, really" she managed to explain.

"Do you think I'm _that_ stupid, Serena? I can't believe you did this _to me_, _your best friend_."

"I'm sorry, I really am sorry, B. I was trying to..."

"I don't care! You accepted to be the Queen behind me back! Even in the summer, you didn't tell me!" Blair shouted, then shook her head. "I'm disappointed. Don't look for me."

She then walked away from them, headed to the next class. She couldn't believe her best friend did that, she thought she could trust her, but in the end you she realized that can't trust your closest friends either.

_I'm gonna destroy her, she can't do this to me!_ She thought the whole time when she attended the other classes. She really needed an ally in that moment, but who could help her?

...

One week passed and Blair was already wore out. She had tried her best to think about a solution and take her queendom back, but she couldn't came up with anything good because of her busy life. She went everyday to school, attended classes, argued with some annoying people who now thought Penelope was some kind of Goddess since Serena seemed to step back from the throne. Then she came back home, breastfeeded Audrey and ate, slept, and other daily routines. All this alone, only helped by Dorota and her mother when she wasn't abroad because of her work. Serena didn't show up at the Waldorf's at all.

Blair didn't know if she missed her more than she was angry at her. She surely still was her best friend, maybe there had been some misunderstandings between them, but it didn't meant they couldn't figure them out. There had to be an explanation. She wanted to think that Serena had done it all for her, but maybe she should have called her later for an explanation.

She thought that first she had to breastfeed Audrey. That afternoon she was on the big rocking chair in her room with the baby held onto her, sucking the milk from her breast. That day she looked so hungry, and this made Blair happy. She wanted her baby to grow up healthy and at the same time she thought about her breasts. They will became normal again after the breastfeeding period would have been over? She liked to have big boobs for once, it was crazy.

"Miss Blair," Dorota got in her room interrupting her thoughts, "Mr Chuck is in living room, waiting you."

Blair raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. "What does Mr Chuck want?"

Dorota shrugged. "He told me want to talk with Miss Blair, he got news for you."

"Tell him to wait," she said, removing Audrey from her breast and cleaning the spot with a Kleenex. "Or better, take Audrey and stay with her while I go down to see what that annoying Bass wants me to say."

She stood up and gave the baby to Dorota. She checked herself in the mirror to see if she was okay. Chuck was known to catch the most little imperfection in someone or something, she had to be almost flawless. She then buttoned up her shirt and went down.

She spotted him in the center of the room, he was turned to the window. "Chuck" she said with an annoyed tone. "What are you doing here?"

He turned to her and opened his arms. "Hello to you. I'm good, thanks" he smiled widely.

Blair went down the stairs and reached him, trying to keep some distance. The fact that he joked about the harsh question she had just asked him irritated her, but she expected it.

"Go to the point, Chuck. I'm busy and you are always good at arriving in the wrong moment."

"If I knew this was the thanksgiving for being honest to you when your friend wasn't, I should have thought about it twice."

Blair sighed and rolled her eyes. "Come on, we both know why you did it."

Chuck licked his lips and looked annoyed by her statement. "You know what? I'm bored and you're making things harder" he then turned and started to walk towards the elevator. "And I've just decided you don't want to know what I came up with to help you take back your place as the school Queen."

"What... What?" she followed him, trying to stop him from going into the elevator.

"Are you interested, then? I just need a simple _yes_."

"Yeah... Yes." She said, not completely sure.

"Happy to hear that."

He pushed on the button to call the elevator and got in. Blair hurried near the doors and stopped them from closing. "And what? You didn't tell me anything, Chuck."

"Believe me, you'll find out soon. Now" A great crying broke his sentence and him. He opened his mouth and looked up as if he was searching for someone or something.

Blair tried to keep herself calm. _Why now, why?_ _She asked herself in her mind, now Chuck will ask questions and I'm not ready nor I want to answer them._

Chuck frowned, deep in thought.

"I think you can go now" Blair pushed him into the elevator while he still tried to understand where that sound came from. "Who's crying?" he asked.

"What? Nobody's crying, Chuck! You better go to a doctor, your ears are damaged."

Chuck raised one eyebrow, surely not convinced at all. But Blair was able to make him go into the elevator again and close the doors. She sighed in relief, but she didn't feel safe at all. She knew it was only a little noise that could simply come from a movie she would say Dorota was watching upstairs, but Chuck was the type that could hire a P.I. if he forgot where he put his scarf. She should try to hide things better.

….

The following two days everyone had free weekend, so Blair couldn't find out what Chuck wanted her to tell. She surely thought he was going to suggest her something kinky or perverse, and she didn't like the idea if it was. She couldn't came up with a good idea herself, so she welcomed everything could help her at the moment.

Chuck texted her in the third hour and asked her to have lunch with him. That was an unusual thing for her since they didn't eat together if not at parties threw by their parents. The fact he wanted to have lunch with her sounded not so Chuck Bass-esque.

She was waiting in the courtyard of the school for him when someone turned her and kissed her wildly. She stopped the kiss and slapped the person in question. She stepped back from him, trying to clean her mouth. He ruined her lip gloss. Honestly, that kiss wasn't that bad but who gave it to her... She would never admit out loud that she enjoyed it.

"Are you crazy?" she asked, enraged.

He didn't listen and stepped forward to her again. "Shh. Shut up." He was ready to kiss her again but she swiftly stepped back with a fake disgusted expression, ready to walk away. Chuck took her arm to block her. He really wanted her to listen, even if that plan sounded crazy. Blair was a mix of emotions.

"Now tell me why you did that if you don't want to be slapped again."

"It's part of the plan" he confessed.

"This was the plan? Because if it is, I'm out. You're insane."

He smirked. "Did you really think I'd found you new minions?" he giggled slightly. "You know, there aren't good minions around. Sometimes is better to be alone. But sometimes is good to have at least one person who watches your back."

Blair raised both eyebrows. "And that would be you? Sorry but I'd rather be alone."

"Now tell me. Do you really want to be remembered as the dethroned queen, Blair? Do you really like to live in the dark as an ordinary girl at Constance? Because I know better, and I know you don't. I'm the only one who can help you."

"And listen, what we're supposed to do? Kiss in the courtyard?"

"You're close. We should pretend to be - do you know Bonnie and Clyde, don't you?"

Blair rolled her eyes. "We won't pretend to be together!" She almost shouted and made a girl that was passing in that moment jolt with fear. She turned again, ready to leave for the second time that day, but his hold was tight. She couldn't escape.

He leaned to her and reached her ear to whisper something. She was barely moving. That distance was too short for her to bear. Her heart was humming into her chest. She hoped he wouldn't notice it. She should pretend he didn't affect her at all.

"Think about it, Blair. People feared you, but now that you're alone you're a piece of cake, even Humphrey could be better than you. But with me" he shrugged "we could make a good team, you know. If we unite, we'd be stronger and people would tame us."

"Are you telling me I should pretend to be your... girlfriend if I want to get my throne back?"

"I knew you were smart, Blair." He smirked.

Blair started to think about it. Okay, maybe being together even if for joke was too much, but she didn't dislike the idea. She knew she didn't feel anything for him but a slight sexual tension. After all, in a world she would never dare to explore Chuck was the daddy of her baby, so he was supposed to be with her at least. But Chuck didn't know anything about the baby, and he wouldn't know anything for the next twenty years maybe.

She sighed in surrender. "Fine, then. But at one condition" she started. "We'll never share beds, or limos, or whatever." She surely didn't want to get pregnant again and run to Paris a second time and she surely didn't want to have sex with him more than everything.

Chuck nodded. "Who said anything about limos?"

She slapped Chuck's arm and snorted. "I haven't finished, Chuck." She pursed her lips and continued "I'll let you kiss me just twice a day, only if needed."

"That's not fair" he complained, while she glared. "Anything. But well, if you want me to kiss you no more than twice a day, at least let me take you somewhere. You know, have dates."

Blair rolled her eyes for the tenth time that day. "What do you want, Chuck."

Chuck shook hands with her. "Don't forget our deal" he whispered in her ear making her shiver for nothing. "I'll wait for you near my limo when classes are over. I won't accept let downs." He quickly smiled at her before leaving the courtyard.

She couldn't think about the whole situation in that moment, because suddenly her phone vibrated. It was Gossip Girl, and she had already pictures of her kiss with Chuck.

This was not good, or it was? Didn't she want that kind of help?

….

Classes were over at about three in the afternoon for the students of the last year.

Blair was waiting for Chuck outside the school like he told her, but he was five minutes late. This was irritating her since she still wasn't willing to do this thing with full conviction. If he wasn't going to be there in the next two minutes, she would leave. She thought boys of last year at Saint Jude left the building almost half a hour before Constance girls, so maybe... she sighed, then started to walk away. She had to breastfeed Audrey and there wouldn't be a Chuck Bass to stop her. She had been stupid to accept his deal.

She heard the klaxon of a vehicle and turned to see the long limo parked near the sidewalk.

_That damn vehicle_, she thought. But at least he had kept his word.

The window of the limo showed his accomplished smile. He managed to get out of the car soon and leaned closer, while he watched her with that usual smirk. He licked his lips, thing she noticed he did every time she was around, and that made her anxious. She suddenly didn't like that look, she thought he was hiding something. "You're even hotter than few hours ago" he complimented her.

She got irritated. "That's flattering, thanks. But it's poor. You're not gonna trick me with those kind words."

"I like it when you're touchy" he giggled. "And if you're smart like I think you are, you saw I came to pick you up even if I went out of school a while before you."

"Then what? Nobody asked you to come to take me home, I can walk."

"I wanted to" he raised his eyebrows. "Now all the girls from your school are gonna get out of the building, so the timing is perfect for our little show."

When he said those words, they heard the noise of the crowd approaching. She turned to see a little crowd of freshmen going slowly out of the building. She bit her lip, she knew they had to do something to let people know they were together, but what?

"Kiss me" Chuck ordered with urge. He didn't let her add more that he pulled her to him to kiss her lips wildly, almost like he wanted to mark his territory. Everyone had to know she was his, even if that was only for show.

Blair knew the vehemence of his kisses, but that time he seemed more involved and caring. She didn't push him away like she would have done in another occasion. She kept sharing that kiss with the same intensity he was using. It had to be credible.

He, as far as he was concerned, was trying to kiss her like it was a special kiss.

His lips didn't crush hers like when he kissed call girls. That kiss was wanted, he had expected months to kiss her and not be pushed away. He was enjoying inside more than he could ever describe with words. Obviously, he would never tell her.

He moved back and stopped the kiss. He had that smirk on his face, but that time Blair had seen something tender in it, like he wanted or better - pretended to be sweet to her.

Maybe he was just a good actor like her, but that kiss was still perfect.

She turned when she heard some 'Oh' from behind her. Penelope and Hazel were standing there, mouths opened, and clearly surprised. They had their phones in their hands, both Chuck and Blair thought they had just taken a picture of the two of them kissing and both were satisfied. This was what they were trying to do. But why Penelope and Hazel were there if seniors went out of the school minutes before?

Blair didn't care. The girls walked away in no time and more people starting to stare at them like they were movie stars at a premiere. Chuck sighed, pretending he was annoyed by the crowd and took Blair's hand, leading her towards the limo. He kept the door open for her like a gentleman, then he got inside after her and the vehicle took off, headed to the Waldorf's.

….

There was stale air inside the limo. Well, it wasn't really, but the fact that she was sitting next to Chuck made her so claustrophobic and she couldn't bear it because the last time she was there they practically conceived their baby. She didn't want to fall again for him and do it for the second time. One time was enough.

She tried to do what she would have done if she was in another car. She checked herself into the little mirror she carried in her bag, then took her phone to see if there were any messages. There was nothing from Gossip Girl, and it was weird. She thought that her ex-minions had taken a picture of them kissing, why wasn't on the site already?

She sighed, frustrated. Then she turned to Chuck casually. He was doing what she hoped he wasn't. He was staring at her and his expression was neutral, almost dreamy, like he was thinking about something he wanted to do in his mind.

It was still confusing for Blair. She thought that expression was different from his usual smirk. It was the same she saw few minutes before, when they were outside the school. As if in that car his deep and hard walls fell down and showed the true him.

Blair stopped staring at him and turned. She didn't want him to think she was looking in his direction to see his face – even beautiful and fresh, and so attractive. He had to feel she was still diffident, they were only there to play a game and nothing more.

The limo stopped in front of the building where Blair lived, and she sighed in relief. She was about to say something when their phones rang. They both looked at the new message with enthusiasm and a big smile. "She took long to post the news" Blair commented. "I wonder why since Penelope took a picture when we where outside."

"Maybe she had to be sure" Chuck turned to her and grinned. He was disappointed she was turned to the window. "This only means that she believes us."

"This was our purpose, wasn't it."

"You were superb, Chuck added with a sensual tone, leaning forward to her.

Blair turned and glared at him. Nope, the old Chuck was still there and was still trying to flatter her to reach something she would never give him again. She managed to undo her seatbelt, but he put his hand on hers to stop her. She turned and glared again. This time she was surprised again by the change of his expression.

He looked defenseless. Again. _What were those, Chuck Bass' puppy eyes?_ She asked in her mind. "You forgot something" he reminded her with his deep voice changing face again.

She raised an eyebrow, understanding what he meant in no time. "No, _you_ forgot something which is our deal. I said two kisses a day. And if I recall, you already had your two at school. Try tomorrow, if you're lucky."

Chuck shook his head, but she was already out of the limo. Okay, he had tried. He had other days to kiss her, he shouldn't worry that much. He sighed and then told his driver to get back to his building.


	9. The Beginning of the End

Hi! Sorry if I take time to update this fanfic but it needs lots of revision. This chapter is longer than I thought haha. Thanks to everyone who read the last and added the story to their faves. :)

I love comments :)

….

Blair could say she was getting used to pretend to be in a relationship with him. She had no idea why, but it felt comforting. It seemed like people were accepting the fact that they were together but didn't care much. They had yet to start caring the way they wanted them to care. This affair wasn't getting to any point and this irritated Blair so much.

As if things couldn't get worse, Serena decided to join the mean girls and they crowned her the new queen bee after a lot of times she tried to make up with Blair and failed. She heard that her and the minions usually went to Butter on Wednesdays and they tried to meet older guys because they wanted to be with someone who was an expert in the sexual subject. They never did such things when she ruled and she found stupid to go hunting for men.

She didn't have any ideas to get her throne back besides Chuck's idea.

They had spent the first week calmly faking they were going out, having just two dates. One time he had taken her to a chic restaurant to dine and another time they went to the movies. Well, not exactly the movies as per se. It was Chuck's personal cinema located in a suite she didn't know the existence of at the place where he and Bart lived before he married Lily.

She was surprised that Chuck didn't force her to stay after the dates were over. It was weird seeing Chuck keeping a deal without trying to trick her to have more. After the first time they went out - that he called '_rehearsal_', he seemed to have tried to behave good for the sake of the plan. He was a nice guy after all, he had good tastes in foods and places and knew how to dress. He knew about a lot of things that were important for her, queendom at school included.

If only he wasn't Chuck Bass, they would be a perfect match. For the few days they had been seeing each other, he seemed changed and the the right guy she would love to be with at the moment. He was the only one left in her life besides her daughter.

She didn't want to think about that role he was playing though. They were faking everything a normal couple did, that's all. There wasn't anything more than that even if she was enjoying it. There was no way on Earth that he would play that role for real in the future.

Chuck was still Audrey's father and he was being good in Blair's opinion, but this didn't assure her that he would behave the same way if he knew the truth she was hiding from him.

She was worried that he may overreact, run away and pretend as if they never happened and neither their daughter did. He would probably try to ignore the evidence in favor of a more free and uncontrolled life. Or so what was she thought. She would love to be wrong.

Despite the odds, her baby still needed a father. She could try hard to play both for Audrey but at some point she would crack. She knew she wasn't invincible.

That sunny day, however, she felt particularly happy. She wasn't sure from where the happiness came from, she supposedly believed that day things would change soon. She liked being optimist for a change, it was a new emotion.

When she was walking in the courtyard, her good mood started to diminish when she spotted Nate sitting alone. They hadn't seen each other for months and the last time had been at Bart and Lily's wedding in June. And they didn't even talk. Their relationship was quite cold now, none of the sparks she had felt in the past were left. At least on her part.

She smiled a little, and so did he when he noticed her. She wished she didn't do it.

He went towards her and didn't let her say anything. "I didn't think you would come back."

She giggled, trying to do a better and credible smile. It passed few seconds of silence between them. This made the situation harder to handle. It seemed as if both of them didn't know what to say.

"You know, this summer I went sailing with my dad. Vanessa was with me too."

"Are you still with Brooklyn, Nate?" she shook her head, quite disappointed. "I didn't think you would have lasted so long." He knew how much she loathed that girl.

Nate shrugged. "I didn't either, but it happens it did. She is nice."

"I'd say good for you" she shrugged. "But you know how much I'm allergic to that place!" she laughed. "I will just wish you good luck."

"What did you do instead?" he asked with curiosity.

"A French degree study in Paris. I thought I told you?"

"You did" he smiled slightly. "I'm glad you came back. School was not the same without Blair Waldorf."

"I know" she said with conviction. "Remember I still want to get into Yale" she exclaimed.

"Blair" he sighed. "I know a lot of time has passed but I wanted to apologize to you. I've been rude at that wedding, months ago. I was... just angry you had left."

She nodded in agreement. "It's an old story, Nate. I have already forgiven you" she lied. "I had to leave. It was now or never. It only happens once in life and you know how much I wanted to do this. I couldn't give you false hopes while I was away."

She tried not to look like she was hiding something. Nate was naive enough not to ask her.

"You don't have to say anything. That's fine now. I'm fine now." He smiled.

She smiled. "Then we're _friend_s like before?"

"Friends?" he seemed confused. "Yeah."

….

Chuck heard some boys in his literature class saying that Nate was back from the long holiday he was having with the Captain.

He wasn't sure if he would chase after Blair again. He used to do it every time they broke up in the past, but this wasn't the case. They had broken up months earlier and it seemed as if the story on Blair's part was closed, but he wasn't so sure. Nate was her long time love and he knew how much she felt comforted in the secure arms of a loyal guy.

He wasn't like Nate and if he and Blair would ever got together for _real_, he wasn't sure that he would succeed in being loyal to a girl although he was successfully being monogamous in the game he was playing with Blair to get her throne back.

He wasn't aware of what he could do to achieve that if they weren't playing. Having a real shot with Blair surely scared him. He had to play on the safe side but he had to be in character so people wouldn't think they were just staging their relationship.

Speaking of relationships, the one he was having with Nate was really random. It was weird how he and Nate hadn't talked much during the holidays.

He had decided to leave for this coast to coast holiday on his grandfather's yacht, while he had decided to go to the Hamptons and then to Paris to look for Blair. The only time they saw each other was before he could leave again with his father.

He didn't know why they were so cold, as if they weren't the great friends they used to be.

This thing didn't bother him, although he wondered if he was distant because he wanted to spend time with his new girlfriend, or because something had changed in their relationship. He thought that he probably was at odds with him because of what happened between him and Blair a while before she left.

Perhaps he was jealous or he was just incapable to accept he had lost her to his now ex best friend, even for a game. He couldn't accept that Blair dumped him because they didn't have the chance to have sex.

Chuck was amused when Nate confessed this. He had apparently been the only one – he assumed – with whom Blair had sex. And he had tried to explain to Nate that Blair was a perfectionist. She wanted to have her first time in the perfect place and to be sure about it and that was the reason why she was waiting. Nate seemed to believe his words, and stopped asking him about it after a while.

Now that he and Blair were pretending to be in a fake relationship, he wasn't sure how his friend would react. They couldn't hide their game, it was all over Gossip Girl and people at school knew. He couldn't risk to lose his only true friend and he hoped he still didn't know.

Blair was waiting for him outside the school gate after the bell rang.

It was funny, for once, being monogamist for him. She made him promise he wouldn't have any meetings with girls in school. And by meetings, she meant both sex and random kisses. He could have sex only when he was at home or at places people would not know who he was. The plan couldn't be destroyed because he couldn't keep his bird in his pants.

He had agreed with that but he didn't confess her that after their little deal he wasn't meeting with any girl at any place, and that he felt he was fine being just with her.

He scratched his chin when he saw her perfect backside. It was evidenced by the tight skirt she was wearing that day, and it turned him on. He knew it was only a back, but it wasn't the back of a random girl. It was _her_ back. Blair was able to cause many feelings throughout his whole body, something that any girl he had been with in the past wasn't able to do.

He walked slowly and hoped she wouldn't turn before he got to her. When he reached her, he kissed her cheek sweetly and she finally shifted her body to face him. She smiled widely and he could tell that was a true smile and not a staged one. He smiled back and greeted her with a simple 'Hey'. They had to pretend they were a couple so she put both hands behind his neck and he reached for her lips to kiss her, something they were so good at.

He had waited for that moment for so long but he wouldn't tell her. It was actually the moment he expected the most every day since their staged relationship started. He didn't love that she only agreed they could kiss two times per day, but it was something at least although it wasn't enough for him. He thought he was going crazy because he just wanted to kiss her at that time, as if there wasn't anybody on his mind but her. As if other girls didn't exist.

It was a new sensation he had never felt before.

Not that he didn't look anymore at the other girls at school or elsewhere, but she was the only one that could stick in his mind for hours. Something was changing in him but he was ignoring it. He was trying to take the day with her as it went, almost slave of his hidden passions for her. And he would never admit anything. He knew it was temporary and he didn't want to delude himself thinking it could actually stick, that she would change his ways.

The whole thing looked scary from the outside because he thought it would never happen in his life that someone would have such impact on his life.

Their lips parted and they grow away from each other. Her arms were still on his neck and

he was smiling. Blair noticed it and reminded her of the smiles Nate used to do when they were together. She noticed the sweetness, but didn't want to deceive herself. She knew he was only playing a part, unfortunately.

"I thought that today we might -" Chuck started to say, but someone cut him off. He and Blair turned their heads to face a confused and angry Nate.

"Nate, we haven't seen each other for long" Chuck said with a cold tone to greet him.

He was livid, it was evident. "I see many things have changed while I was away."

"Nate, look -" Blair tried to explain, but then stopped.

In that moment they both wondered why they didn't tell him before. "Nathaniel, we were waiting to tell you this after school. You were unavailable before."

"Yeah" he answered with sarcasm, stepping back. He was ready to leave. He opened his arms and continued. "I can't believe you didn't tell me. I should have expected it from you" he pointed to Blair, then to Chuck. "You were in love with him" he sighed in anger while a little crowd of curious students started to grow around them. "I can't believe it" e repeated. "I can't believe my ex girlfriend and my best friend did this behind my back, and didn't have the decency to tell me! How long is this story going?"

"We only started dating two weeks ago, Nate. You can believe me, we wanted to tell you" Blair said, then she took Chuck's hand and she squeeze it. "But you weren't here, God knew where you were. How we were supposed to tell you?"

"They created phones for this. You could have given me a call, or texted!"

"You and her broke up a while ago" Chuck intervened. "Is not much of a big deal if we didn't tell you when all this started. You _weren't _together anymore."

Nate narrowed his eyes. "Not a big deal, Chuck?" he fumed. "I supposed you two were two of my closest friends, but I guess I was wrong. You're sick, and twisted. That's why you two deserve each other." He glared one last time at them before he walked away.

"Nate, wait!" Blair tried to call him but Nate had already got into his car and was taking off.

Chuck nor Blair couldn't add anything to justify themselves after Nate left. Chuck felt like he had trapped himself into his own sly games. He knew if he would talk with Nate in private, they could make up. He wasn't afraid of this, after all he and Blair were playing and he could just explain their little game to him. He was sure he would understand.

Hand in hand, they walked away towards his limo while a crowd of people still looked at them. Chuck felt like he didn't need to say anything to them, he enjoyed the audience and their fake relationship wanted the other students to witness their bond and their strength.

He helped Blair get in the limo and entered behind her, and then the vehicle took off.

Blair seemed deep in thought for all the trip to her home and he thought she was thinking about the confrontation that they just had with Nate. He was afraid that what he had told them could influence their fake relationship, and he didn't want to break up with her even if it wouldn't be a real break up. He was enjoying this situation too much.

"I think we should put an end to this poor play" she said when the car stopped in front of her building. She was looking straight in front of her, unable to talk by looking him in the eyes.

"We haven't got to the target yet" he objected.

Blair shook her head. "You have seen what happened with Nate, Chuck? This won't go anywhere. This wasn't supposed to go anywhere since it started."

"Maybe it will take more time to work" he tried to convince her.

"Bass" she turned and looked in his eyes. "We had this thing going on for two weeks and it didn't work. At all. We have just wasted time."

_It's not time wasted when we're together_, he wanted to say. But then decided it was too much. He didn't feel like exposing his feelings. "Everything needs its time, Blair. We just need to -"

"I'm done. I'm done playing your girlfriend. What do you think I didn't understand you set this up only because you wanted to have sex with me again? I'm not that stupid, Chuck."

"You can't deny you don't feel anything for me. And besides, it's not that. I just wanted to help you regain what you've lost because of your best friend."

She turned and glared at him. "I can't believe you're actually trying to trick me with these old lines. You're getting old. I won't fall again."

"I just need another week" he pleaded, ignoring her affirmation.

"Maybe I don't need it."

He sighed. "If you're ending this game because of Nate... he isn't worth it."

She glared again. "I'm ending this game because we both lost at it. I don't want to waste any more time playing with you."

"You didn't look like you were playing." He teased her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Goodbye, Bass." She said as she opened the door of the limo and went out while he remained there astonished. He wanted to think to a better plan to get closer to her again, but he decided it wasn't the time now. And of one thing he was sure. It wasn't time wasted with her.

….

After a hour she got back home from school, she couldn't stop thinking about Chuck and the way she _broke up_ with him. Even if it wasn't a real break up since they weren't together, she was starting to regret her decision. Why did she care so much? It was because Nate was back in town? She perhaps wanted to show him she moved on?

She didn't think a lot about him when she was in Paris. It was stupid to think she was falling again for him, because she wasn't. She hadn't felt anything when she saw him again.

All that she could think of was Chuck, and that Chuck was her daughter's father but she would never allow herself to fall for him. He would just remain Audrey's father and nothing more, despite he had totally replaced her ex in her thoughts and this scared her to death.

Chuck wouldn't be more than an old friend to her, she decided. She had to be careful and avoid him now more than ever. She couldn't fall for him. She couldn't pretend that they would really become a couple and they would take care of their daughter together. It simply would never happen because he wasn't the type for that kind of relationship.

She had enjoyed those two weeks they pretended to be together but what if he only did it because he was playing a part? She didn't know where Chuck's acting ended and Chuck's true self started. It was a riddle for her and the fact that he was mysterious didn't help.

Most of the things he did while they pretended they were a couple were so out of character for Chuck Bass, and that confused her.

"Mr. Nate downstairs, Miss Blair. He wants talk, he said. Told him wait in the living room." Dorota said, interrupting her thoughts. She had tried to distract by focusing on Audrey.

Blair was surprised. She shook her head and looked at her daughter. The baby was still sucking, so she had to remove her carefully to fix her blue shirt. Once she did it, she passed the baby to Dorota. "I suggest you to close the door, Dorota." She warned her before going downstairs. "Last time someone heard the baby crying."

….

Nate. _What did Nate want?_ Blair went downstairs to check. She tried to wear a neutral expression when she saw him there, sitting on couch of the living room. She couldn't help but smile at him. It was only a courtesy smile, though. She didn't feel to smile sincerely.

"Nate, hi" she said trying to have a normal tone. "What are you doing here?"

Nate stood up from the couch and reached her. He was smiling too. He put a hand on her hip and she was more surprised. She frowned and waited for him to talk.

"Blair, listen. I'm sorry for my reaction when we were at school. But you understand me if I tell you I didn't expect it."

"We are not together anymore." She said with a sad voice to arrive to the point. She wasn't sure why she let it out so abruptly.

"What?" he asked in disbelief while she tried to invent something to justify her statement.

"Things didn't work between us and what you said earlier made me realize that I needed to put an end to our story" she explained soon.

"I bet he – he cheated on you?" he assumed, knowing Chuck.

Blair shook her head fast, "It's not... Chuck didn't do anything. It's me. I decided to break up with him. Things weren't going as I planned" she lied.

Nate stroked her arm lightly. "I'm sorry then. Maybe it wasn't the case for you to be with him. You know what they say, some people just can't work out together."

"Maybe" she shrugged. There wasn't a real reason behind it.

In that instant, when he was looking at her with his deep blue eyes, she felt as if things could be fixed somehow. Not between her and Chuck and their fake relationship, but between her and Nate. She still wasn't experiencing the same feelings she had felt with him months before, but she couldn't say that their flame was extinguished for good.

She hated being so damn insure about feelings, but she decided that the distance between them had probably caused that.

"Look, Blair. There was a reason why I came here today."

"You wanted to yell at me in private because I slept with your best friend?" she joked, and they both laughed although it wasn't something to laugh on.

"Not exactly. I was furious today and I apologized. I just wanted to tell you that no matter what, you would always be a friend to me. I could never be mad at you and I wanted to say that even if I don't really am happy with it, I approve you are with Chuck." He shrugged. "I mean, that you were" he chuckled. "I'm sorry for how it turned out."

She managed a smile. "It's okay, not your fault. And thanks for your approbation, Nate. If we ever... get back together, I will remember it."

"Great. Well, now huh, I should go. I need to go home. We'll meet at school."

She nodded. "Thanks for the visit, Nate."

Her ex boyfriend smiled for one last time before he turned his back and left her house. There had been something strange about their conversation. She realized that was the very first time after they had broken up where she was confronting him about being with another guy, although not for real. She never thought it would happen.

She had always imagined her life to be with Nate. She never thought they would broke up because she would get pregnant of another guy, let alone his old time best friend. And even then, she thought they would eventually get back together once she would return home.

But being in a fake relationship with Chuck had changed everything. She had a baby now and although Nate looked like the best daddy option, he wasn't Audrey's father.

She would have to live with it. She would never get her queendom back at the current state.

...

Another month passed.

Chuck started to go to school less and less. After the break up with Blair, he decided that he would try to see her only when he had to. It felt weird, really weird that he was acting just like an ex boyfriend who couldn't accept the fact that he had been dumped would. He was acting just like Nate used to when he and Blair had their pauses. He couldn't understand it.

To Blair, his behavior was expected. She thought he was just trying to act offended since they weren't together for joke anymore. It was part of the game after all. She wouldn't think that he was actually hurt that he couldn't kiss her or be with her without being accused of spending

time with her just to have sex.

Lately she was making lots of paranoias in her mind about him. She always analyzed the way he looked at her, for example. She decided his eyes were lusting after her for sure, but not only that. A bit of that spark she saw when they used to be _together _was still there. She was trying to decipher him so badly, and hope he would give her sign to doubt those changes, but he rarely did and it confused her so much.

She was bored that he was giving her chances to doubt her choice of ending that game, but she was more bored was Chuck's father.

He had kept his promise to give Blair and the baby money, and few days after she and Chuck _broke up_, she received a big teddy bear with a big pink bow on it with a letter attached.

_As promised, I've decided to transfer this amount of money on your count. _

_Hope you'll like the gift too. _

_Bart Bass_

When she saw the gift and the card, she sneered. Bart Bass giving gifts to her daughter, what a funny and nice thing. It was out of character for her idea of him, but Audrey was still his niece after all. It always felt strange for her to know that Bart knew and Chuck didn't.

Sometimes, when she was alone in her room trying to sleep, she thought about the possibility of telling Chuck everything. Be honest and tell him the truth didn't sound bad. He had the right to know. It wasn't that he hadn't helped to create the baby. She didn't like to lie, but she couldn't figure out what Chuck's reaction would be, and this blocked her.

After a whole month of thinking about it, she reached two conclusions. One was the same she had thought after they started their fake relationship. She thought that he would run away without telling anybody and he would come back months later that nothing happened. The other small hope that she thought of was that he would take his responsibilities or at least give up on the baby as a father so that he wouldn't have to worry about anything.

He could still surprise her, but she wasn't putting too much of her optimism in it. She would still avoid to tell him the truth for the moment. And she decided to keep her expectations low in a case she would decide to confess him everything.

They had to do some tests at school again, and she decided that would be one of her priorities for the moment. They had to take those tests to confirm their level so they could get in the University of their dreams. Blair still wanted to get into Yale, of course, and it seemed to her that her efforts were giving her some results.

Her baby occupied most of the time of her days, but she managed to study what she had to and be successful the same way she was before she left for France.

Every thing at school was perfect minus the minions situation. After few weeks Serena had given up. This would be a good news if she hadn't left the group to Penelope.

As expected, she had tried to reconcile with Blair after she abandoned the throne. She had tried to ask her even the silliest things to talk for a while like old times. What time was it or what class she had next. She had even asked about her baby and she had shushed her because she didn't want to mention Audrey at school. But Blair still acted cold towards her.

She thought that she had forgiven her but she was too proud to go and talk to her and fix things. But she needed a friend so badly right now, and Serena was her true friend. She wasn't like her minions. She hoped she would do the first step again.

"Hey, Blair" Nate asked her while she was lost in her thoughts. "How are things going today?"

"Great, thanks" she tried to convince him of the lie.

"You're the person I was looking for, you know?"

"You were looking for me?" she made a face and worried. What did he want?

"Yeah. I've noticed that lately you are by yourself a lot... I wondered if things were alright. Did something happen with Serena?"

Where did he live, under a rock? It had been a while since she and Serena had argued and the whole school knew what she had done to her. Perhaps he didn't know because he was still away with his father.

"She stole my place as queen, Nate. I thought she was my best friend but maybe she's not. Best friends don't do that to best friends. They don't take what's important to their friends."

"I know what you mean" he looked around and smiled. She thought he was thinking about him and Chuck too. "We're on the same boat, you see. But I'm sure Serena was only trying to keep the place for you, knowing your minions and their greed."

Blair put a a hand on her hip. "It's the same excuse she used, but I don't believe her. And if I recall you did something similar with your _best friend_ too" she raised an eyebrow.

Nate shook his head. "That was different, Blair. He... look, we don't have to talk about Chuck and Serena now. I was looking for you to talk about _us_."

"_Us_? What do you mean by us?"

He cut her off and took her arm. "I see you're suffering for the lack of Serena, Blair. I just want to help because I feel the same. I've never accepted the way we broke up and I want to show you I can do _that_" he said and she knew what he meant. "I'm still in love with you."

Blair bit her lip. That wasn't something she clearly expected to hear. "I think you're running too fast, Nate. Didn't you have a girlfriend?"

"I did. We broke up before I left for the coast to coast trip with my father. I'm free now. And you are free too. I just want to help" he repeated.

"Nate, I... I don't know what to think of this. I still need time to recover from my last story" she lied. Although one month had passed, she could still pretend she suffered.

"Was Chuck really important for you?"

She sighed, not knowing what to answer. "Yes, he was."

"I see" he looked disappointed by her answer. "I'm so sorry for asking, by the way. I shouldn't had. It feels as if we're rushing things."

She shrugged. "Don't worry."

He nodded. "Alright. It was nice meeting you, Blair."

Nate walked away the same way he arrived, leaving her there and puzzled. She so hated when people put her in front of choices. She had thought for long about Nate and his possible help to get her minions back, but she couldn't think that he... she should take time to make a decision and she should stick to that. Maybe her past love for him would get back too.

Maybe the fact that he went there asking her to come back together was a sign that they had to be a couple again so her dreams would have the possibility to come true once and for all? She hadn't thought about him a lot, but being with him was the easiest thing the world was offering. It could be the solution to many things.

She didn't think twice and she run off after Nate. He had turned left where the courtyard was. When she caught him by the arm, she directly told him what she had decided.

"Yes. Yes!" She smiled widely.

Nate turned abruptly and looked confused. "What?"

"Yes. I'd love to get back with you." She didn't let him answer that she kissed his lips briefly.

Nate still was confused and he managed a smile. "Would you walk with me?"

She nodded and took her hand, then they left the courtyard together as the crowd watched them in awe and surprise.

She had decided what was the best for her, or seemed the best for her. Nate hadn't been the best boyfriend in the world since he cheated on her once with Serena, but he was a good guy. He still was the guy she dreamed of in her reveries about her perfect future life.

She had tried to convince herself that even if they hadn't seen each other for months and she didn't think about him like she had thought about Chuck when she was in Paris, some of their _love_ was still there. She only needed to kiss him again to feel the sensation. She hoped that was the right way. It had to be, because she was drowning. It was the last chance.

When they walked together, she relived their kiss shared few minutes before and she thought it was sweet as ever. She compared it with her kisses with Chuck, that were wild and passionate. She didn't have to compare them, she thought. They were two different people and kissed differently.

Somehow her kiss with Nate hadn't been too much. Love could still be there in the deep, but she had to try and stop thinking about Chuck in the wrong moments if she really wanted it to resurface.

...

The news spread in no time. That evening all the Upper East Side knew she and Nate got back together. Everyone. But Blair didn't care, this was what she wanted. This had to be the right way to get back on her throne too. She noticed people were more amused about this reunion than when she and Chuck played _boyfriend-girlfriend_ game, so it was probably working this time, she had been right that Nate was the right person.

Chuck hadn't been and would never be the _right_ one. Even for joke. Never. He simply wasn't tailored to be a boyfriend.

She was sipping a Martini at the bar of the Palace hotel that night. She left Audrey with Dorota to have a ladies night or something with Serena.

Her best friend had called her and asked if they wanted to meet. She confessed she had read the news of her rekindled romance with Nate and wanted to talk about it with her friend – Blair was surprised she didn't use best – while having a drink. The usual, no big deal, it even looked like they never argued the month before.

She was happy about that, maybe that day was the day of their reunion?

She turned right and spotted Serena. She was almost choking on her Martini because she saw Chuck behind her. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to give him explanations if he would have the chance to tell her something. She felt her heart spinning faster when she noticed him and this wasn't a good sign.

They were enjoying themselves, Blair noticed. They were both laughing at something and it amused Blair because she thought they hated each other. In that moment they really looked like step-brother and step-sister, a real family with a powerful bond.

Chuck turned and spotted her and his smile toned down, as if he was suddenly captured by something more important than the pun he was probably telling Serena.

Blair instantly focused on her drink, pretending she wasn't watching in his direction. She ordered herself not to look at him at all. His stares made her feel uncomfortable.

"Blair, I'm glad you came" Serena called from behind her. Blair turned again and tried to smile. She spotted Chuck few feet behind her blonde friend, and she could not help but glance swiftly at him. She hoped he didn't catch her this time but she hoped in vain.

She sneered when their eyes met, and she shifted her body to Serena again. "I had to come, Serena. At least to hear what you wanted to say" she answered coldly.

Serena sighed, then put a hand on her shoulder. Then, before adding more, she turned to her step-brother. "Chuck, I'll be at home before one. Tell mom about that thing, right?"

Chuck nodded. "I will. Have a good night" he greeted them, then he walked away.

He didn't walk away just like that, though. Blair noticed his glance towards her. It was the same as few minutes before, and she felt it screamed _I want you_, but she didn't know in which sense. Possibly he lusted after her as usual. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

"Blair, I'm sorry" Serena started to say then when Blair continued sipping her drink. "I wanted to tell you, but you didn't make me finish the last time..."

"I didn't make you finish because it was obvious that you were trying to tell me a lie." Blair said with sarcasm. She never forgot the words Serena told her weeks before. She wasn't sure yet if her friend was lying or not at that moment.

"But Blair, I was really doing what I told you. I wanted you to have the perfect come back. I know your minions, and I knew Penelope was going to take your place when you would have left, and I wanted to keep that place for you. I was going to give it back."

Blair sighed, not sure if believe her or not. "Then why didn't you tell it when you first saw me? You took a lot of time."

"I wanted to but things were messy, and I had to deal with Dan too. I wanted to tell you when we would go out again, but Chuck ruined everything."

"He always ruins everything, I know" she sighed.

"I need my best friend back, Blair. I really do. I'm sorry."

Blair sighed again and then hugged her. "So do I" she whispered quietly. A smile appeared on her face when she said the words. She couldn't keep her cold face on anymore.

They parted and Serena smiled back at her. She really looked happy like her, and she thought she judged her friend badly. She really meant the words she told her while ago and her diffidence clouded her judgment. She had missed her best friend so much.

….

After getting back with Nate and making up with Serena, Blair felt happy again. It was as if everything was right on track again and it could go even better. She was turning eighteen in a few hours, and of course she threw a big party at the Waldorf's to celebrate it. She couldn't really wait.

She woke up with that exciting thought that sunny morning, but it wasn't the only thing she was thinking about.

Exactly one year before she and Chuck had conceived _their_ daughter Audrey at her seventeenth birthday party. What a friendly reminder it was. She surely wouldn't forget it for the rest of her life, thanks to that mother-chucker. Bad_ memories_, she thought. _But that sex with him was the best of my life. Although sex with him ruined my life a bit._

She shook her head, she had to remove his image from her mind and move on. It was her birthday, her day. Chuck couldn't ruin that too although he did it once and she was living every day with the living proof of their mistakes.

She got off her bed and looked into the crib after she heard Audrey suddenly crying out loud. She picked her up and rocked her, and the little baby girl stopped after a while.

Blair was grateful her child calmed down when she was in her arms. She goggled that many mothers didn't get much sleep at night because their children were so noisy and didn't calm down even after hours and after they breastfed them. Neither their mother's warmth could warm them. At least Audrey was pretty quiet when her mother was holding her.

While rocking the baby she looked at the big clock on the wall. It was past nine in the morning, and she remembered she had to do some errands before the big party. She would go to the jewelery to give the list of the things she wanted, and then she would pick up the dress she would wear that night.

She hoped someone would buy her some high-priced jewel like happened the year before, but she wasn't sure. Nate wasn't a jewelery kind of type, and she was sure that he would not give her a jewel but she was hopeful he would. She really wanted a diamond from him.

She put the baby in the crib again, and she got dressed. She dressed Audrey too and changed her diaper. Dorota got in a while later to pick up some dirty laundry. "Dorota, dress up."

"Miss Blair, are we going out?"

"Yes, we are. We have to go the jewelery, have you forgot? And we'll take the baby with us."

Dorota made an unsure face. "But Miss Blair baby isn't -"

"You got me, Dorota. Audrey is coming with us." She raised both eyebrows "my _cousin_ Audrey wants and needs a bit of fresh air. You understand?"

"But it's not healthy... If they find out -" she murmured with fear.

"I need you to bring her bag and put some really warm coat on. I don't want her to catch a cold."

….

One hour later the little Audrey Waldorf-Bass went out for the first time in her life in the New York pollution. It was weird for Blair taking her out since she had promised she would keep her at home, but the baby needed to see the sun and breath some clean air.

Dorota was pushing the pink stroller while Blair was walking beside her. She was wearing her black sunglasses to protect her identity, she didn't want anybody to cross paths with them and start asking who that kid in the stroller was.

….

She didn't invite him, he expected this. But he wouldn't give up so easily. He still wanted to go to Blair's party with one of the best gifts he could ever find, just to let her know materially that he loved spending time with her. No matter he was the ex boyfriend for other people, he had the right to be invited as a friend. He still was her best friend's stepbrother after all.

That was the first time he wanted to show his liking to anyone. It was weird for him, all of this. He wondered if it would ever fade someday. He was getting afraid as the days passed because he didn't know what was going on, but he neither wanted to find out.

He knew it was impossible that all the passion he was feeling would disappear at that point. It was just too big to fade in a second or a few weeks. He didn't know how to handle it. It was an unknown feeling for him. It was knew.

He decided to go to the jewelery Blair used to bring her list. He would try to make a peace treaty with her or something so that they would still be friends or whatever they were.

It was almost eleven o' clock, she must bring the list there. He was ready to go out of his limo when something caught his eyes.

He spotted Blair. She was walking with Dorota, and Dorota was pushing... a pink stroller?

He tried to see better but he was too far from the girls to see clearly. He remembered Blair came back from Paris with the same pink stroller, he saw the pics on the Gossip Girl website. Still, at that time the site was vague, they didn't know if it was a joke or not. Maybe it was just empty and Blair took it with her to make the site talking about her again?

This sounded so like Blair Waldorf, but why did she carry the stroller?

He waited until the couple got in and then exited the jewelery so he could follow them with his limo. He ordered Arthur to be silent, they shouldn't risk Blair would see the vehicle. The limo followed them not for so long, the girl stopped after a while when another black car parked near them, making them turn abruptly

Chuck thought it was someone from school, or maybe Nate that was just passing there and wanted to give his girlfriend a ride, but it wasn't him who got out of the car. Chuck's mouth dropped open when he saw his father going out.

He couldn't read lips because he was turned to Blair and Dorota and he was too far from him, so he just tried to study expressions on Blair's face. She looked really neutral, nor happy or angry. Dorota instead looked alarmed for nothing.

Well, Dorota always looked alarmed when she was afraid for Blair, Chuck thought that there must have been something she had to do with Bart, or maybe Bart wanted something from her. Maybe he was just greeting them, but it was weird. Why stop? It would be normal to greet them if he was walking on the sidewalk instead of being in his car.

This new mystery haunted him, and he was just too curious not to look for answers. He waited until Bart got in his car again to come back to the jewelery. He now had a new reason to go to the party without being invited. What had Blair and his father to do?

...

He went out of his limo fierce as ever. He was terribly late, but why care when he wasn't even invited? In one of his hands he carried a little shopping bag with Blair's gift in it.

This year he surpassed himself. He didn't only buy one of the most expensive gifts Blair requested, but even other things to accompany the perfect piece. The Erickson Beamon necklace was nothing compared to that. He spent a lot of money for it, but he felt he had to show her something, and he knew Blair's weakness was jewelery.

Those would be gifts to beg for forgiveness and to try to talk again like before their false break-up. He also hoped she might confess why she had met his father.

He got in Blair's house with a big smile on his face. Most of the guys at their school were there. He spotted Serena talking with Humphrey – he didn't know how the two got back together after the whole Georgina situation – and Blair's minions in a corner, surely gossiping about someone. Blair should thank him for what he did for her about that matter. She didn't know Chuck pleaded the minions with Serena so they would open their arms again to Blair.

He took his coat off and started looking for Blair into the crowd of people that were dancing or having a drink. He finally spotted her near one of the couches of her house. She was wearing a yellow dress, strapless on a shoulder, and had a sparkly headband on. She looked hotter than ever, he thought.

Her vision made him feel weird. He felt his stomach empty again, and he blamed it on the fact that he hadn't eaten that afternoon. He didn't want to admit it was because of other things he wasn't capable of thinking of yet. Maybe it was a mistake going there. He didn't want to feel like this when he was with her, because he knew he couldn't fake all for long. Not to himself nor to her. He knew that it wouldn't be long before he could keep his feelings for him.

She noticed him and made a face. "I thought I didn't invite you" she said as she walked to him. Her tone was sour. She crossed her arms waiting for an answer.

"The door wasn't locked" he smiled crookedly.

"Well next time I'll hire bouncers" she answered him. She then turned right, caught by something else for a second. "Don't ruin my party, Bass."

"Why should I? I only came to drink and have fun, and maybe... meet new girls."

Blair rolled her eyes. "You're so creepy" she commented and turned again to leave. "Don't you dare to cross my path in the next three hours."

….

It was really strange that Nate hadn't showed up yet. It was almost midnight and as a tradition, Blair wanted to blow the candles with him next to her. But like the year before it seemed as if Nate cared to be at Blair's party. It was adverse destiny? Because history could repeat, but for the same occasion was a bit weird. She wouldn't get pregnant again and with the wrong guy.

Dorota decided to bring the big cake in the living room and put it on a white table. Blair, Serena and few friends went around it to wait for the clock to tick midnight.

Blair looked sad, but she tried to mask it. Chuck was worried for her, but at the same time happy because like the year before he hoped to _comfort_ her in some way. This Nate lacking was only good for him.

When the clock ticked midnight, Blair blow her candles in no time and faked a smile, then tried to confound into the crowd and rushed into a room near the kitchen.

Chuck thought it was time for him to move, so he followed her. Nobody noticed him.

The door was closed. He opened it slowly and sneaked in. She was near the window checking her blackberry. She turned when the door slammed behind her. Her expression changed, but it wasn't unfriendly. She was more bored.

"I thought I had been clear earlier."

"Maybe I didn't listen."

"I'm not in the mood to play, Chuck. Go away." She pleaded, turning again.

Chuck walked towards her. "You're not in the mood for anything. Nate didn't come and you're down." He said with a diffident tone.

"I don't know what are you talking about."

"I'm here, though" he continued, taking a box from behind his back. He took it from the coat before Dorota took the cake into the living room. "And I could make you happy."

Blair turned and made a face. "Sorry to disagree with you, but I think -" She stopped.

Chuck gave her her gift, all packed in red silk. He was smirking. She sighed, not wanting to open it, but giving in after the curiosity got the best of her.

Her mouth dropped open when she saw the beautiful diamond necklace in the box. She didn't have words. Chuck had to think she wasn't that touched by his gift, even if it wasn't the truth. She hoped someone would give it to her, but not him. But she knew he was possibly the only one that could have bought it.

"You shouldn't have bought this in order to trick me again." She said, trying to look disappointed by the gesture. It was really difficult to fake. "Is not gonna work."

Chuck frowned but didn't talk. He took the necklace from the box and made her wear it without her agreement. He placed it on her neck and made her turn to button it up. His hand was so close to her body to take it away, so he left it there, waiting for her to remove it. Her response was fast. She put her hand on his and slapped it away.

"I'm sorry" he whispered behind her ear. "I haven't thought this was going to happen again."

"Nothing is happening" she murmured, almost silent. "He texted me, he's just late."

Chuck sighed loudly. "What if he's not? What if he's telling lies?"

Blair brutally turned to face him. "Sure, you know that because you know everything, don't you? In the end, you'll find out you really don't know anything, Chuck."

"And if I'm right, instead? Do I get a gift too?" he demanded.

"It's my birthday, not yours."

"Maybe I could give you a extra gift, then." He said, raising an eyebrow. He started to get closer to her, indifferent to the fact that she was already glaring at him.

She didn't respond to his provocation, maybe she was going to play his game? Maybe yeah, she was going to give herself to him that night. He wanted her so bad, and he wanted to find out her secrets too. He was close to the truth.

He licked his lips, then he reached her lips. She was afraid in that moment, but she knew she wouldn't retract when his lips would reach hers. His eyes were so charming and looked so sweet that night, she simply couldn't resist.

He was about to touch her when they heard a noise from behind them. Someone slammed the door hard and they both turned to face an angry Nate. He wasn't happy to see them together.

Blair rushed into his arms and he hugged her. "Nate! I knew you would come."

Chuck remained still. His expression was a mix of rage and disappointment. He didn't like what he was seeing. The plans for the night were surely canceled.

"I think I arrived just in time."

"What? Nate, sweetie, we weren't doing anything. Don't be paranoid."

Nate frowned. He swiftly glanced at Chuck, then Blair again. He looked confused. "Chuck was going home, weren't you Chuck?"

Chuck raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "Yeah, I was." He walked towards the door and then went out of the room, but not before whispering something in her hear that she caught as "Keep lying to yourself". Blair sighed in anger, while Nate looked serious at her.

"Blair... what's going on? We should tell each if there's something wrong. No lies anymore."

"Nate, sweetie. Really is nothing." She smiled sweetly and fixed his shirt. She didn't know what to add anymore, she was just pretending nothing had happened five minutes before with Chuck, that he wasn't going to kiss her.

"We won't need to have more secrets in the future."

"What do you mean?"

Nate sighed and put his hand into his jacket to take out a little velvet box. He opened it swiftly, and asked what she was feeling he was going to ask. "I want you to be my wife, Blair."

Blair got worried. She didn't know what to say. Surely she wouldn't think he was going to give her a ring, his family's old ring, and that night. It was just too early, and she had too secrets to keep for a wedding, even if that was the secret dream of her life.

"I..." she started, trying to figure out what to answer "I do" she shouted, more to convince herself. She wasn't really happy he proposed. She tried to tell herself that was destiny knocking on her door. That it was fate that wanted them together for life, that was a sign and everything. Although she wasn't excited at least one bit.

...

He couldn't believe his ears when few days after Blair's party he found out something that could help him with her. He was concerned about Blair's situation. He knew about the ring, he heard Bart and Lily talking to each other about that, and he was trying to find a solution to show Blair it was just a plan, that Nate was just a pawn in the hands of his not so rich anymore parents. He had to save Blair from this, and he wanted to do it so bad.

Few days after Blair's party, he decided to go somewhere to drink, just to cool off his mind. He had to find a distraction, ideas, random things to do to have fun. Above all, he had to distract from Blair and the influence she was having on him. So he went to a newly opened club where they served innovative drinks which he liked to experiment.

As if it wasn't enough, while he was sitting at a table drinking some mix and enjoying some strippers on the stage, he spotted two people he was sure he had known since forever.

Nate was kissing a girl, the blonde Jenny Humphrey. It was clear they were enjoying each other, but _what about Blair?_ Chuck thought. He didn't want to go near them to ruin their party because Nate would try to fool Blair or better hide his date with Jenny, so he had to be sly. He didn't care for Nate, not at all. But it wasn't just for Blair. He just wanted to have fun and make those two break up again.

He took some pictures and sent them to Gossip Girl. His phone went off after few minutes, when he was already out of the club. He surely didn't want Nate or Jenny to spot him, but this didn't change a thing.

Despite the amount of blasts Gossip Girl posted of Nate and his blond companion, Blair didn't move a finger. She looked untouched, in denial. As if all the pics people were sending to GG weren't true. Chuck was angry. He thought she deserved better than his ex best friend who was cheating on her every day with one of her enemies. He did get to see the couple of cheaters many times in different places, and they were always making out.

This didn't help Blair to reason, and even if Chuck spotted her and Nate arguing, it seemed like Blair always forgave her boyfriend.

Why would Blair be with someone who was betraying her? This must have been some of Blair's plans, he supposed. Marry Nate and be happy forever with him. There must have been something he could do to stop them, to stop her from getting hurt.

"Haven't you heard? The Captain said Blair is gonna marry his son. I wonder why."

Chuck quietly got into his penthouse, and heard his father's voice. He was surely talking to Lily, and his voice wasn't really happy. He wondered if there was something more behind that awkward situation. He was grateful he got home just in time to hear that talk.

"True. They're too young" Lily murmured. "I wouldn't approve if Serena asked me. But obviously, they love each other, I believe."

"No, I don't think that's the matter, really." Chuck spotted the wavering expression his father was wearing, and he didn't like it. It smelled danger to him. "I know the Captain's business is in high waters. Today Stan was talking about it at the board. The Vanderbilts don't want to help him, so they found an escamotage. A classic."

"Do they really want Nathaniel to marry Blair for her money?"

"They just want to save their family... It's for the best."

Lily seemed skeptical about the confession. "I'd probably do it if I were in their shoes."

Chuck thought he had listened too much then. He knew what Lily did for her family before meeting his father, and he knew it was common business to do in this world. But he didn't want Blair to be subjected to this. It would ruin her life. She would have her dream with Nate, but it would be fake since Nate was still meeting with the little Humphrey. He was sure he didn't love Blair anymore.

He tightened his fist, and then took the limo. He had to save her from his ex best friend if he had to. Not only because of the fake engagement, but because he was being a cheater. He cared too much for her to let her marry with someone who didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve her either, but that was another story.

He went straight to the Waldorfs, uncaring of what Blair's reaction would be.

The elevator's door opened but nobody came to greet him. He decided to find Blair himself, he knew she was there and he was right. He heard her distinct voice when he got in the foyer and he thought there was somebody else with her. He heard another voice, a voice of a kid. He assumed it was coming from the dining room because he heard some TV noises. A cartoon, probably. He got in the room without announcing himself, and started at the scenario he found for a good ten seconds. It was unbelievable.

"Blair Waldorf playing with a baby. Is that for a science project?" Blair jolted in her seat when she heard his voice. She tried to hide the baby in her arms, she looked so protective. Chuck stepped towards the couch, but didn't dare to get too close.

"You're not welcomed here." Her voice was trembling when she said that. He thought she was trying to appear sure of herself like she never was, but she failed miserably. She looked more scared in that moment.

"I didn't hear any of that last time we talked. And I don't have a restraining order, so..." He tried to smile but she was still serious and he could read fear in her eyes. She didn't reply back to his affirmation, so he continued his speech. "The business of the Captain is in danger. Nobody wants to help him, neither the Vanderbilts."

Blair frowned, but tried not to look angry. She tried to hide the baby more, as if she was shielding her from him. "Nate told me."

"He did? That's thoughtful of him. He told you this before he even told you about Jenny Humphrey? I'm impressed."

Blair sighed. He knew every time how to move her. "Nate is not seeing anybody but me. When are going to get it? The Jenny story got old."

"It didn't, unfortunately. Gossip Girl still talks about it, don't you know. You haven't checked?"

"I don't believe it. You wasted a limo ride." She then locked eyes with him. It was a never ending moment, and she totally hated it. Why wasn't he talking? Their silences were always full of tension, and it wasn't good for the baby.

The baby started to cry soon. Blair looked down and moved a little to calm her. "Go away, Chuck. You're grossing out the baby!" She shouted, and held the baby tighter. Chuck didn't move at all, but then decided it was better if he left.

The baby stopped crying after Chuck left. Blair thought that it was probably the proof that Chuck wouldn't be a good father. They would only argue. This wasn't the family she had dreamed about in her dreams, and it was his fault if her life was ruined forever.

For the first time she cried her eyes out that night.


	10. The Truth

I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, but I couldn't proofread everything. I hope you like the update, I made it too long to forgive my slow update with this story.

….

Two weeks fled. Blair had been very anxious Chuck could have spread the news at school after he had seen the baby, but he didn't, which surprised her a lot. She thought maybe he had seen the desperation in her eyes after he had caught her with her daughter.

One thing for sure, though. He really seemed like he wanted her to break up with Nate, the same guy she was still engaged with and happily despite the rumors about him and Jenny.

Speaking of him, his pictures with that blonde panda on Gossip Girl's website were less and less everyday but they never stopped coming out. Every three or four days, somebody would release one where the duo was in different places and situations. Even if Blair tried hard to avoid to see them, she felt like a joke. And she felt betrayed.

Giving that Nate was often vague on the phone and when they went out together, she was starting to think that she had to stop this somehow. She couldn't let others offend her anymore because she knew that people were talking.

What Blair needed, was only for her fiancé to be free that Saturday. The Christmas ball would be held at some cool place and all the seniors were all expected to be there. Especially she and Nate, the couple the whole school only talked about nowadays.

She wanted everything to go smoothly. She and Nate would arrive together at the ball and everyone would have to be amazed by how good they looked together. They also had to prove people that Nate wasn't having an affair behind Blair's back despite the sightings.

Blair went to school that day with the brightest mood. She wanted to ask her boyfriend to come to the ball with her since she hadn't had the occasion yet. She knew he would say yes, but she wanted to hear it from his lips.

Because of this reason, she went to look for him when her last class finished, but she could not find him. This made her edgy and anxious, but she told herself that she had to trust Nate if she wanted this to work.

"Free for five minutes?" she was startled when she saw Chuck approaching, she had just sat down with her minions to have lunch.

"What do you want, Bass?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Just – exchange two words with you."

Blair rolled her eyes when she looked at him, while the other girls – Chuck noted that Jenny in particular wasn't there – laughed like the stupid girls they were.

"Can we get inside?" he added, trying to let the minions know that he didn't want people that would eavesdrop.

She sighed. "Let it be just two words" she answered, annoyed by his request. She stood up leaving her spot in the courtyard and she followed him inside. Blair didn't know what he was going to tell her, she was a little curious. "Don't tell me you just brought me here... I'm not that stupid, Chuck."

"But you still came" he teased her, looking smug.

Blair crossed her arms and wrinkled her nose. "You had to tell me something. Say it."

"Have you read Gossip Girl?"

She smiled. "Are you kidding, right? I shouldn't had come" she gestured to leave, but he was quick to take her arm to stop her.

"Yes or no?" he asked again.

"Yes. Why?"

"It's all true. And you know it."

Blair stared at the floor for a sec, then she glared at him. She was full of hate. "Chuck. I think you failed to comprehend few weeks ago. It's not like this that you're going to make me break up with Nate. Me and him, we love each other. He would never betray me."

He took his phone from his pocket and he looked for the last picture of the folder.

"I've hired a P.I. to follow the two lovers all around the cheap clubs they went to. It's all real."

She looked petrified, but she was good at hiding it. "It's Photoshopped." She went to the door again, but he blocked her again.

"It's evident, Blair. Why aren't you getting it?"

"No, it is not, Chuck! This is another of your dirty plans to bribe me to take me to your bed! Have you spent weeks to find the look-a-likes?"

He really loathed when she couldn't see reality. "A perfect world doesn't exist. When are you going to get it?"

"No, your perfect world doesn't exist. Mine does!" she raised her voice a little.

"He's betraying you, Blair."

She freed herself from his grasp. "No! Nate is loyal, trustworthy. Not comparable to you. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find him." She said, then left him there in wonder.

Chuck just sighed and then walked away. He would try to show her more proofs because he didn't love that his ex best friend was deluding her for this whole time.

…

He had spent the whole afternoon trying to think something to do to make Blair realize. He had come to the conclusion that only Serena could open her eyes. They had been living for a while under the same roof, and his new stepsister seemed to almost consider him as a brother. That surprised him, but he was happy that they looked like a family.

He knocked on Serena's bedroom around lunch time, hoping to get her help.

"Hello, Chuck. Are you lost?" she greeted him, joking.

He laughed. "I need a favor."

Serena frowned and sat down on the edge of her bed. "What is this time?"

"Are you busy tonight?" he asked casually.

Serena gave him one of those _are you kidding me_, smiles. "Chuck, I don't think it's -"

"Sis. I'm flattered that you quickly thought of this, but actually, I wanted to ask you something else."

"Ah. Don't tell me it's about Blair." He stared at her knowingly and she got it. "Don't tell me that you want us to do something disgusting so that she..."

He interrupted her by raising a finger. "No. I just want you to go out with her tonight."

Serena giggled. "Just that? Well, I can accept that as a 'favor'. But why?"

"You're aware that Nate is seeing that little Humphrey."

She looked down briefly and sighed. "Sadly I know. And I even seen them but I didn't dare to get closer to talk to them."

"I know where they're going tonight."

"So you want me and Blair to go there? Chuck, you're aware this will break her heart."

He got serious. "Nate kissing Jenny all over Gossip Girl already broke her heart, she won't just admit it. This will benefit her. You know how much she hates a cheater."

Yes, of course she knew. "Aren't you jealous... of Nate?"

He looked away. "Me? Jealous? Don't make me laugh" he lied, and he thought she knew it. "I'm rather sad Nathaniel is betraying her with her cheap look-alike from Brooklyn."

"Let's pretend I believe this" she smiled. "I'm sorry about this too."

Chuck nodded and then turned towards the window. It seemed as if she thought that he had nothing more to say to him, but she knew maybe he was just thinking about things.

"Chuck" he called him to make him turn. "You haven't told me everything. Have you? I know you wouldn't just want them to break up because it pleases you. Oh, wait. You totally would."

He turned and looked at her with a blank face. He was a little lost in his own thoughts. "I've heard something."

"Is it serious?"

"The Captain's business failed around two weeks ago – even though the news hasn't been broken yet to the press. I've heard Bart talking about it and other sources confirmed it."

"Oh my gosh, that's terrible."

"Yes, it is. For Blair." He said coldly, thinking about Nate and what was he doing to her.

"Explain better." Serena demanded.

"Serena, don't you get it? Nate just wants to marry Blair for the money. If they get married, his parents' honor won't go in flames and she can be able to help him and his family."

She looked perplexed. "This looks improbable. Nate's mother is a Vanderbilt, after all."

"The Vanderbilts are embarrassed with his father. They won't give them a dollar."

She put her hands on her forehead. "This wedding must be stopped! And I'm in to stop it. I can't believe I'm saying this but thank you, Chuck."

He smiled. "I'll give you the address of the club later."

….

Chuck's plan had gone fine well. Serena had called Blair and she had accepted. It had been long since she had gone out at night. Having a baby and having to deal with a boyfriend, was serious business for her that she had barely time for herself.

"I really needed this night out. Thanks for calling me."

Serena grinned. "I thought you needed a break, B. You go to school everyday and have to look after Audrey... you must have a break every once in a while."

"Sometimes I miss old times. But tonight I'm all for fun! Where are we going?"

Serena tried to look casual. "Uhm, there is this new club I wanted to visit. They say they make great drinks. And since now you can drink a little again, why not?"

Blair nodded. "Yes, that's right! I need a drink. It's been a while."

"Look here we are" the blonde said, going out of the car once it stopped. Blair followed her.

They didn't have to wait long because they were on the list. Once in, the brunette asked herself why on Earth they were registered. She thought it was probably Serena who had managed to call the PR to put them there, maybe she already knew somebody in there. Well, whoever had done that, she did not care at the moment.

"What a loud music" she complained. "Let's not go close to the stage, for the love of God."

"Don't worry, it'll stop soon. I heard a live band will play in a few minutes."

Blair made an awkward smile. "Wonderful!" She didn't want to tell her friend that live bands weren't exactly her thing but she decided to shut up.

"Here it is, an empty table. The view is great from here."

A little while later they were drinking a Martini and eating some nuts. Blair wasn't having too much fun waiting for the music to start, but Serena was trying to do her best to convince her friend to remain there willingly.

All of a sudden, a girl with red hair came on stage with an electric guitar. Blair turned when she heard the sound, the girl was tuning it up. She could not believe what she was seeing.

"Oh my." She exclaimed. "That is -" she didn't continue and just looked at Serena for confirmation.

"Have you seen a ghost?"

"Serena! Look at that girl. Isn't that..."

The blonde pretended to be surprised when she started to sing. "Jenny! Red hair fit her."

Blair smiled, she was amused. But Jenny Humphrey singing in a rock group? That was more fun that she had imagined. And worse than living in Brooklyn.

"I need to immortalize this moment" she then said after she started to sing, took her phone from her bag and snapped a photo. It had come out perfect. "I need another pic."

She managed to get back on the other menu to take pictures, but she had just finished to sing a cover. She wished she had never done that, because that's when reality hit her. Hard.

Jenny had not only being quick, she had also had the time to kiss a guy on stage before she started to sing the second cover.

Serena looked at her best friend. She was speechless with her phone in her hand. She had seen several blasts on the Gossip Girl site but never in her life she thought she would see the whole thing in front of her eyes.

Soon tears filled her eyes, but she tried to keep them from falling. The blonde took her hand and caressed it. Blair turned slowly and she knew she was sad for her too. "I'm sorry" Serena whispered.

"Let's go home" Blair said with a cracked voice, then took her belongings and the two left the club in less than a second.

Once home, she told Serena to go to her house and leave her alone. They would see each other in the morning. For now she only wanted to be alone with her daughter to grieve what had just happened, what she wished had never happened.

Audrey woke up right when Blair got back in her room as if the little baby had sense her mom was depressed that night.

She took her daughter in her arms to cradle her so that she would fall back to sleep, but couldn't manage to do so until late midnight. Then, as she hurried to her bed tiredly, she also fell asleep quickly to her surprise.

The day after she felt relieved and numb. No joy, no pain, nothing. She only had the feeling she was trusting in the wrong people. She had thought Nate was the best guy for her, the only one who would never betray her after what had happened with Serena few years before.

Seeing that he hadn't changed was really disappointing. Realizing that Chuck had told her the truth about Nate and Jenny had been more surprising. He had been loyal to her at least, but she wouldn't fully buy it. She knew he probably wanted something.

She sighed after she went out of her building. She decided she would end things with Nate as soon as she would see him. She didn't want to be the joke of the school anymore, she had spent too many weeks already pretending she didn't know anything.

Blair spotted Nate outside their school. He smiled at her, kind as always. But now she was sure that was a fake grin, the same unreal smile he had been faking after he had sex with Serena.

He tried to kiss her when she was close enough, but she recoiled back before he could.

"Is there something wrong, Blair?"

She shook her head and smirked. "Jenny Humphrey, huh? I really couldn't believe you could go ahead Chuck in sick games behind my back. But you succeeded."

"What?" he hoped his arms, confused. "We've talked about this, there is noth -"

She took her phone and showed him the pictures she had taken the night before she would leave th club. "Nate, I thought better of you. I didn't think you would actually do this... again. I'm done" she said with tears in her eyes which she tried to fight back.

"Blair, I -" he tried to say something, but nothing was coming out of his mouth.

"I didn't expect this to you. Not again. Not after you proposed to me." She continued, as Nate watched her without knowing what to say. "Take this back, I don't need it anymore." She took off her engagement ring before she put it in his hand and simply walked away.

She hoped people hadn't seen that scene because there weren't many of them outside the school, but she was sure someone would post the news of their break up on the Gossip Girl site soon.

She went to the bathroom before classes would start and there she cried silently. After she was done, she felt sort of relieved, emptied out. She was still numb but didn't feel that weight on her heart and that unconsciousness she had been feeling lately. It was a start.

She followed all of her classes with a straight face. Avoided people who were discussing her with other students at school, and successfully came back home when school was over. Feed her daughter and then went to have a quick nap to restart her brain.

Weirdly, she felt even better. She thought that probably even though this betrayal was enraging her more than usual, it wasn't a bad thing because she had realized it wasn't probably right to get married with anybody at her age. Maybe her maternal instinct had made her gone soft.

"Hey, are you okay?" her best friend had called to check on her at dinner time.

"Yeah, actually. Thanks for asking me. I'm only on fire because some dumb ass put the video of me and Nate arguing on Gossip Girl."

"I saw. I'm sorry, B. She will never leave us alone."

"The only sad thing in all of this is that I don't have someone to go to the ball anymore" she replied her, a tone of sadness in her voice.

Serena sighed. "If I didn't promise somebody else to go with him, I would be your partner."

"You're going with someone? Who is it?" she wondered, she was smiling.

The blonde blushed on the other end. "You'll see, you'll see" she said. She was about to continue but she heard Audrey crying on the other side.

"I'm sorry, she's hungry. It's been a long day."

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

Blair shut her phone after saying goodbye to her best friend and dedicated to her daughter. She had to think of a plan for the next day. She couldn't go to the ball alone, could she? She had to have a nice partner to dance with and for people to root for. She had to have someone who was enough famous and charming like Nate.

She thought about the possibilities. Most of the guys she wanted had already a person to go to the ball with. She couldn't think that some girls who were less pretty than her, had someone to accompany them. She was Blair Waldorf after all, she could find a last minute suitor.

Of course she wouldn't ask Chuck about it. She was aware he was free, but he was the last person she would go to. Or better, she wouldn't go to him either because she would rather go alone than with him at that point. She was fixated that she didn't want to spend time with him to find possible and unconscious feelings she somehow felt for him.

While Dorota she was helping her finding a new guy in the afternoon of the day after, Blair received a visit. She couldn't say she wasn't surprised.

"Nate. I thought we were clear. Why are you here?"

The guy bit his lip and got closer to her. They were in the foyer. "I came here to say I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find about this they way you did."

Blair sighed. "I accept your apology, Nate. But I won't forgive you. I'm glad that you had enough guts to come here to excuse for sleeping with a second-hand rocker but I'm done. You did it once with Serena and I was ready to forgive that completely. But now, after you've proposed to me? You need to make peace with the confusion in your head."

"It just happened twice." He admitted. "The rest were only kisses."

She closed her eyes and wished she had never heard him saying that. "I don't want the details. I don't need them."

"I'm sorry, Blair. But you didn't want to have sex with me! I couldn't wait anymore and with Jenny it all came so natural and easy -"

"Enough."

Nate shook his head. "Excuse me. I didn't mean to. But that's how I feel. Once I found you and Chuck were dating, I got mad that you were probably sleeping with him while you never slept with me."

"So that's why you wanted me back? I'm not a sexual toy!" she said, enraged. She couldn't believe that the reason was that.

"I was jealous, okay?"

"Nate, I think you need to leave. Please." She told him, she knew the tears were coming again.

Nate was about to answer when both of their phones rang. It was Gossip Girl.

_Word has that between our Queen B and Prince N things are really over. Finally our favorite girl has seen Nate's true colors. We can't believe he really slept with Little J! Sadly for you, N, she doesn't have the money you need to help your family. You may be a charming prince, but you can't do no magic! Poor B, she now has nobody to escort her to the Christmas ball. What a pity! But don't give up, B. There is always someone who helps a queen._

Blair looked up and suddenly reminded what Chuck had told her about Nate's family. "Is that true your father has financial problems?"

He nodded. "We're trying to fix them."

"You mean my family was trying to fix them."

"That's not how it looks like. I, I really love you." He tried to say, but Blair didn't want to believe a word.

She looked at him with delusion. "Oh, it's really how it looks like. Go away, Nate."

Nate sighed and then he looked one last time at her before he left her house. She remained for a few minutes at the same spot without moving an inch. Then she went upstairs and continued her day. She wasn't sure of why her tears didn't come after Nate left. She felt she wanted to cry while he was telling her the truth, finally. Maybe, maybe it was true she was freeing herself from her worries. It was possible that she didn't really want to cry after all. She hoped that positive mood would remain to attend the ball.

And then Saturday came. Blair had had just one day to look for Nate's substitute and her search didn't go well. It seemed that every guy had a girl and no one had a cold or something that couldn't let them attend that event. Even Penelope and Hazel didn't have a suitor, but they weren't her so it was normal they didn't.

Blair was frustrated that no one had refused to cancel on their date to go with her – not that she had asked them personally, it was Dorota who made the calls. This made her sad but she hadn't totally given up. Not until the clock struck 7pm sharp.

"It looks like we may spend the evening together" Blair told her little baby as she checked some envelopes on her desk. They were all from Bart Bass and contained a piece of paper with the amount of money that he had transferred on Audrey's count. But she didn't want to touch a cent. She would leave those money for her daughter when she would be of age.

She caught another toy lying on the bed that Chuck's father had sent her. It was one of those blankets for newborns with animals printed on it. She didn't know why, but her baby seemed to love it. Unlike her.

"Are you happy to be with mommy?" she asked again, aware that her baby wouldn't understand. In fact, Audrey just moved her arms a little when Blair touched her nose.

"Miss Blair" she heard her maid call her suddenly. "Mr Chuck here on ground floor. He want to talk to you soon. I told him to expect you there."

Blair was surprised. "Alright. Stay here with the baby, Dorota. Close the door." She recommended, she didn't want Chuck to hear the baby cry again if she would.

She went down the stairs, a little enthusiast and proud. She didn't know what to expect from that visit.

"Bass, why are you here?" she asked bitterly.

"Good evening to you too" He smirked. "I'm amazed to find you with informal clothes on."

"What?" she looked at her blouse to see if she had stains of milk on her chest. Gladly, she had nothing out of place.

"Well, I thought you would be preparing to go to the ball at this hour of the evening."

She rolled her eyes. "My hair stylist is running late."

"Yes, of course." He grinned, agreeing with her. "I'm supposing you found Archibald's replacement, then."

She tried to smile but the angles of her mouth weren't cooperating. "What did you believe, Chuck? There was a queue to ask me out."

"Who's the lucky winner? Paul Shumbley? Henry Jordan? Kenneth Mustorn? Or maybe someone from the Lacrosse team? I know how much you love sporty guys."

Blair thought about someone random from school. "It is... it's Jimmy Stonberg."

"Jimmy? Are you kidding me? He's taking that girl from the second year that just arrived from Russia. The one who's in your Spanish class, as I recall." He smirked.

"But now he's coming with me" Blair smiled, putting a hand over her hip.

"Then call him. I want to hear it from his voice because today when I asked he was still going to come with that girl."

Blair frowned and cursed herself inside for the lie she had told him. And for him being always so intrusive and knowing about everyone.

She put her hand in her pocket to find her phone but she decided to go for the truth. "Alright. I don't have a suitor for tonight."

"No. Well, I knew you were in a puddle of mud so I came to your rescue. I want to propose you a person who is free like air and that would love to accompany you."

She grinned but her expression changed when he thought who he was talking about. "No. no. Chuck. I won't come to the ball with you!"

He chuckled. "You have no choice. Face it. Everyone will think you didn't come because Nathaniel is taking Little Jenny Humphrey and you are alone at home drowning in your sorrows for not going. They will make your humiliation grow, Blair. No one will buy you're sick with a cold or that you decided to leave town for the weekend. That's an old excuse."

She thought about it. He wasn't totally wrong. If she would go alone to the ball, everyone would be sorry for her. And she didn't want people to be sorry for her at all. She would go over Nate. She still had her daughter.

"I'm just doing it for my reputation as a queen. No strings attached."

He nodded. "See you at 9."

…

He couldn't believe she had accepted. He knew she had no one to go to the ball to, so he well thought of asking her to go with him. He hadn't looked for a girl to attend with him, and honestly did not care about all the proposals he had gotten.

He was a free spirit, didn't need a woman. But he wanted Blair. Going to the ball with her would be really nice, and also helpful for her.

He arrived early to her house, and didn't mind to wait for her a little while. Dorota had told him Blair would be coming soon and that he didn't need to go upstairs to meet her. That didn't sound weird to him but he wondered why emphasize that.

Finally, Blair arrived. He couldn't make out what she was wearing under her dark blue coat, but it looked like something that matched her gown. Her hair were free on her shoulders and her make up was simple.

She raised an eyebrow when she reached him. "Ready?"

Chuck smiled and offered his arm to her, which she gladly took. "Now I am."

The two left her house and headed to the party in his limo. She remained silent for the whole trip but this didn't bother him. He knew she just wanted to arrive to the party and make people see she wasn't giving up on anything. Besides, this gave him time to appreciate her outfit more. And hell if he appreciated her.

He couldn't understand it, but he always felt his stomach empty when she was around.

They arrived at the party fashionably late. Chuck opened the door before she could and run to wait for her on her side. He offered her his hand but this time she didn't accept.

"Don't stand too close to me, Bass." She murmured as they arrived inside.

"We can't dance a slow song without touching each other."

She didn't look happy. "Who said we'll have to dance?"

He smiled, he thought she was being hard but he didn't think she actually loathed him that much to refuse a dance later. And he thought she wasn't indifferent to him either.

Blair suddenly went to the bar. "Waldorf, I'm amazed. The evening hasn't even started and you're already drinking?" he asked her when he saw her taking a glass of champagne.

She looked at him with annoyance. "I should had never accepted to come with you."

"If you want, I can go. It wouldn't take me long to replace you" he teased her.

Her expression changed when she heard him say 'go'. "You wouldn't do that."

"Wanna bet? This relationship isn't exclusive." He provoked her, then he started to walk away.

Blair took his hand to stop him. That was exactly what he was looking for. Skin contact. He turned and smirked at her and he licked his lips. "I think I may stay here for a little while."

"Oh hello, Blair and... Chuck" a voice called from behind them. Minions.

Blair faked a smile when she faced the girls. "Good evening, girls. Where are your partners?"

He was sure she wanted to provoke her minions because none of them had one.

"They're coming" Hazel answered. "They're just late."

"Ah. I see. Or never coming." Blair replied bitchily, making the minions leave them alone. She was sure they didn't expect she would come with someone, so that felt a little accomplishment for her. "Those girls are petulant. They don't even have a partner tonight."

"Because you do?" he asked with a smirk.

She was interdicted. "Don't give yourself too much importance, Chuck. There isn't going to be anything for you after this party ends."

"Nobody said I wanted anything."

She sighed. "Of course you want something. Tell me now before it's too late so I can mentally prepare for the trauma."

Chuck smiled. He thought she knew him too well, she knew he mostly did things to get something in return, but... that night he didn't need to be repaid. He didn't want her to suspect he had changed and that he just wanted to be with her that night, so he shrugged.

Thankfully for him, Serena had just arrived. Blair run to her best friend and they hugged. "Serena! Thank God you're here. And you brought – Dan." She greeted him with nonchalance.

"He was my date. Sorry for not telling you earlier, B." The blonde grinned. "And I see you also got yourself someone. Chuck...?" she winked at him.

"I'll tell you about it later" she rolled her eyes.

"Alright. See you around. Goodbye, Chuck. Have fun!" Serena said before she left with Dan.

Blair sighed again. It was the hundredth time in a few minutes.

"Do you want to leave?" Chuck asked.

"Me? No! Why should I?"

"You've been sighing since we've arrived. Perhaps you wanna dance?" he got terribly close to her and put a hand on her back to lead her to the center of the room where other people were also dancing.

Blair didn't protest when he started moving around the room to dance. It felt really nice.

She remembered that was the first time they danced after Cotillion. She couldn't forget that date at all. That was the last moment she and Chuck had sex before she would be terribly late with her period and found out she was pregnant. Somehow it moved nice and bad memories inside of her.

None of them had noticed that the slow song that was playing looked for couples. Some of the people dancing next to them started to kiss, hugged more passionately.

She felt instantly out of place because she and Chuck weren't an item and she was sure they wouldn't be together, ever. But she didn't want to break his arms around her. They were so warm and he knew how to move his feet so it was okay.

"You're devastating in this dress."

She looked up to reply to him, but nothing came out of her mouth. She was just... flattered by his words. She smiled and looked down.

No, it couldn't be possible that she was enjoying being with him. But she couldn't say it wasn't the truth. And she was sure he was loving holding her because he was being really careful.

She was carried by the music and closed her eyes for what it felt like eternity.

Everything was running smoothly until Chuck stopped suddenly. She opened her eyes and saw Serena approaching, her face was full of anxiety.

"B, Dorota just called me."

Blair removed her hands from behind Chuck's neck and frowned. "What did she say?"

Serena looked at Chuck and then at her best friend again. "She said to get back home asap. There is a problem with... it's serious, Blair. She needs you."

She suddenly felt a rush of panic through her veins. Her hands started to shake but she tried to hide it. No one had to suspect a thing. "I have to go" she decided, leaving the dance floor.

Serena and Chuck followed her, and the blonde gave Blair her coat and purse.

"Where do you think you're going?" Chuck asked, unaware.

"Let me go, Chuck. I need to go. I can't stay." She told him, her voice trembled.

He noticed she had teary eyes. Or maybe it was the light?

"Let me come with you, please. I'll give you a ride."

Blair shook her head and walked towards the exits. "I'll take a cab."

"B. It's better if you let Chuck accompany you. He has the limo ready." Serena suggested, giving her friend a big smile.

The brunette sighed and looked at Chuck. "Let's go."

Chuck could feel the tension in the limo. Blair was shaking, but he was sure not because of the cold. There was something that was bothering her, and he felt helpless because he didn't know what it was and couldn't help her without knowing. But he decided to do something that wouldn't need words to be understood.

She felt him taking her hand and squeeze it. She opened her mouth in surprise and looked away again. She didn't shove his hand away.

They arrived to Blair's penthouse in a few minutes because there wasn't much traffic. They got in the elevator and pressed the button quickly and waited for it to reach the top. He could tell it was making her more anxious than she was being.

Once inside of Blair's house, Dorota greeted them running. He had never seen her so worried and scared... there had to be something bad that had happened for her to panic this much. It was making him worry a lot.

"Miss Blair! Miss Blair! We need doctor!"

"Dorota, tell me what happened first" she demanded with an urgent tone.

"Miss Audrey burns! She has high fever!" Dorota explained.

He could see Blair taking a deep breath before she ordered her maid to call the doctor.

"Call this number, Dorota. This is the best doctor in town" he suggested, giving Blair's maid his phone to make the call.

The woman nodded and whispered a thanks while Blair run upstairs without adding a word. He didn't think about it twice before he run after her.

If there was something he could do, he would do it.

He understood she was in her bedroom, so he went there. It had been a few months since he had been there, but everything was the same besides a small crib next to the bed. He frowned, then he noticed that on said bed there was a little bundle with a cheeky baby wrapped in it. He could see from that far that the baby was red with fever.

Blair took the baby in her arms and put her tiny head on her shoulder. She looked so... maternal, to him. He never thought he would think about her like that ever.

"Don't worry, Audrey. Mommy is here" she said as she moved to calm the baby down.

"Mommy?" he asked spontaneously without realizing it.

Blair then turned, she turned pale. She looked terrified. She was crying, and he knew the thing was serious because she would never cry in front of him.

"You know the truth now. This is my daughter, Chuck."


	11. You left me speechless

He was stunned. Petrified. He watched Blair rocking the baby back and forth around her room and the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't believe his eyes. Blair was a mother...

"Calm down, Audrey. We're going to be okay" she tried to shush the crying baby.

"Dorota is calling the doctor" he said, trying not to touch the topic of who the baby daddy may be or other details about how and when she delivered that baby. "He might be here soon."

Blair wasn't listening to him, she was too distracted. He decided not to tell anything more, he was sure she wouldn't hear him even if he told her that he could heal the baby's fever by touching her like a Saint. She only turned towards the door when she heard footsteps.

It was Dorota, and her face didn't say anything good. "I've called doctor and his maid tell me he is on holiday. In France."

"We need to find someone else" Blair hurried to her desk to find some agenda with numbers. "There must be somebody that could come!" She shouted.

"Blair. Blair, calm down" he then said, knowing that she would be possibly screaming at him too. "We could take her to the hospital. Lenox Hill is the best."

The brunette turned. She was in tears and worried too much to function properly. "She won't leave this house. No one can see her!"

He sighed. "She's left this house once, if I recall" he remembered her. She and Dorota had taken Audrey out on her birthday trip to the jeweler. "If going out this time will save her life, she needs to be taken out."

"Everyone will find the truth. They can't find the truth" Blair cried, she wasn't even sure of why she was saying all of those things.

Chuck touched her arm to comfort her. "They won't. It's late night and everyone's at the Christmas ball right now. They are too busy to track you down."

She looked up to see his face. He was trying to convince her and he was succeeding. "Dorota, prepare Audrey's bag. Now!"

He smiled and she managed to grin at him too. Then Dorota started to run around the room to grab the belongings of the baby. He didn't know what to do to help so he just stared at the scene in front of his eyes: Blair took a pink blanket to shield the baby from the cold and put a little wool hat on her head. Then she reached him, and without a word he moved his feet to go downstairs and get out of the penthouse with the two women and the baby.

In less than half a hour they reached the hospital. Blair had seemed to be less anxious when they were in the limo. She kept staring at the baby and telling her nice words of encouragement, as if the little thing could understand them.

He could still not believe that was Blair's daughter. He hadn't taken a closer look to the baby but he was sure that she was beautiful like her mother. He really hoped he was too caught up in her baby not to notice him staring at them.

She got tense when the vehicle stopped. Arthur came to open their door and she rushed inside of the building followed by Dorota. He run after them not to lose them around the structure. He was surprised she didn't ask him to get back to his house once they had arrived to their destination. She must have been really worried to notice him catching up with them.

A doctor who was working there at the ER that night decided to visit Blair's baby. They went to a private room where only Blair was allowed as the only parent of the child.

Dorota went to a side of the hallway to call Eleanor Waldorf, while he sat down on a couch not too far from the door Blair had just got in.

He took his phone to kill the time. He knew it may take a few minutes to check on the baby. He checked Gossip Girl's website to control that the blogger hadn't posted anything about them. Thankfully for him, it seemed as if nobody had seen them. The only post about Blair was a little one where the site wondered why she had fled from the party with him. They probably thought that they left to have time by themselves to do the dirt. If she only knew...

Blair went out of the room after a couple of minutes. She wasn't crying anymore but her face showed worry and disappointment. He was surprised that she sat down next to him when she spotted him checking his phone.

"Gossip Girl is unaware of where we are" he informed her.

She nodded and managed a smile. "I should had never gone to that ball" she told him. Her voice was broken by a sigh.

"Everything is going to be fine" he tried to comfort her.

"Destiny is punishing me for leaving her alone."

"Destiny doesn't exist" he told her as a matter of fact. "Don't blame yourself. If something has to happen, it will. Want it or not."

She silenced herself and started crumpling her bag, she was getting anxious. She didn't feel like talking, nor thinking about how she ended up telling him that Audrey was her daughter. She just wanted to wait, the doctor had told her that it would take a few minutes for them to visit the baby and give her the meds she needed so she could heal.

She had been very inconsiderate. She knew she had to stay home so that she would be ready to take care of her baby instead of going to that damn ball where she didn't accomplish anything.

"Miss Waldorf" the doctor called her five minutes later. Blair stood up from the couch to meet the doctor halfway in the corridor. "Your child will slowly recover but for tonight, we may have to keep her here. It's safer if the fever should go up again."

"But... is that normal? She's only four months old."

"It often happens that newborns suffer of typical winter fevers when they are really little. She's going to be okay tomorrow morning but I advise you to change her air every once in a while. Babies must go out and breath fresh air... that's how they develop antibodies."

She nodded. She would take that in mind for the future although she really didn't want to take her baby out. "Is that all?"

"You need to fill the form that will go in your baby's case history for future reference. It's the usual procedure since you went here" he explained and gave her a paper and a pen before he left the hallway to get back to another room.

Blair sat back down next to him and was ready to fill the form with Audrey's informations. But her hand was still shaky, so he well thought of taking the pen from her hand and she weirdly didn't oppose to that gesture.

He was curious to know about Blair's child and he wasn't sure why. He probably wanted to know who was the father of the baby – if there was one; or simply out of curiosity. He had seen her acting weird during the summer when the two met in Paris. The baby was four months old so she was probably pregnant by then and that was why she pushed him away. So many questions...

"Name, surname" he asked her, while she was nervously looking at the wall in front of them.

"Audrey Elizabeth. Audrey Elizabeth Waldorf." She said, her voice seemed sad.

In his mind, he wondered why Elizabeth as a second name but then he realized it might have been because of Elizabeth Taylor. He avoided to ask for confirmation. "Date and place of birth."

"August 9th."

Then she was born in August? It was no doubt she was definitely pregnant when he saw her in Paris. She kept answering absentmindedly.

"You forgot to tell me where she was born" he prompted, and in that moment Blair seemed to wake up from her thoughts. She turned abruptly and took the paper from his hands.

Chuck didn't comment on that. He knew she was probably trying to keep her baby's identity and she didn't want him to know more about her either. It didn't matter that night he had clearly been her lifesaver.

Blair filled the form and gave it to a nurse. She got back to her place as if she had planted herself on that couch, next to him, who was starting to finally have questions in his head about everything that was happening. But he didn't dare to ask her.

They remained in silence for what it felt like hours until Blair talked again. "In case you're wondering, she's not yours" she informed him, her voice sharp and cold.

Chuck opened his mouth in surprise, he didn't expect her to go directly to the point of his wonders. But after all, what could he think? For all he knew, Blair could have slept with his ex best friend Nate and that baby was his. Or it could be that she had kept a guy he didn't know of, hidden somewhere. Maybe in Paris.

It was weird for her to even reply about a question he didn't ask. So he didn't comment on that affirmation of hers either.

"And God forbid, if I had been pregnant with your offspring. I would have killed myself."

He shook his head lightly. He knew that she probably wouldn't have done a drastic act if she happened to be bearing his baby. Blair seemed maternal, and not ruthless like other girls were. He knew she was a bitch sometimes, but that was part of herself and her mask. He knew that behind that foundation she was a great woman. In fact he wondered why she needed to protect herself with her heartless and mean girl side act.

She shut up after her last phrase. He was happy she did, because he needed to walk and distract himself. He stood up from the couch and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Blair asked, her voice with plea.

He turned. "I need to go for a walk. And I need to drink something. I'll be back."

She nodded, so he started walking again. She hadn't begged him not to go, but he knew that she felt that. She wanted him there, it didn't care that she thought so low of him. He knew she was just mad and was trying to save her face. But this didn't stop him from wondering.

He had seen his father meeting with Blair and Dorota more than a month before. He had asked himself why his old man would be greeting his friend and maid if there weren't any other interests involved.

In addition, Chuck knew he had slept with her more than once. Alright, they had used protection most of the times they did but not always. If there was even an infinitesimal possibility that he was... he had to do something to find out. Because he needed to know.

Somehow thinking that Blair had had a baby with Nate or with another guy, made him jealous. He had opened the key to her fertility when she decided she was ready to lose her virginity and had chosen him to do that. So if by any chance she had got pregnant with his baby, or with whoever baby, he had the right to know.

Instead of going to the bar, Chuck reached the DNA tests area. That was his only occasion to do that and he had to take the risk. He deserved to find out the truth. And he was sure that she had told him that the baby wasn't his on purpose so he would put his wonders to rest. But he hadn't bought it.

"Mr Morrison?" he read the name of the doctor on his ID.

The man looked up and smiled. "Is there something I could do for you?"

"Hello, I'm Chuck Bass. Is it possible... to do a test? Right now."

"Mr Bass, our laboratories are closed, it's two in the morning."

"I know. But I need to know something now. My situation is really complicated and I won't have another occasion to do this" he took something from his pocket to show him.

The man was speechless. "I'll try to break the rules for you." He promised, then he stood up from his chair and showed him the way. "But I need the authorization of the mother. Miss Waldorf. Since the child is a minor, it's not possible to do it without."

He sighed. "I see. But... what about the authorization of a presumed father? I think I have all the rights to know... am I right?" he asked, giving the man another cheque.

The doctor didn't hesitate at that point, since he gave him at least 3,000 dollars to get that favor done. He showed Chuck the way to the laboratories and took material that would be necessary for him to analyze, then he promised him that he would get what he needed from Blair's baby before they would leave the hospital.

Chuck got back to where Blair was after a long time. She was still sitting on the couch and was spending the time looking around her. He thought she might be still worried and that was why she wasn't able to do anything to distract. Not that there was something she could do at a hospital, but whatever.

She glanced on her side when she saw him coming, he was carrying two coffees. He felt a little guilty for leaving her alone to go and do that DNA test, but it was his only shot.

"Wow, where did you get those, in Europe?"

Chuck smiled, at least she still had her sarcasm. "I'm sorry it took me long, but I needed to make a call. I brought you coffee."

Blair took the coffee eagerly and he sat next to her so that they could drink together.

Sometimes she felt that they were perfect like this, standing next to each other and actually not arguing. He wasn't acting badly to her surprise and this was pleasuring her – she never thought he would be the one that would help her with her baby.

Chuck Bass had truly surprised her that night, that she thought Christmas was coming earlier for her. If he only knew, though... God only imagined what his reaction would be.

He hadn't commented on her lie about him not being the baby daddy, earlier. He hadn't even asked who was it. Who knew, maybe she was underestimating him and she didn't know that he could really be the man she wanted right now for her and for Audrey.

But this still didn't change how she felt about herself that night. "I'm a bad mother."

His answer came after a few moments. "I don't think so." He replied, not wanting to make her feel bad about herself because she shouldn't be. "For all I saw tonight, it's evident you love that baby so much." He couldn't say the word _daughter_ because it was still weird for him.

Blair wasn't looking at him when he answered her. When she turned her face, he noticed her red eyes and stains of mascara up her cheeks.

He had really wanted to dry her silent tears but he refrained for some reasons. She reminded him of that Blair in the limo, more than a year before. Not too much changed from the one he was looking at now, still worried and vulnerable. Just that this time she also had a baby, a daughter that he knew could be _his_.

"Why are you doing this" she said, making it sound like a comment and not a question.

"Do you want me to go?" Chuck wondered, hoping she would say no because he didn't want to leave her there. He wouldn't leave if she would say yes either.

Her expression changed. She was scared again. "No!" it came out as a little scream of plea. "Please. Don't leave me alone. I already sent Dorota away."

He grinned. "I'm not going anywhere."

She managed a smile and he thought she was going to be okay until she broke into tears again. Seeing her cry was the hardest thing for him. This time he didn't care if she would shove his hand away, he wanted her to feel his comfort.

He put an arm on her shoulder and let her adjust on his chest. She didn't oppose to this. She cried more loudly after she placed her head on his heart. Chuck instinctively kissed her head and tried to hug her the tightest he could. And he was relieved when she finally fell asleep. She deserved to regain her strength, it had been a long night.

….

Few hours later, Chuck woke up. He was relieved to see that Blair hadn't left before they could talk again. She was still sleeping next to him on the couch, and her hands were clutched on his arm. He looked down at her and thought she was really beautiful while she slept. And not only then, he was convinced that Blair was one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen.

He watched her sleep intently, calculating each one of her breaths until she finally woke up. She seemed she had forgotten where she was. Her eyes tried to adjust to the new light that was illuminating the corridor they were at.

Finally, she acknowledged that she was lying on his upper arm and exchanged a glance at Chuck. "You're still here" she said. She wasn't questioning him, she was gladly surprised that he hadn't left. "But you can go if you have to -"

"I don't have to go anywhere" he answered with a smile although it was a lie. It was Sunday and he had to attend a lunch at his house because his father and Lily had well thought of doing their first Christmas lunch together as a family.

She seemed grateful of him staying. "Did they tell you something?"

"I tried to ask but they couldn't. I'm not related to her so it isn't my right to know."

Blair thought that he really was caring about that situation a lot. And her baby. He was caring even without knowing that he was indeed a parent of that little girl of hers.

"Yeah, I forgot about it."

"No problem."

She sighed. "Alright. Now I think I'll have to check if everything is fine" she said, then she stood up from the couch and left him by himself.

It was a shame they hadn't let him know the conditions of the baby. For all he knew, that kid may be his... he hoped that the results of the DNA test wouldn't take long. The doctor had told him that he would have to wait a couple of days. He was sure the results would be ready before Christmas anyway.

After a few minutes spent there thinking about stuff, Blair returned. "The Doctor said that Audrey's fever is gone. I can take her back home if I want."

"That's good news."

Blair smiled, she seemed enlightened by a new happiness. He could tell that she was very affectionate to her daughter. "I'm going to see her now. Do you want to come?"

He was surprised of the request that he just replied with a nod.

The two walked together to the little room where Audrey was sleeping. She was in a crib and she looked asleep. Blair run towards the squared box and took the baby in her arms, and he realized that the little child was awake. She kissed the top of her head and then the baby started crying, as if she was alerting something to her mother.

"Honey, I really missed you" she said, cradling the baby to make her stop crying. "I know that you've missed me too. You haven't eaten since yesterday before the ball. Mom is going to fed you."

Chuck smirked when he heard her say that. It looked amusing and he had never seen somebody nursing a baby before. But he knew it was too good to be true because Blair turned to him and asked him to leave so she could get undressed. He was told to guard the door to avoid that someone would get it and interrupt her moment with Audrey.

Blair opened the door not too late. She had her coat on and had dressed the baby up. "We're going home" she let him know.

"I can give you another ride" he offered.

He thought she would say no, he had done too much that night that he didn't think she would ask him more. In addition, he had also found out Blair's big secret. She wouldn't let him get away with it without trying to make him hold his tongue. Although she had yet to ask him to promise that he would never tell anybody that she had a daughter.

Chuck helped Blair and her baby to cover so that nobody would snap any pictures if they saw them. The mission was accomplished both times when they went out of the hospital and when they sneaked into her building.

He waited for her to be done putting her child to rest in her crib. He didn't follow her upstairs as she did so, he didn't want to intrude and thought that she would tell him to get out of the house if he would have done so.

When the brunette returned, she descended the stairs with a sad face. He thought she hadn't seen him lying there next to the column of the entrance, in fact she kept walking with her head low and sat down on an armchair. Once she realized she wasn't alone, she managed a smile.

"Why are you still here?"

"You don't have to blame yourself for last night" he told her, avoiding her question.

Blair seemed to reason about it for a second, but she wasn't convinced that was the truth. She made a face and shook her head. "What do you know about parenting..."

He sighed. It was true, he didn't know anything about parenting a child. But he was willing to understand and try if that test would confirm him that he and Audrey were related.

"That was not bad parenting, Blair. You are just eighteen, you are young. You deserve fun and distractions every once in a while. The fact that your baby got sick when you went to a school ball doesn't mean anything."

"It does to me. Don't you understand? I've tried my best to hide the baby and at the same time keep up with her and school. This event proved me that my plan had a flaw. From this moment forward no excuses she said, she was being hard on herself too much.

"Nobody is perfect. Not me, nor you. Just think that now things are alright. She won't hold it against you she grows up."

She shook her head again. He had failed to convince her. "Just go home, Chuck. Leave me alone" she begged, putting a hand on her forehead to massage her temples. The tiredness of sleeping on a couch was starting to kick in. She was tired.

He thought it was better if he didn't add anything, so he nodded and walked away to reach the elevator. Once he was in his limo ready to get back to his house, Blair sent him a text.

_You know what this would mean to me if someone finds out what happened last night. I'm counting on your silence or else you can say bye-bye to your eyeballs. - B_

He grinned at her words, she was still the Blair he used to know. And damn, he liked her more and more every day and this scared him because he had never liked someone the way he liked her. If he only knew how to understand if that was love or just move on and forget about it.

….

Few days passed and it finally was Christmas Eve. Chuck had been waiting for a call for three or four days, but the doctor still hadn't noticed him that the results were ready.

He couldn't wait to find out if he was Audrey's father. He wasn't sure why, since he had barely seen the child once and didn't interact with her either. Maybe he just wanted to know not to remain with the doubt forever and lose a chance to make his life better.

The fact of possibly being that little girl's father scared him. He wouldn't know what to do if the test was positive, wouldn't know where to begin. And what if Blair would never allow him to be in the child's life?

No, he believed she would never do that. After all, she had already denied him to father her child after she was born, she was the one in the wrong, not him. He hadn't even had the chance to know about this baby. She owed him that.

Finally the call he expected, arrived. It was early in the morning and he was still going around Manhattan to buy presents for Lily, Serena and Eric because that night the Basses' would be together to have their first Christmas Eve as a family. He dropped the bags with the gifts in the limo and went to the hospital to get the envelope with the results.

He knew what he did wasn't right. He had decided to do that DNA test without Blair's approval, he really hoped that she wouldn't get mad at him for doing that – but what did she expect?

He had accompanied her to her place to find out she had a baby and doubted of many things. Then he had remembered that his father and Blair seemed friendly when, one month before, he had gone to the jeweler to buy her birthday gift.

He needed to know so that he could put his questions to rest. He would accept anything, even a negative response. He just had to find out the truth.

He didn't want to open the envelope with the results at the hospital. He needed a place where he could be alone and not where anyone could see his face that he knew may change expression after he knew what was inside.

He thought that there wasn't a better place than his limo to open the envelope, then. He could be alone and not watched by anybody. But he wanted to wait to open it, so he asked his driver to go to a place where he could vent if the result would be positive.

Once Arthur reached the place with the limo, Chuck sighed. He was ready to open the envelope, he couldn't wait anymore.

He took the results from the pocket of his coat and then slowly opened the envelope. There were three papers inside... it could be either a good or bad sign. Calmly, he opened the folded paper and then his eyes looked for the result.

After he read it, he breathe in and out and then rubbed his eyes. Then he checked if his clothes were okay and he got out of the car, ready to face Blair. Or maybe it was better to say that Blair had to be ready to face him now that he had the truth in his hands?


	12. Face to Face

Hello all! I always forget to write a comment before a chapter, but this time I needed to. I wanted to thank you for reviewing, reading and adding this story to the favs. I never thought something I previously wrote in my mother tongue, would be liked in English too. I appreciate your love a lot! And I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well. - T

….

Once he got in Blair's penthouse, it didn't take long for her to show up.

"What are you doing here? I thought that you and -" she said, but was soon interrupted.

He was looking at the carpet and when he raised his head to meet her eyes, she felt shivers on her spine because he looked livid. "When you were going to tell me, Blair? When?"

"What? Chuck, I don't get what you're talking about."

He sighed and took the envelope from his coat. Blair looked at the alarming proof with scared eyes, her heart was beating fast with anxiety. She dreaded that moment was coming sooner than expected.

"I know you've been despising me lately, although you were happy when we were together last year. But this isn't reason enough to hide this" he showed her the envelope better; "from me."

"Chuck, I don't know what's written on that piece of paper, but I'm certainly sure it's not true." She tried to manage a smile and shrugged.

"You don't? Please, you're aware of what I'm talking about" he extended his hand to pass the papers to her.

She gulped and then read the papers carefully. Of course they were positive and she knew that they would be. Chuck was Audrey's father although she had denied it for long time before the baby would be born.

"Who gave you this? Who let you _touch_ my daughter?"

He was angry and furious. "It doesn't matter who helped me. What it does matter, Blair, is that you've lied to me. _For months_."

"I didn't lie to you. She's not -"

"Stop lying!" he shouted. He was done with her excuses about that matter.

She bit her lip, trying to find some argument to support her. She didn't want him to find out like this and unexpectedly. "You know that this is illegal?"

"Well, denounce me then. Denounce me from wanting to know the truth!"

She frowned. "I didn't want you to find out like this" she tried to explain, but it was evident that he wasn't buying it. She knew that he was right getting mad. "But what could I have done? You're a coward who can only think about sex and women and you can't even take care of yourself, Chuck."

"I won't deny that some of that is the truth, but you can't know what I would have done if I knew. As much as you think I'm a selfish bastard, there are many things you don't know about me. I _had_ the right to know anyway."

She nodded. "You're right, you have the right to know. And now you know."

"That's not enough."

"What do you want?" she wondered.

"A month ago, I saw you talking to my father in front of your trustworthy jeweler. Does he... did he know all along about this?"

She nodded. "He said he would help me keep the secret from you and I was okay with it. He came here out of the blue when I got back from Paris. I still not know how he found out."

Chuck was sure that his father didn't trust him, because he had never did. But go to Blair and ask her to keep the baby hidden so that he would never find out about her? Bart was obsessed with his reputation more than Blair herself, he thought.

"Bart has P.I.'s, he would have found out anyway. Did he threaten you?" he asked, and she could tell this time his was a question full of worry.

She shook her head. No, he hadn't done that and she hoped that he never would. "He just offered the baby a new bank account. He didn't want her to be mistreated by his family."

He grinned. "Dear old Bart, using money to win people. I should had known. He cared to free himself from the blame but he wasn't concerned enough to let his own son know."

"I never asked for that money. In fact, I never touched a cent."

Chuck was still smiling thinking about his father that he didn't pay attention to Blair's words anymore. He felt livid and was grinning not to get mad and out of control. He needed to go away from the Waldorf penthouse and face his father.

"I think I should go now" he said, turning around to reach the elevator. He didn't say goodbye and left the penthouse directed to a new place. He wasn't done talking with Blair, but he needed to reach his father first.

….

Blair felt lighter after Chuck was gone. Now he knew the truth, he knew that he was Audrey's father and that she had tried in vain to keep the baby hidden and Bart Bass had helped her, had sent her money and toys with the little child.

This wasn't enough, and she knew it. She felt relieved but she knew that Chuck would try to get more informations about the baby. She wasn't sure of why, but she was aware that he would want to know. He didn't seem like he wanted to run away to her. Anyway, at the present moment. She couldn't know it for sure but she would wait to find out.

One thing was clear. Next time they would talk, she would need to ask him about this. Would he take his responsibilities or he would leave and decide that it wasn't his thing?

….

When he went back to his house, everything seemed cold and dark. The house seemed emptier than ever and he asked himself why, since Lily had planned a dinner with the four of them that night and then she would leave with his father for a little vacation.

He had never spent Christmas with his father. He was usually alone on Christmas Eve, besides when Nate used to invite him for dinner and to stay the night, which he loved more than remain in lonesome in a big penthouse of a hotel. Drinking in company was much better than drinking all by yourself.

Had everything today, except a father that would act like one. He soon realized that Bart Bass would never turn into the perfect parent, no matter how much he tried. So when he grew up, things got easier. He could just go out with girls and have fun in clubs for three nights in a row, or stay in and help himself with a bottle of aged scotch. And that year, no matter Bart had got married with Lily, he knew it wouldn't be any less different than the past.

He was a little sad that the night was probably canceled. He had hoped for a different night to distract from the news he had received that night. But it seemed that not only he was going to invent something to spend the day, he was going to do it alone because he didn't have in mind to call some hookers to have fun. Sounded weird even to him.

"Did you take everything to the car?" he could finally hear Bart's voice, he was getting close.

He went to him but his father barely noticed him standing there. He was distracted by the preparations for the imminent trip to Bahamas as usual.

"Father, we need to talk." He said, but the old man didn't turn soon. Still distracted...

"Chuck. Already home?" Bart asked, making the question sound like an accusation. As if Chuck wasn't allowed to be home earlier. "I have no time to talk. Me and Lily have the jet ready to leave for our destination. You can talk to me when we get back at the end of the month."

Of course. "Should I call your secretary to make an appointment with you?" he joked.

"Wouldn't be a bad idea. Now if you'll -" he said, but Chuck put himself in the way to stop him. "Alright, I'll give you two minutes."

"I know the truth. Blair has confirmed it. And I have proofs." He told him, not needing to clarify of which truth he was talking about.

Bart frowned. "Well, what do you want to do now? You can't use the jet to run away."

"I _do not_ want to run away." Chuck emphasized. "Why did you keep it from me?"

"Are you even asking me why, Chuck? You are a womanizer, never had a relationship with a woman that lasted more than one hour. How can you think you can be a father? You're just not tailored to be one. Or maybe not now. Someday, when you'll realize you have to change..."

"You know nothing."

Bart raised his eyebrows. He was questioning his son. "You are a delusion of a son to me. Imagine how disappointed would be that little girl of you, if she knew you fathered her. You had the chance to stay out of it but you blew it."

Chuck was tightening his fists. He wasn't a violent man, but his father made him want to punch him in the face just to give him a black eye and to ruin his holidays with Lily.

He didn't answer his father because he knew some of those things he said, were true. He wished he had done it, though. Because he felt like his father would think lower of him since he hadn't replied back.

"What? Nothing left to say? I'm guessing you agree with me." The old man smiled proudly, Chuck thought he was so obnoxious and arrogant to affirm those words without knowing that he could be better. "Well, then. I gotta keep going. See you in the new year."

Bart Bass walked away from his son. Chuck thought it was very stupid of him to think that he wasn't made to be a father. If he had to look at his own, he would say that Bart clearly hadn't the right cards to be one. He had never acted like one, so why he was sitting on a high throne and was looking at his son from the top and believed that he wasn't going to make it?

He didn't know if Chuck would fail. No one did. Neither Blair – although he knew that she was a little biased regarding him and his way to act.

If it was this that made his old man and his favorite woman think those things, he might as well prove them that he wasn't that man they thought he had always been. He was different. And being a dad at this young age wasn't in any of his projects, but now that he was in this big mess... he could challenge himself. Maybe whatever he felt for Blair would be cleared too.

That was the reason why Chuck decided to have a shower and change clothes, then he went out to put a crazy idea he had had to practice. He needed to show Blair that he was trying to behave and understand, although he had a big confusion in his head.

He chose the most usual way to show that he wanted to participate in the child's life. He bought Blair a gift. It was Christmas Eve after all and he needed to apologize. Then he went to the Waldorfs so that he could give the presents to her.

Once the elevator doors opened, he found Dorota knitting on the couch. She jolted when she noticed him, but what could he do, he had been silent.

"Mr Chuck, Miss Blair not here. She went to airport to pick up Mr Harold."

"This means I'll wait for her" he said, going to sit in front of Blair's maid. He noticed that next to Dorota there was a little portable crib, and he thought the baby was inside. He thought about it for a second, then he cleared his voice. "Uhm, can I?" he tried to gesture for the little box next to her as he stood up.

"You ever took baby in arms, Mr Chuck?"

He shook his head when he reached the crib. "This would be the first time."

"Okay. You take baby with one hand under head then other hand supports her back" she stood up as well and took Audrey to show him. "Like this."

Alright, it didn't seem a hard task to do. Dorota tried to pass him the baby and with her help, he could hold her properly. "She'll be right in this position?"

"Good, you took baby well, Mr Chuck. But support head better!" Dorota instructed him.

Chuck set down because he found it easier. His arms were soon starting to hurt because the position wasn't letting the blood flowing but who cared. He was finally looking at the child better and he wasn't regretting.

Audrey was beautiful. She had a pair of hazel eyes and thick, brown hair. It was evident she was his. The colors were the same, only a fool would say otherwise.

"She's really pretty, isn't she?" Chuck wondered out loud.

The maid smiled. "Miss Audrey copy of Miss Blair. Could not be ugly."

"That's true" he agreed.

"You being good holding her, Mr Chuck. And I think baby like you because she isn't crying."

He chuckled. That was nice to know at least.

He was too focused on the baby that he didn't hear when Blair arrived with her father. "You'll see, Audrey is already -" Blair stopped once she stepped more inside of her penthouse. She had spotted Chuck, and he had just raised his head to meet her eyes. "Chuck. What are you doing here?"

At least she hadn't said something that wasn't nice. "Waiting for you. I needed to give you something." He said, passing the child to an expectant Dorota by his side. "Good evening, Mr Waldorf." He also greeted Blair's dad who answered with a nod.

She was sending questioning looks to Dorota and she could say that she wasn't approving of that. "We need to talk. Now." She said, taking his arm and leading him to the other room. When she let go of his arm, her voice was harsher. "I thought we were done talking."

"We weren't. But I'm done with my father. He left with Lily for Bahamas early so at least he won't be around for a week." He explained.

"And you came all the way here on a Christmas Eve night to tell me that?"

He snorted with annoyance. He hated when she seemed to rude to him. "No. I wanted to apologize for taking Audrey's hair for the test. I had to talk to you first."

"Okay, apology accepted."

"I came to give you this" he took a velvet box from the pocket of his coat and gave it to her.

Blair examined the box. She knew that it was some jewel inside of it so she soon opened the rectangle and found a golden bracelet inside. There was her name incised on it. "That is lovely. You had my name written over."

He was about to give her another thing he had with him but then he had second thoughts on it. He thought maybe it was too early for her to accept. "I'm glad you liked it."

"It was a nice present" she managed a smile. She had really liked it but she didn't want him to boost his ego. "Thank you."

He grinned back at her. "Well, I think you can't wait to spend time with your father. I'm going to leave." He said, then he went out of the room and she followed him. He had to go through the room where Dorota was with the baby and Blair's father. "Mr Waldorf." He managed a grin of circumstance.

"Charles, you're already going?" Harold asked him, getting closer to shake hands.

"I have to. I have something to do at home."

"Oh, I see. Christmas dinner?"

Chuck shook his head, thinking about what he was probably going to do since there wouldn't be any dinner to attend that night. "Not this year. My father and Lily left for a holiday and Serena and her brother are at their grandma's house."

Harold seemed stunned. "Are you going to spend this holiday on your own? That's not good."

"I'm used to it. Now I'll leave you to your meals" he said, walking towards the elevator and.

Blair's father exchanged a glance with her daughter and then tried to stop Chuck. "I meant to ask you... do you want to stay for dinner?"

He turned when the doors of the elevator opened. "What?"

"You heard daddy, Chuck. Would you stay for dinner?" Blair offered.

He grinned. "I'd be delighted to."

…

"When are you going to find out the results of the SATs?" Harold asked, they were at that point of the evening where they run out of arguments to talk about and school jumped in.

He was sitting next to Harold, who was at the head of the table, and in front of Blair who was at the opposite side with the baby in her pram. Eleanor had to come to the dinner too, but apparently she was stuck at an airport outside New York because of a snowstorm.

"Not until January, dad. But I'm sure that I passed mine and I'm going to attend Yale next fall" she said with excitement. Yale had always been Blair's dream since she was little.

Harold smiled eagerly. "I'm sure of it" he then turned to Chuck, who was sipping wine. "What about you, Charles? Where do you want to go?"

"Well, my father would want me to go to Yale, but I want to follow another path."

"Do you want to work?"

He nodded. "I'd love to train at Bass Industries. I'd rather invest there than Yale."

"If you think running your company it's the right thing, then go for it" he shrugged.

Chuck grinned and then returned to his meal. He didn't want to talk of himself and he wouldn't have done so, but he replied out of education.

A little silence fell on the table when the trio started finishing their second course. Blair broke it when she asked something to her father. "How long you will stay?"

"I think until the day after Christmas. You know, Roman is busy with work and he'll be free on the 26th. We decided to spend the remaining vacations in Miami.

"That's amazing!" Blair said with happiness and clapped her hand like a child. Speaking of children, the tone of the dinner was soon interrupted by the baby crying. She looked down at her daughter and then took her to cradle her and make her stop. "I think she wants to eat." She added, then she left the table to go to the other room to nurse her.

"Well, Charles" Harold seemed like he wanted to talk to him a lot that night; "if I'm not indiscreet, why does your family barely cares about Christmas?"

He thought he would ask him worse, but he could actually reply honestly to this question. "I can't see _us_ as a family. I mean, I'm totally okay with Lily. She is a nice woman and me and her kids get along, but there never was and possibly _never_ will be a familiar atmosphere in our penthouse. But I don't mind, I'm used to be on my own."

"I see. Then it's cool that you spent a different Eve this year, isn't it?" he smiled at him, and he could see compassion in his eyes. Or maybe he was just imagining it.

"I'm glad to be here too. Dinner was great."

Chuck got a little anxious when Blair's father turned serious. The friendly smile had disappeared from his face but he knew he would still be nice to him. At least he didn't look like a man who would threaten people.

"Putting aside this polite conversation... I've gotta tell you something more important."

Harold was about to talk but Blair got in before he could talk. _Saved_. Maybe he would get out of her house without her father's pry. "You'll tell him later, daddy. Dorota is bringing us our favorite Christmas cake."

He asked himself if Blair had arrived on purpose or she was done with nursing by coincidence. Perhaps she was sure that her father wanted to ask him something in particular regarding the baby and his responsibilities. Maybe she was scared of what he would answer.

Finally the dinner was over after the cake. Harold had decided to leave for the night and so he went to his room upstairs to sleep. He was still dazed by the timezone difference.

Chuck, Blair and the baby were left alone in the living room. He was buried in the long khaki couch and he knew he had to go before things may turn ugly but he didn't want to stand up. He was sure she would ask him confirmations, and more confirmations. And she had the right to know what he intended to do. And he knew, but he wasn't fully sure.

There were two forces in his head.

One was telling him to listen to Bart, run away furthest to another state or continent and forget about Blair, Audrey and his life in New York. But he was trying to put that possibility to rest because he would be a coward. It was saving him that this would be what he would do if Blair wouldn't talk him or let him see the baby anymore, which wasn't happening yet.

The other option was to remain there and show his father that he could make it. Show Blair that he could play that part and take his responsibilities – although they were hard and could put him in a cage of promises.

"I think I'm going to go" he said few minutes before midnight.

Blair was reading a magazine next to the table. When she heard his voice, she glanced at him and then she stood up to look outside of the window. "You can't."

He frowned and stood up to reach her. Then he understood. "Oh."

The streets were full of snow and there was a snowstorm. "It's impossible to drive in these conditions. Don't call Arthur to pick you up, let him celebrate with his family tonight."

He wanted to answer her that Arthur was single and wouldn't mind to go there with a storm – he paid him well after all – but he knew she was right. He had a wife and kids and he had given him the day off after he had accompanied him to the Waldorfs.

"Are you sure you're okay if I stay here?"

She smiled. "We have many guest rooms. I won't be bothered if you spend the night here as long as you stay away from my room."

He smirked. "Thanks."

"Then it's a deal. Now let's go upstairs, won't we? I need to put Audrey in her crib."

Blair passed Audrey's pram to Chuck who closed it, while she cuddled the sleeping baby in her arms. Once in her room, she put the baby on the bed and started to observe her.

He sat on the edge of the big bed and started to look at the baby too. Blair smiled at him when he did so, it was a quick smile but it was still a grin. It looked different, more intimate. Like a _thank you for being here_, kind of smile. And that emptied his stomach again, with a sickness that he wasn't sure what it meant. He sighed to try to put that thought aside.

"Merry Christmas" Blair said when she noticed that the baby was definitely asleep.

"Right, Merry Christmas." He said, looking at the clock. It was past midnight now.

Blair put her head on the pillows, next to her baby. Outside there were thunders and they could hear the wind blowing. The storm was pretty big, he had been right staying there instead of facing what was happening in the streets.

"I asked Dorota to prepare the guest room at the end of this corridor" she informed him.

But he sort of ignored that info and dared to ask her something she didn't expect. "Was everything alright?"

Blair frowned, she didn't get it at first. "You mean...?" she pointed at the baby. Yes, he was meaning that. "Yeah, it was. I had Serena and my dads by my side, they were wonderful."

"You sure?" he wondered again, making her remember about the night the baby was conceived.

She opened her mouth to answer but she sighed first. "Okay, something went wrong. The baby was few days late because my obstetrician mistook the date of conception. And you know what happens when a baby is too late."

He thought he remembered from science class. "August, right? In Paris." He hadn't forgotten about the date Blair had told him few days before at the hospital.

She nodded. "She couldn't be of anybody else."

"Not even Nate?"

"We never slept together. Not even once." She confessed.

Chuck was surprised. "Was I...?"

She looked down, a little shy. "Yes, you were the only one I've ever slept with. So far anyway. I don't plan on sleeping with anybody for a while. I don't want to get pregnant again."

"There are condoms to protect you. And birth control pills" he offered, but Blair rolled her eyes.

"It's better if we try to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." She cut short. She was too tired to engage in an argument with Chuck Bass. She was done for the day.


	13. Doesn't Mean I'm Lost

Hello all! I had this chapter already half done so I decided to post it as soon as I could finish it. I really hope you like it, the story will go a little faster than usual after this one.

….

Blair felt so disoriented when she woke up. She thought it was because of the hour; the clock ticked eight in the morning. She smiled, brushed her head on the pillow, and thought it was a free day so she didn't have to wake up early to run errands apart from the Christmas lunch.

She was happy, she wasn't sure why. She turned between the sheets to adjust her position and she felt comfortable putting her hand under the soft silk. But then she realized that what she was touching didn't look like it. She quickly opened her eyes, she couldn't believe what was in front of her. "Chuck!" she shouted as she noticed that she had taken his hand while half asleep.

She hoped he hadn't woken up, but it was too late. "What the..."

Blair shook her head and tried to remember if something had happened that night. She sat down and only then she realized that her baby was also on the bed, sleeping calmly in between them both. Okay, now she reminded things.

Yesterday night they were talking of random stuff on her bed. She remembered to order Chuck to go to his room but he didn't go, he stayed for a while and they talked every now and then. And she hadn't been able to fall asleep because he had never left.

"What happened? Don't tell me, we... with the baby" she said, terrified he might say yes.

Chuck put his head on his hand and shrugged. "Nothing, absolutely nothing. We fell asleep while we were talking about Ivy League."

"Ah."

She couldn't add more that the baby started to cry out loud. Maybe they had talked too loudly; Blair disliked a little that her daughter had interrupted a conversation she wanted to hear, although she wasn't sure Yale and Princeton had been the only topics of their conversation.

She took the baby in her arms and asked if she wanted to eat. Of course the baby would not stop crying. She thought maybe that wasn't what she wanted, so she smelt her back. Damn, it stunk so badly. She definitely needed a change, that was why she was moaning.

She got off the bed in no time while Chuck's attentive eyes followed her. He still wondered why she hadn't asked him to leave yet. Anyhow, he didn't mind staying at all.

"Do you want to see how a diaper's changed, Bass?"

Chuck rubbed his left eye and smirked. "Since I'm here" he agreed, stood up and reached her next to the changing table.

Blair was happy of his positive response, it just meant that he wanted to participate in the child's life at least. Or so she hoped.

She was distracted by the bad smell of Audrey's current diaper, she needed to throw it away quickly. "Alright. You need to clean the baby before you can change her. Here, gimme those towels" she pointed at a small box with the face of a newborn on it. "Like this. You check if you've cleaned her well" she added, showing him how to help the legs of the baby up.

He wasn't tense, but it was weird to see his own daughter like that. Blair seemed to notice his face, and she demanded him what was wrong.

"Can't stand the smell?"

He shook his head and chuckled. "No, it's not that. I... this is the very first time I'm seeing her naked. It feels strange."

She was surprised to say at least. "Chuck Bass is embarrassed to see a woman – well, little girl... naked? The world is ending soon."

"But she is my -" He couldn't explain it well.

Blair turned to him, expecting. She hoped he would say that word.

"She's just a newborn. I'm not a pedophile." He managed to say, leaving Blair a little sad. But she could understand him, it was all new. She couldn't expect him to adjust to his new role soon. Hell, she still didn't know if he would be seriously take this.

She pretended to feel blah about his comment, then she finished changing Audrey and helped her in her Christmas rompers.

"Now you're all clean and smell nice!" she said, taking the baby to kiss the top of her head.

She was about to take her daughter with her downstairs, but felt like she couldn't move to turn. And that's when she noticed it.

She hadn't seen how he had done it, but he was letting the child hold his index. When he noticed that she had seen him, he wanted to let it go. They glanced at each other until she wasn't able to hold his stare anymore. Damn, he looked so concerned and loving... or maybe his eyes were deceiving her. Although she had seen those eyes one time before then, she still thought he wasn't sold yet. She had to ask him about his intentions very soon.

"I think I have to go" he then said, moments after he could let go of Audrey's hand.

Blair wanted to tell him to stay, invent whatever excuse or hope there was still a snowstorm outside, but she didn't do it. "You're going back to your house?" she asked, just because she was curious if he had other plans she didn't know of.

He nodded. "Yes. It will be peaceful without Bart and the others."

"But... Chuck. It's Christmas. The penthouse may be empty but -" she tried to convince him as they walked downstairs. "Are you sure you want to remain alone?" She didn't want to use that word, but it was too late.

"I've already took you time to be with your father yesterday. I think you may want to spend the day with him, since he's going to leave soon."

"I – of course I want to. But you should spend this time with someone too."

What she was doing? She was really asking him to stay for one more hours? And here he thought Blair hated him... "I need to change my clothes at least. It's not nice to be seen by your father in the same suit I had when I first got here."

She smiled. He had said yes! Although he hadn't really said that word out loud. "Will you?"

"Just give me one hour or two to freshen up. I'll be here for lunch." Chuck agreed as he looked through the coats to take his. "I will make it."

"Alright" she nodded. "We'll be – she will be waiting for you to get back" she corrected herself, again not wanting to use the words that indeed came out of her mouth. She didn't want him to feel the pressure to tell her his intentions regarding the baby.

Chuck got ready to go and soon disappeared into the elevator of her penthouse. She was cheerful that he would get back to spend more hours with her and the baby. Although she didn't know if that was the real reason why he would come back. He could be just be okay with the lunch because he didn't want to stay alone on Christmas.

She hoped that he would make his intentions clear later.

"He's going to come back, Audrey. Your father will come back" she murmured to the baby, who had started crying loudly.

For the first time in months, her baby's cry didn't bother her so much. She felt happy and wished that she would feel even happier from now on. Oh, and she had just referred to Chuck as the 'father' of her daughter. She pleaded not to be deluded.

…

A couple of hours later she had showered, fixed her hair and changed into fresh clothes. She had chosen to wear something red, and had changed her baby in a Christmas ensemble too.

She went downstairs to do something and to wait for Chuck to return, even if she was telling herself not too wait too much because he was prone to disappoint her. Nevertheless, she thought he might not come back at all for all she knew.

"Morning, Blair" Harold Waldorf greeted her. "And Audrey, you look so cute in your dress" he added, touching the nose of her baby and making her laugh. "Isn't too early to be up?"

Blair shrugged. "Well, there... there were some things I had to take care of."

"Something unexpected? Is everything okay?" he led her towards the couch.

"Yes, dad. Everything is fine" she managed a smile.

Harold frowned. "You're hiding something. Talk to me, Blair."

"It's... nothing, really. Audrey coughed a couple of times and I was afraid she'd get sick again, that is all." She lied. Of course she wouldn't tell her father that Chuck Bass had _slept_ in her bed next to their baby girl. Something that would be _normal_ if they were a couple or married.

He nodded. "I'm glad, then. So tell me, everything went well with Charles?"

Why did he ask about that? "He remained here because of the snowstorm. We talked a little."

"Did you two talk about Audrey? You know, his intentions with the baby. I'm asking you because he's seen you with her and I was surprised he knew everything already."

Blair sighed. "He knows everything. But I wasn't the one who told him" she admitted.

"How did he find out? Did Serena... this would be the right moment for you to say it publicly anyway. Now that Audrey is a little older."

She looked down at her hands. "I will think about that, dad. For now, I think it's enough that Chuck knows it. He had a paternity test done."

Harold was surprised. "I didn't expect from him. I'm amazed. Then he must have told you about his intentions?"

"I have no idea" she shook her head. "That is what I hope. You know, with Chuck nothing is for good. His intentions are often hidden."

"Blair, that is understandable. He just found out that he has a daughter, he wants time to think about the whole thing." Harold tried to reassure Blair. "And he's just seventeen."

She agreed. "But... what if he doesn't come back?" she wondered out loud, her voice impatient and full of anxiety. She thought she looked so desperate.

Harold raised an eyebrow. "My dear, do you feel something for him?"

She thought that question was too sudden. "Me? No! Nope!" she hurried to answer. She knew that if she hadn't applied foundation, her father would see her cheeks red right now.

The old man didn't seem to agree with her answer. "I'll just believe that is true, Blair Bear."

The sound of the elevator stopped that conversation they were having, to Blair's pleasure. She was sure that her father knew that she liked Chuck. After all, they had had a baby together. He must have thought they had sex because they had feelings for each other, not because she was too sad Nate didn't want to say I love you to her that night so she decided to be wild.

She was joyful it was Chuck when she peeked from the couch. He walked slowly towards the furniture with a serious and detached face. He had changed his outfit entirely, coat included, and he took that off soon to give it to the maid. He had had her idea: he was wearing a red jacket suit and grey pants. Perfect for Christmas.

"How are you doing, Charles?" Blair's father greeted him.

"Mr Waldorf."

"Will you join us for lunch today?" he asked, genuinely interested of the answer.

Chuck glanced at Blair for long before he focused back on her father. "Blair invited me."

"Yes, daddy. If you don't mind" she told him with a coquettish voice. She had to stop being so sweet like sugar. She felt too weird.

Harold shrugged and stood up. "The house is yours, Blair Bear. I'll be happy to have your friend for lunch. Although now I have to go out, I need to do something." He informed them, then he kissed Blair's forehead and patted Chuck's shoulder before he headed to the elevator.

_They were finally alone_, Blair thought.

Chuck sat down in front of her while she was playing with Audrey in the baby carriage next to her. "One, two, three!" she was saying cheerfully to the baby so that she would laugh. It was unusual to play with her daughter with an audience formed by no less than Chuck. At this point she was sure he wouldn't out her to the school. But she had to be careful, she didn't want to do something that may hurt his pride and that would make him spill the beans. "Who is the most beautiful girl in New York City? It's you!"

He was watching them silently and was grinning at Blair's silly words. "You know, I never thought I would see something like this before now" he told her, making her stop and turn towards him. Her face was like, _what? _"Come on, I don't need to remind you who you are. I'm just... surprised, that's all." He added, trying to smirk.

She raised her eyebrows and got back to her baby. "There is always a first time for everything. Ours took me here."

"Yeah. But the result wasn't that bad, right?"

She had to turn again. "Not bad at all." She just said, and she meant it. Despite she hadn't really wanted the baby at first, she had to admit Audrey was beautiful. And it wasn't just because she was a pretty girl, Chuck was a handsome guy too.

She started to think that if they would have another child, it would come out beautiful as well because of their genes. But she had to stop imagining those things. That was the first and last child she would ever have with Chuck Bass.

…

"Merry Xmas, B!" Serena called Blair a few hours after lunch. "Everything is well?"

"Serena, Merry Christmas to you too. Everything is fine."

She heard her friend say _ummm_ on the other side. "I'm not sure about that. Your voice looks weird, did something happen?"

Blair thought she could tell her best friend about what had happened the night before. She wouldn't tell it to anybody. "I slept with Chuck." She admitted, hoping to clarify herself before the blonde would scream in astonishment.

"What? Again?"

"You didn't let me explain, Serena! I didn't exactly sleep with him. We didn't have sex if that's what you thought. He just fell asleep on my bed while we were talking about our future with the baby resting next to each other..."

"For someone who claimed to hate Chuck for ruining your life with a baby at the age of eighteen, you are making it all seem so romantic."

She sighed. She didn't intend do. There was nothing romantic about she and Chuck and their baby, at least not yet. "What? You're wrong. I hate him. I hate him with every fiber -"

"I'm sorry but I don't believe you do" Serena interjected. "He is still the father of your child! And now that he knows the truth, things can change between you. You may not see this now, but it will. The baby will show you the right path."

Blair thought Serena had had too much to drink on that holiday. "We'll see about that" she replied coldly as her mind was filled with thoughts on the matter.

"Have faith in him. He may surprise you."

"Since when you're on team Chuck Bass, Serena? I thought you detested him."

Serena laughed on the other hand. "I may have loathed him, that is true. But since when we've started living under the same roof, I came to appreciate some sides of him. He is not that bad at all."

The brunette rolled her eyes. "Alright, S. You'll tell me about it when you get back from your trip. I need to go now, my father would ask himself where did I go."

"Have fun with Chuck and your baby" the girl wished her.

Blair snorted as her best friend told her that and then hung up without adding another word.

She started fixing her dress when she closed the call with Serena. She had left to go to her room with the excuse of needing to clean up her dress because the baby had spilled something on it. But it was a lie, because Audrey hadn't dirtied her dress, she just wanted to tell her friend about the day she had had and was having. And she honestly wanted her to comment on that.

What Serena had told her was true, she knew it was. She was sure that the more time she would spend with Chuck, the more she would trust him and being attracted to him. She knew that he felt something too, although so far she believed it was only sexual. She didn't think Chuck could ever develop anything more. He wasn't a guy like Nate, someone who knew how to love and be monogamist (besides from that one time when he had slept with her best friend two years before).

Chuck was anything but a one-girl guy. He was a womanizer and he had never loved anybody but himself, and she wasn't ever sure underneath he was fond of who he was.

It still remained that his glances, both yesterday and today, had been very concerning and loving. He looked really interested in the baby and prone to continue that relationship as a father of a random family would do.

It was him who stopped her train of thoughts. He had gone upstairs wondering where she had been. "I thought you had fallen asleep."

She had managed a smile when she saw him standing next to the door frame. "It took longer than I thought it would."

"No problem."

It descended an awkward silence on the room. Blair didn't know how to answer and he hadn't moved an inch from the door so that they could go downstairs together. She thought he was meaning to say something when he cleared his throat after a while, but he didn't.

"Shall we go?" she proposed, but he raised a hand to beg her to wait.

"I... I think we need to talk" he finally declared, making her anxious. She nodded and sat down on her bed as he started talking. "You know how much this is new and hard for me. It is less harder than what it was for you, I know, but it's still tough."

"When I found out I was expecting, I wanted to die." She confessed.

He nodded. He didn't exactly wish to disappear, but he was uncertain of what to do. "I never thought that I'd be a father so young – and like this. But it happened, and I tried to look at the whole thing in the best way possible. I – I"

Her heart was beating fast as he was talking. He had made a decision. She couldn't wait to find out what it was.

The moment was intense and eternal. Damn, why he was taking all that time to answer?

"Miss Blair, Mr Chuck!" they heard calling from outside of the room. It was Dorota. "Come downstairs, baby saying some syllables she never said before!"

Blair rolled her eyes at her maid's interruption. It was the worst of times, but after all she was glad of her daughter's progresses that she stood up from the bed and run to the living room to hear what was Audrey saying now. Chuck followed her.

Her father was sitting on the couch with her daughter on his lap. The baby was giddy, her hands were wide and moving as she was babbling indistinct words.

"Blair, she is close to say something that makes sense" her father told her.

"What did she say, dad? She's said syllables before. Not the way they should be said, but she did." She really wanted to get back to her bedroom to continue the conversation she was having with Chuck.

"Just wait, Blair Bear" Harold said.

They stared at the baby for a couple of minutes until she screamed something. "Ma!" that was what she had pronounced. Blair knew she had rarely exclaimed such syllables. _Oh my God, let her say mama_, she thought. She had been waiting for that moment for so long.

Harold tried to push the baby to say something. "Audrey, this is your mama" he said, pointing his finger towards a smiling Blair. The little child soon focused on her and said _ma!_ again, without adding more. "And this is your dada" he unexpectedly added, to Blair and Chuck's surprise.

She didn't dare to look at Chuck next to her because she was afraid that he'd appear like he didn't want to be known with that title. Audrey was too little to say mommy and daddy or simply mama or dada, but it wasn't up to them when she was going to pronounce the words.

The baby stayed silent for long under their expectant eyes, until she said more. "Da!" she exclaimed this time, and repeated it for two times. Blair swore she was looking at Chuck but it could be just her imagination.

"Dad, have you heard it?" she looked for confirmation, and he nodded.

"Da da" the baby said once again as she extended her arms towards him. "Da da da!"

Blair sighed and felt something moving inside of her. No, she wasn't saying dada but she was still saying those syllables, she was pronouncing that group of letters before others she was sure she would be keep saying after the first time. After all, up to the day before, Audrey had just a mother and not a father. It was all new.

She felt a little uneasy and realized she was about to cry, so she decided to do something sudden and turned her back towards the elevator. She searched for her coat and handbag until she found it, then got inside of the cabin before anybody could follow her.

She had just heard her father ask her where was she going, but she didn't bother to answer.

….

She didn't know where she was headed. She had left stubbornly and she would be going somewhere unexpected. "Where are we going, Miss Waldorf?" the driver had asked, but she was yet to give him an answer. She finally opted for a destination – she was sure no one would disturb her there.

It didn't take long to arrive to the place she had asked to be taken too. She was annoyed that it the time was flying so quickly. She needed some moments to think and realize what had made her literally run away from her house. But all could she think of, was that she had asked her driver to go to one of the places she despised her the most.

_Brooklyn, really Blair?_ She had cursed herself internally. She could have said another place at least.

She got out of the car and told the driver to wait for her, she would be getting something to eat before they would leave again. She had eaten lunch but her pensive mood was making her both angry and hungry. She went inside of what it looked like a little bar and searched for an empty spot among the many already occupied.

She finally found a place in the corner, wondered if it was right to sit down or if she would get some disease. It didn't look quite dirty so she decided to give in, her heels were already killing her feet.

She looked around. There were all kinds of people: from the family with three kids who were eating a dish of hamburgers, to the older woman who was smiling at her phone while sipping tea, to a group of teens who sure weren't anything royal and kept throwing insults and the F word around.

That was the worst place she would bump into on Christmas night, but it was all her fault if she had asked her driver to take her there. As if it wasn't enough disgusting being there, one of the people whom she couldn't bear showed up.

Blair wrinkled her nose when the known face came close to her table. "Of all people, I never thought you'd be sitting in front of me tonight."

"Neither did I, but that is none of your business." She answered roughly.

"Do you want to order something, Blair? Because you know, if you just want to warm the seat, you better leave now."

She rolled her eyes. "I obviously didn't come for you, Vanessa. I've already done charity this month."

Vanessa laughed and rolled her eyes as well. "Do you wanna eat or not, Blair?"

Blair frowned and looked at the handbag she had placed on her legs. "Give me a menu and I'll let you know" she proposed, while the curly girl turned and extended her hand to do so. She hesitated for a few seconds. "Is that... clean?"

The girl was staring to get annoyed. "Just read it if you wanna eat" she placed it in front of her.

Blair wrinkled her nose again and started to turn the pages slowly. All the things on the menu were cheap and not fat-free as she would have liked. She didn't know what to order, she knew anything would be full of oil and bad for health.

"Don't you have rabbit?"

Vanessa was cursing everyone inside. "Are you kidding me?"

She thought that yes, she was making fun of her. But what she could expect from that place? In the end she decided for two dishes of fries. They were one of the foods she thought would be less caloric on the list. Or the fattest. Anyway, she didn't care at this point.

While she was waiting, she checked her phone. Nobody had texted nor called her. Bad. She wondered why they hadn't looked for her. Were they too busy with the baby? Would she be saying more syllables while she was out? She sighed.

All that she could think of, was that her baby had said _da_. She hadn't said the entire word, but half of it. The only nice thing was that she had said ma before, she had heard her the week earlier too. But how could she had pronounced da? She had seen her father for just two days and honestly, she had just referred once to him as her dad.

And when she had clung on to him? That was the top of it all. Of course a side of her was happy for that because Chuck hadn't looked like he didn't want anything to do with the baby. But at the same time, she knew that it wasn't eternal and that probably he would leave...

She blew some air on her hands to warm them up. She wondered why they didn't have heating plants in Brooklyn.

"Blair? Blair Waldorf?" she heard someone ask while she was getting bored of waiting for her fries.

Too bad she knew that voice. She raised her head, glaring at the guy. "Great. Not only I met the master of this cesspool, but also her best friend." She commented.

"Serena... wait. Yes, it's Blair in-in Vanessa's bar" Dan said on the phone.

She rolled her eyes. Now Serena would know about her misery too, what a wonderful day that was going to be. "Don't bother me, Humphrey. Your little friend already did."

The guy put his phone back in his coat and snorted as he walked away from Blair's table to reach his best friend Vanessa behind the counter of the bar. She was angry that was the only place open that night. She had met the only people she didn't want to see.

The curly girl brought Blair her fries and then she saw them leaving with Serena's boyfriend because her work time had ended. _Thankfully_, she thought.

The fries didn't look bad when she started eating them. She didn't want to admit it, but although they seemed full of oil, they were still a little delicious. Once she ate most of the dishes, she paid the bill and then went to the bathroom. Not to do anything, she just needed to check herself in the mirror.

She looked terrible. Her make up had run out and her hair were in disarray. She looked like someone who had just woken up from a long nap. She hated her reflection because it reminded of her faults and the things she had done in the past.

She soon felt guilty for all the fries she had eaten. _Two dishes, really? And with all those fats?_ She was seriously out of her mind today. She was anxious and needed a drink or two to move on and feel better about herself, but she couldn't use anything because she was still breastfeeding Audrey, so she decided to try something else.

She had done it before, not so long she found out she was pregnant. She could do it once, could she? Nobody could say anything, she was hidden in a bathroom bar in no less than Brooklyn. No one would know.

As she lowered her back, she promised herself she would do it for the last time. She just needed to let go of the fats and all the worries and fears – just one time.

She threw all that she had inside into the toilette. She tried to forget Audrey's syllables and Chuck's possible feelings for her, or his intentions towards their daughter. She tried to believe she hadn't had a daughter with one of the most risky guys of the Upper East Side and that Nate hadn't cheated on her with Jenny. All had been cleaned up, beautiful, perfect.

Getting back to reality was the hardest thing to do. Once she stopped vomiting her soul, she sighed and decided she would at least try to do it. Nothing had happened in that bathroom. Nothing. She had successfully been careful enough not to fall in old habits thanks to her doctor, but she had to face that she couldn't anymore. But it was one time, right?

She went back to reality once her phone vibrated. It was Gossip Girl.

Spotted: Blair Waldorf... in Brooklyn?! We never thought a queen like you would meet with plebeians, what happened? Santa didn't bring you what you wanted, huh? Truth is, after you dear Prince Nate has left you for one of those low class bitches, your life has gone downhill. First you leave the winter ball early, then you are seen with no less than Chuck Bass? Wow, what can we say. Sometimes old flames burst again. Be careful not to burn yourself!

She snorted. She thought Dan had sent the tip that she was there, or Vanessa. They were the only ones who had seen her. She couldn't ask Humphrey because he had left, but once she fixed her clothes and hair and she went out of the bathroom, she had her sign. No, it hadn't been him for once. But two girls who were staring at her and laughing.

She couldn't be there any longer, so she furiously reached the exit and run in her car. Brooklyn scared her and she didn't want to risk anything outside. Her driver wondered if she needed to go somewhere else, and she told him to wait. Where could she go? She didn't want to get back home. Not yet at least, although she was feeling lonely.

"Let's go to Central Park" she finally decided, and her driver took off very fast.

Central Park was in the dark if not for few street lamps that lightened up the place a bit. She found a bench, one of the many available since the site wasn't full of people, and she sat down. That would be a quiet and hidden place to hide from little girls who could spot her.

She checked her phone again. Nothing. Well, now she knew everyone wanted to find her and be certain she was okay. She felt ironically comforted. She looked down and looked at her hands without knowing what to do. The bar she had just been to had a lot of people to criticize, but there... not many were walking at the time of the day and on that holiday. Surely she wouldn't remain there to sleep like a hobo, but she would wait before she would get back. Maybe when everyone would be asleep, since she was sure no one would wait for her.

At some point, she jolted. "Mmmh" a voice said.

She looked up to find Chuck staring at her, his face was serious. "It isn't possible to have a little peace around here? God forbid the wannabes who send tips to Gossip Girl" she complained, but at least he had found her. And she didn't expect him to.

"I didn't read any blast, Blair."

"How did you find me?" she then asked, avoiding his eyes as he sat down next to her.

"Serena called me. She was worried for you."

Blair rolled her eyes. "I knew it. Humphrey was on the phone with her when he saw me at Vanessa's bar earlier. That traitor. And you could had avoided to get back here only because Serena had told you to. Go away."

"I didn't come here because Serena hinted me where you could be. I'm here because I was really looking for you."

"I want to be alone" she said, holding on her handbag tightly and looking away.

"Nobody should be alone on Christmas, Blair. And I know you don't want to really be alone."

"What do you know" she giggled.

He sighed. "I know things didn't go as you may had planned, but. I think that they won't ever go as we believe they will. Like, I never thought I would be a father at my age. But it happened. And as I was trying to tell you before Dorota interrupted us this afternoon, I'm all in to try to take my responsibilities."

She turned when she heard his words. "This means that you..."

He grinned. "I'm not going anywhere, Blair."

She shook her head. "You are saying this now, but what about tomorrow? What about next month? I don't know. You didn't carry a baby for nine months inside of you and then started taking care of her all alone for the first four of her life. You don't know how hard it is to keep up with Audrey and school, with the minions, with everything. You _weren't_ there." She was relieved of Chuck's confession, but she didn't know why she had answered him like that. Him being there for their daughter was the only gift she needed for Christmas.

"I wasn't there because you didn't let me to."

She turned to him, she was trying hard not to cry. "What would you have done if you were in my shoes? If you got pregnant of a guy that is known around Manhattan just for his conquers and not for his personality! A womanizer."

He was getting a little mad, she thought. She saw him roll his eyes as he stood up. "Please. I won't deny who I am, but I can be given a chance. I deserve it as the father of that little child. I've told you, I don't want to go anywhere. I'm ready to take my responsibilities."

"Nobody can assure me that" she murmured, her voice too low. She hoped he hadn't heard her, but he did. He looked one more time at her, he looked tired. He turned his back and started to walk away, although she wasn't sure he would leave or he would just go back and forth. She instinctively jumped off the bench to go after him. She didn't want him to go. "You're leaving already, you see?" she provoked him.

He stopped walking and turned to look at her. He looked destroyed and defenseless. "Didn't you say you wanted to be alone? I'm granting your wish."

"What about the baby? Chuck? What about her?" she asked as he kept walking away.

He stopped again. "I will come tomorrow to spend time with her since you're bothered with my presence at the current moment."

She thought it was time to act. Okay, she had accused him of various things, but what she wanted in that moment was what he had told her. And his presence in their lives. She didn't think twice and went after him, he was luckily walking at a slow pace so she could circle her arms around him more easily. "Please, don't go." She begged.

He stopped once she did that. She wasn't sure he would leave after she was practically demanding him to be there with her. She expected for a quick one liner he used to say during those moments, but he didn't say anything, so she decided to act.

She moved around him until she was facing him. He had a stern look up on his face. She put her hands around his neck and then she reached his lips to kiss him. At first he was cold and stiff, but then he opened up and kissed her back, more fiercely than she remembered.

"What was that for?" he wondered when she recoiled back.

"Count it as my Christmas gift." She smirked, then she took his hand and the two walked back to his limo.


	14. Fireworks

After Christmas and the kiss she had shared with Chuck in Central Park, things had radically but not totally changed. It was too good to be true. She hadn't lived a week like that in years, and she didn't want it to ever end. He had been the perfect guy. Every day since then, he would come to her house and stay until late at night. They wouldn't go out because it was risky, but Blair didn't mind it because it was enough being just the three of them inside her penthouse since her father had left on the 26th.

This Chuck was different than the one she used to know. He was acting like when they faked they were together. He was caring, tender, sweet, and he had also given both Blair and their daughter so many gifts, one of them being a golden bracelet with Audrey's name on it, the same one he had also given to her on Christmas Eve.

Obviously Gossip Girl had noticed that. There were continuous sightings of him getting in and out of Blair's building every single day. The blogger thought it was a pattern and that he was going there because they were having a secret relationship. That wasn't too far from the truth, except for the secret affair.

Between Chuck and Blair nothing serious was going on, at least yet. After their Christmas effusions, there had only been kisses here and there, mostly when Dorota wasn't around. They still hadn't had sex and Blair was glad because she wanted to hold on for a while, at least until she would feel like it. If this thing would go on, let's be honest.

"Dorota, have you told the florist about those peonies I needed?"

"Yes, Miss Blair."

Blair was proud of her maid. "Well done! This means you'll have a free day since it's New Year's Eve. And you can go out with your boyfriend. Have you got a boyfriend, haven't you?"

The woman nodded and turned to leave. "Thank you, Miss Blair."

The brunette frowned. What? "Dorota?" she called her again, and the maid sighed before she looked at her boss again. "Who is your boyfriend? You never told me about that."

She looked down, she could tell she was shy about this. "It's Vanya, Mr Chuck's doorman."

"Vanya? Oh my gosh, I'm really happy for you, Dorota!" she exclaimed, hugging her.

"Yes Miss Blair, I am happy too like you happy with Mr Chuck."

"Mr Chuck what?" asked a voice from behind with perfect timing.

"Chuck!" Blair looked at him with a wide smile. "Dorota was just telling me she's your doorman's girlfriend."

"Congrats. I knew that already. He told me the other week."

Blair smiled widely at Chuck and then at Dorota, subtly ordering her to leave them alone. She did as asked and they were finally alone.

"How is Audrey today?"

She walked towards the counter with bottles so that she could get him a drink. "She's still sleeping. It's early for her. And it's weird because she's usually up and crying for milk at this hour of the day." She stopped talking until she finished his scotch. "What about you, Bass?"

Chuck decided to tease her. "Wonder why you're interested in my mood and health."

She raised an eyebrow, she had noticed his joking smile. "What's wrong with that? You may have a virus you could pass the baby. And that would make me hate you forever."

He sighed. "Sadly for you, I'm completely healthy."

She pretended to be sad for real. "What a pity."

Her expression changed as soon as he leaned in to kiss her. This sudden touch was unpredictable, same as many others she hadn't expected after Christmas. And he hadn't pressured her to go forward, this was very unusual for Chuck. She wondered why. Could it be possible that he was being gentle with her because he felt something more?

Only future would tell.

….

Chuck had invited her to a party at the Palace on New Year's Eve. Serena had organized it, so Blair didn't think twice before confirming she would be going. There would be old and young people, but Chuck's father Bart and Lily Van der Woodsen, would be still abroad.

Blair felt this would make him feel comfortable. Chuck had greeted his father in bad ways before he had left for his vacation with his wife. She was sure he would think twice before attending a party where he would be seeing him.

She had left Audrey with Dorota and she was sure she would be alright. Her mother was also around because she had come briefly to celebrate the new year; her daughter was definitely in good hands. She hoped that nothing would happen like few weeks earlier.

Chuck had picked her up with his limo around 9pm and they went to the Palace in no time since it wasn't that far from her house. The hotel was wonderfully put together. The party planner Serena had hired had set tables and lights the way that should had been organized for that kind of event. She thought that she would ask her about it.

Blair tried to look for her best friend when she arrived. She and Chuck weren't showing any signs to the public that they _might _be together. They were close, yet very far from each other, at least physically. She knew their hearts might be entwined more than ever.

"Hey, B!" Serena called for the brunette. At least she had found her now.

"Wow, you did a great job, Serena." She commented, looking around her and noticing things she hadn't from the entrance. "It's perfect!"

"I'm glad you like it! I'm very proud of this party" she said as she brushed her forearm. She turned to her stepbrother, then, smiling that he was there. "Chuck, I'm happy that you could come!" she exclaimed, her tone went a little high on the last word. She didn't exactly gesture something to Blair, but she tried to let her know she wanted the details later.

Chuck smiled, looking at Blair and then back at Serena. "As you see, I've found a _partner_."

The way he said it, made Blair skip a beat. She thought he would be open with Serena, after all she was a close friend – or so she thought giving the fact that they were now parents.

Serena smirked at her best friend knowingly, her suspects were probably founded. "I wish you have fun, then. I have to check a few things. We'll catch up later." She said, then she went away and disappeared in the crowd the same way she'd arrived.

"She smelled something is going on." Blair bit her lip, not realizing what she had said. Damn. She didn't look at her partner, or whatever Chuck was at that moment. She didn't want to see his expression, he would probably bring up the topic – what were they? _Were they an item?_ She feared what he would answer, and this was a little worse than what she was demanding from him not so long before.

If Chuck would have told her he didn't want to have anything to do with their daughter, she would have made peace with her heart and accept it. It had been easier to do it for months, and she already expected that he would do that. But this was different. This was a different kind of commitment. This was Chuck Bass _dedicating_ himself to a woman, a _single_ woman. This was him _maturing_, giving up his womanizing ways for her. She thought she had to stop thinking so highly of this matter. Sooner or later, she felt things may change with him. But she wasn't sure if for better or for worse.

He glanced at her and smirked. Yes, he smiled so handsomely at her, but he didn't comment on her affirmation. She wanted to know what was going on in his mind, too bad she was hungry and the next thing she knew, she had lead him to the buffet.

Blair ate _a lot_. She didn't know why on Earth she was so damn hungry. Maybe it was just appetite, she thought. She hadn't eaten properly ever since her baby had been born, she decided it could have been that. It wasn't related to what had happened on Christmas day. No, it couldn't be. That was just an isolated episode and she had been angry then.

Meanwhile, Chuck had left her to greet some businessmen he knew because of Bart. She was sure he wasn't that far from her, and that he was observing what she was doing. He had noticed her changes when she got pregnant and believed she was bulimic again. It wouldn't be hard for him to wonder if she was having problems now. He was good at reading her.

She was too caught up in thinking about him that she didn't realize Serena was right next to her. "Chuck, huh?"

She looked perplexed at her friend. "He's not my partner."

Serena raised an eyebrow. "That's what he said, though. Didn't you hate him? Has something happened while I was away?" she elbowed her lightly.

"No way!"

She didn't look satisfied of the answer but she knew that the brunette didn't want to admit it yet. "I knew it. You like him. And you like him _a lot_."

Blair blushed and looked away. It was the truth and she was sure Serena was smart and understood. "He... he... I don't like him at all. We're just friends, that's it. He may have spent Christmas Eve and the day after at my house, but nothing else happened. Besides random visits to Audrey, I haven't seen him until today."

"Come on, don't lie to me! I've seen the pics on Gossip Girl. You've kissed next to the duckpond, Blair! You don't kiss everyone there."

She sighed. Caught. Ugh, damn GG. "First of all, I _don't_ kiss everyone. And second, that is a place like another. It was casual that I was there with him and that we kissed. It was a mistake. Chuck knows it too."

Serena wasn't sure. "Don't deny it. You like him!"

Her best friend was being too nosy and she didn't want to think about it. She didn't quite know in which kind of situation she and Chuck were. She didn't want to tell her that they had been kissed more than once and he treated her as if she was his wife or almost. She wished she hadn't to confess her _everything _and on that night. She just wanted to have fun. She just wasn't ready to talk about those things – _her_ feelings for Chuck and well, _his_. She had no idea about any of those matters.

She took another appetizer and ate it. She wanted her friend to talk about something else.

She knew Serena wouldn't give up. In fact, she asked more questions and this irate her a little. "Are you playing house like few months ago?"

She faced the blonde with a frown, but then decided it was good as a cover for the moment. "Kind of, kind of. I don't know, S. I can't explain."

Serena was thinking about an answer to give her but it seemed as if she was lost in her thoughts too much to say anything. She was lucky that a waitress called the girl and she had to see what she needed. She wished her goodbye for the second time that evening, and eventually went away, leaving her peacefully alone again.

Once with her thoughts, Blair felt an ache coming from her stomach. It was that kind of pain you felt when you were full. She decided it wasn't a big deal, but that she had to run to the restrooms to check herself out. She could feel the food coming up, and she didn't want to make a fool of herself if she would vomit in the middle of the ballroom.

She did what she had done few days before. Knelt down, looking that her dress wouldn't stain with any liquid, and then poured her soul into the white accessory. Easy. It had been very easy, if someone would ask her.

She felt free and light like she hadn't felt before. Seeing from this prospective, doing this wasn't really bad like she had thought. Maybe she could do it every once in a while, she realized. It wouldn't hurt her figure if she would keep herself this way, would it?

She didn't think about who could have seen her while she run towards the restrooms, until she closed the door shut behind her. She jolted, he was hiding in a darker corner of the hallway that lead to the toilets. He looked like one of those maniacs you saw on movies, the ones that want you to attack unexpectedly and you can't run away because he cornered you in a cul the sac. This image she had before her eyes was similar, except Chuck wasn't a thief and this wasn't a movie. She could walk away if she could.

She decided to play dumb. "Chuck. You don't hide in the dark like that!"

"I was looking for you." He said, his voice detached. He looked strange.

"Well, you've found me. Let's get back to the party" she proposed, walking away from the door of the restroom so that he would not ask questions. But he grabbed her wrist, and she stopped. He had been very gentle, but she still didn't want to make him wonder something had happened in there.

"Did you – did you do that again?" he asked. A simple and innocent question, with no subject. It could have been anything, but she knew what he was talking about. He was worried.

She managed a smile. She didn't want him to catch her. "Chuck, I just went to the restroom. I had to wash my hands and pee. Happy? Or you want to know the details?"

"Don't try to hide it. I saw you."

She frowned, her heart was jumping in her chest. She had to lie to him. She had to find something to tell him before he would understand she wasn't telling the truth. "You are very sensitive, but this is not the case."

He sighed and got closer to her. She could see his eyes sweeten, he wanted her to listen to him. "Blair. Please. We both know that is wrong."

"You're talking like my mother" she rolled her eyes, looking away. She wanted to run.

"Better. You'll understand that it's important for me that you stop that. It's not safe. Bad things may happen if you continue. Have you thought about the baby? There may be problems with the nursing."

She just wanted him to stop talking. "Stop it, Chuck."

"I won't stop until you _do_ stop. If you don't want to do it for me, at least do it for her."

"You don't have any right to talk about her. _ANY_. I know what's better for her and I'm going to take care of it. And you need to leave me alone."

She was impatient. She just wanted to shrug her shoulders and came back to the party, probably to eat more appetizers to kill the time, but she just stood there, anxious to know what he would answer her. She knew he was right, at least a part of her was aware. But that side was so little compared to the rest of herself, that she didn't dare to obey to it. She wasn't ready to face that. Not that night, not with Chuck.

He was battling with himself, she knew that. He wanted to tell her more, to argue with her, but he just didn't know what to say exactly. He knew that she wouldn't listen.

She saw him nod briefly and then he walked away. He had listened to her, but instead of being happy that he had stopped talking about her problem, she felt melancholic.

She didn't want to get back to the ballroom anymore, she thought. But where could she go? She could rent a room and hide until she would be ready for the new year, or she would call a cab and just leave the party and stay with her baby. So many options, although some of them didn't look the brightest.

She hated that whatever relationship with Chuck might have been ruined by that argument they had had five minutes ago. She liked him, she liked being with him and wanted his presence in her life and above all, in her daughter's. It was a blessing that he had showed her that he cared to be there to take his responsibilities. She didn't want him to change his mind or else, get in her house to see Audrey but to ignore her. They weren't like those divorced couples who had made deals on which day of the week they could see their child. They weren't even a couple.

She decided what she would do when she glanced at the door that led back to the party. She walked towards it but instead of getting through it, she went to the elevator and pushed the button, headed to a random floor. Besides three or four people – a group of sixty years old from Japan, nobody took the lift. She noticed on her phone that it was eleven-thirty, only half a hour to midnight.

Once the group of tourists left the elevator because they had reached their floor, she was completely alone and directed to nowhere. She had pushed a random button and wasn't surprised when she had stopped at the top of the building.

The elevator doors opened to the rooftop. There wasn't anything but glass doors in front of her that lead outside, where a calm wind was blowing. She could shiver already under the lace sleeves who covered her shoulders and arms.

She thought that it had been a bad idea to come up there and at that time. She wanted to find Chuck before midnight and she needed to get back to the party if she wanted to succeed. She would find no one if she remained there. Unless...

She noticed a presence outside. It was a man because she could see the back of his dark suit. He was turned, looking at the beautiful city around him. The landscape from the Palace hotel was marvelous, and Blair decided to venture outside to check the skylines when she noticed that ironically she had found what she was looking for.

Her heels ticked on the rocky surface of the rooftop. They echoed so much that made him turn. He wasn't surprised, she could tell.

"How did you find me" he muttered, it wasn't a question. Just a statement. He didn't want to know the answer, probably he was just relieved she was there.

She walked towards him. It was starting to get colder outside. "I wasn't looking for you" Blair offered, trying to make him think it was the truth. It was hard to lie to him and she had felt it on her skin. Chuck knew her very well.

He grinned faintly. "I thought you would be at the buffet right now."

She knew he was provoking her, and this time she wanted to play his game. She didn't want to get him mad. "Been there, done that. There's no need to wonder and you know it. Just say what you have to say, Chuck."

"Even if I do, you still won't listen to me. I'll refrain."

Blair wanted to prove him she was alright, that it had been just a casual episode. It didn't matter it was the second in one week. She bit her lip before spilling. "You don't have to worry" she said calmly. "It wasn't what you think."

He nodded. "If you say so."

Blair thought he was resigned. He didn't want to fight anymore and he had just fought for a brief moment. She decided that if he really cared for her, he would try to push the truth out of her. She knew she was in denial, maybe he could help her not to be anymore.

This was one thing she loved to hate about Chuck. He was mostly frank, he cared, but at the same time he kept many things to himself and was selfish. He had a double personality. Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. And she wasn't sure if he would ever show her his true colors. She was sure that he was worried, but he had to show it clearly.

Chuck wasn't talking anymore and neither did she. He was caught by something on the floor, that was were he was looking at. She had to talk, she decided. She needed to say something, even if she had to judge how he was dressed up.

Wrong words slipped from her mouth again. "Why do you care... why do you care so much?" She asked, not meaning to. She wanted to cover her lips with a hand but it was too late, her silent thought had become words.

His hazel eyes looked straight into hers. He meditated his answer for a lot of time. She could not wait anymore and just stand still there at some point, that she thought of cutting the distance between them and just kiss him, touch his lips as if he hadn't accused her that her eating disorder was back. But he was taking time, he was reasoning about what to say.

He sighed, took a deep breath and then smiled. He took her hand and squeezed it. She was expectant when he finally said something. "Because I -" he shook his head, he was chuckling to himself almost. "Well, I -"

Blair's mouth fell open and she just wanted to hear what she thought he was about to say. Those words that she had been dreaded so much to admit to her own self. She believed it was too good to be true.

_Fireworks_. Fireworks in the distance. _Midnight_.

She bit her lip and looked at his handsome features paralyzing. _Damn fireworks._ They ruined everything. Chuck didn't seem like he would continue anytime soon, and this made Blair do what she did. This time she cut their distance for real and kissed him. It was fierce and hard, it was fire, almost as the lights that were brightening up the sky around them.

Maybe it was too early for what she wanted. But with time, probably...

Chuck broke the kiss leaving her unsatisfied. She thought he would unlock their embrace and just leave her there, maybe he was still angry at what happened. But he surprised her. He kissed her again, this time more passionately than before.

"I thought you were still mad at me" Blair complained once it ended.

He smirked, brushing her cheek. "You already kissed me twice, Waldorf. I needed to get even." He whispered, kissing her again.

….

A little while later, they left the rooftop to reach a known place, Chuck's suite. Blair knew what was going to come next, and she wasn't complaining at all. She wanted that. She desired him and couldn't wait anymore, she had waited too long.

He kept kissing her and his kisses were like fire on her body, which he was slowly undressing of the lace she had been wearing that night. Around them, the fireworks were still thundering. The dark room would suddenly turn blue, red or green, and it was awesome. It was like a magic effect, and Blair couldn't ask for better for the first night she would have sex again after a long time where she had to be chaste.

While Chuck was walking his way through her, she thought that it would have been hard to restrain themselves from having sex, if they would have been married. You are supposed to wait a couple of weeks after you deliver, and Blair wasn't sure he would have been up to it. He loved to have sex with her, and now that she had agreed they could make love again, she was aware that she would be tempted to do it again and again that night (and the following days).

Her body moved sinuously with his as the colored bombs outside lit up the sky. His hands run everywhere nobody had touched after he had been the first one, over a year earlier. She found herself excited by the way his thumb graced a soft spot under her breast and her inner thigh. It seemed as if he had never left her tiny figure to herself all of those months when she was expecting their child. His hands always belonged there, all over her skin. And she didn't want his long fingers to ever abandon the inches of her body.

Chuck made love with her the same way he had the first time in the limo. Gently, sweetly, he had pierced into the deepest of her soul as if he had never done it before, as if that was their first time ever and she was still a virgin.

While she kissed him and he kissed her back with such vehemence, she was sure that she loved him. She loved him so much she was afraid one day he could realize that he didn't, and he would leave her and Audrey like she had expected him to do.

She knew he loved her too. And that was what he was meaning to say few minutes earlier on the top of his hotel. He wanted to tell her that he cared, that he was there for them and that he wouldn't left. Things he had already said and was proving, besides for the I love you.

They felt exhausted after they rolled under the silk sheets for a couple of times. They were so tired that they had fallen asleep, and her head lied on his chest. He was holding her waist in an embrace. It was making her feel safe, protected. She wished she could sleep every night like this, and for the second time or third that night, she realized that if they were married, they could have really done that. But they weren't married, they were just Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, and they had a little daughter. They didn't even know what they felt for each other.

_What a pity_, she thought. She didn't have the time to ask him about what he wanted to say on the rooftop.

She tried to get back to sleep and smiled at the romantic image that was forming in her head. She would be waking up still in his arms, grinning, and they would make love again before he would order room service and they would have breakfast together. But maybe not the morning after.

She opened her eyes again once she heard someone knocking on the suite door. Chuck woken up and rubbed his eyes, looking at her with a frown. "Do not worry about that, it surely is some drunk party goer who's still celebrating the new year. Let's go back to sleep."

She nodded and closed her eyes shut, but the knocks didn't end.

"Chuck! Chuck! Open the door, please! It's important!"

It was Serena. Blair was alerted when she heard her best friend. She took the shirt Chuck was wearing before they ended up on the bed, and got on the floor. He took his silk robe, instead, and they went to see what the blonde needed at four in the morning. He sworn that if it was stupid, his stepsister would pay. She ruined a moment he had expected for a year and half.

When Chuck opened the door, Serena was crying. He thought she was just drunk and hyper because of the party, but then he realized she was not. He exchanged a glance with Blair and then they expectantly waited for her to talk.

"What's wrong, Serena?"

Serena was shaking, she had barely noticed her best friend was there too. "There has been an accident. My mom, Bart – they had an accident."

Chuck didn't know what to do in that moment. He wanted to stay, oh, he wished he could stay. But his morals told him to go with his stepsister, so he let Serena in and while Blair tried to calm her down, he showered and changed into a very dark suit. When he got back to the ladies, Serena wasn't crying anymore. She stood up when she saw him and was ready to go. Blair had dressed as well and collected the coat and the bag from a chair before the three left.


	15. Believe me when I'm drunk

Hello all! I've had the time to revise this chapter earlier than usual, so I decided to post it. I don't have much to say besides that I'm happy that so many of you have reviewed and added this story to their faves. It means a lot to me and I hope that you'll like how it's developing. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. Now I'll leave you to the reading :)

…

He didn't know what to think of that night. Yeah, that year had started with fireworks and had given him what he had secretly wanted for over a year, but he knew it was a fragile and brief joy. He was sure that when he heard the knocks on the door the first time and had pretended to be asleep, it would be something serious.

At midnight, on the rooftop of the Palace, he'd felt an explosion in his heart. Not just that, he also felt a push coming from inside of him, a plea to open up and secure her to him so that he would be able to take care of her and to finally be honest about his feelings. But the lights in the sky had stopped him. Had slowed him down and had ruined the moment that had created between them. He would not dare to continue after the innocent accident, and the fate knew when he'd be able to do that again.

He had realized that he could have done it after they had passionately made love on the bed of his suite, but it didn't seem right. He could have looked like he was just meaning _I love having sex with you_, and not something deeper.

He would wait more time, he'd decided. Probably the perfect moment would come when he would take her to dine with him the day after – he had booked at a nice restaurant although she didn't know anything about it; he would have told her when he would have accompanied her to her house in the morning. Sad that it just wasn't meant to be. The events of the night had made impossible for him to see a date with her. Even if she would want to distract him from what had happened, he was sure she wouldn't agree to have fun while his father lied on a hospital bed, and Lily was injured as well.

Blair was like that. She worried too much about him although she didn't show it all the time. He knew she was exactly like him, but she was more maternal now that she had been a mother for a couple of months. He hoped that his daughter would change him too, he didn't want to follow his father's shadow in parenting his child. Hell, he didn't want anything to do with Bart. Still, he had rushed to get dressed and check on him and Lily after they had been taken to the Lenox Hill, with his stepsister and the girl whom he liked so much, in tow.

The brunette was sitting next to him in the limo, unable to say anything besides holding his hand. He had not looked at her once, and didn't want her to see the signs of anxiety appearing all over his face. Nobody had ever seen him so weak and incapable of doing anything to resolve a problem.

He still didn't know in details how were Bart and Lily, and he didn't dare to ask and nor would Blair. When Serena stopped sobbing at some point, and she confessed how things went.

"They were on the Bass Jet" she started, murmuring the words so lowly that they were almost inaudible. "The pilot felt sick, they've told me his heart probably failed since he's an old man. He felt it coming and he didn't land the way he should had. The jet clashed against a tower that lightened up the airstrip and soon a fire started in the back." He felt Blair's hand squeezing his more tightly. "They haven't told me anything about my mother and Bart. I have no idea if -" she trailed off, unable to continue. Chuck could hear her sighs from the other seat, and Blair moving towards her best friend to kiss her cheek. She was being the only sane and calm among them.

"Well, the jet has an insurance" he blurted out. He knew he had to refrain from saying those words, but he couldn't help it. He was sure the ladies were looking severe at him, but he didn't care nor he turned to check.

Blair probably suspected why he was so cold. He was having a hard time with his father and he supposedly didn't care too much for Lily. She had wanted to admonish him that money should had been their last problem that night, but she remained at her place, still holding his hand. He silently thanked her so much for not saying anything about his statement.

Shortly after their limo ride, they reached the big hospital. He thought that it was ironical that he and Blair had been there not so long before. He hated hospitals, and he had wished back then that he wouldn't have to go there again, but he'd been unlucky.

Eric was waiting for them at the entrance of the wing where his father and Lily were. Serena run to her brother, hugged him for a minute and then they walked through the glass doors that separated the area from the rest of the corridor.

He didn't know why but he felt as if the door was near yet too far. It seemed as if he wouldn't be able to reach it. It was then that he realized that he had stopped. His feet were stuck on the carpet and he wasn't moving. He wondered why, he felt sleepy and a little drunk, but the last time he had drunk anything had been before midnight. What was holding him back? The fear of knowing the truth? No, impossible. He didn't care about Bart and he wouldn't have gone there if he were simply his stepfather. But...

Blair squeezed his hand again. He had barely realized that she was still holding it. If it weren't for the place and the occasion, a casual person would have thought they were together. But it wasn't the right moment for his reveries, right?

"I'm here" the girl whispered soon. "Come on. You can make it."

It was then that he dared to look at her, to look at the girl with whom he had made love few hours before and that was standing next to him and was holding his hand. Her hair were messy and her make up had faded. Yet, she was still so beautiful for him.

He knew he was so nervous his eyes were a little red. But he couldn't stop holding her gaze. And she gave him the strength to walk again and get towards the unknown.

They saw Eric and Serena next to a door. Lily was with them, he noticed, and she didn't look bad but her arm was covered with a white bandage. His stepbrother and sister didn't turn when they heard Blair's heels click on the floor, but the older woman did. He wasn't sure, but in the midst of tension, she had smiled at him.

He decided to stop not so far from them. He didn't want to get closer, he didn't want to stay with them just because their mother happened to have married his father. He didn't want to be linked to them. The only family he'd recognized as today, was only formed by his daughter. And Blair, why not. They had made her together, and it looked as if they could be more than just their baby's formal parents. They could be a couple, perhaps.

"How are you doing?" Eric asked.

Lily looked at her son and grinned. "I'm fine. I only have this cut on my eyebrow and I've sprained my arm. But besides, I'm okay."

"What about..." Serena wondered, she didn't say his name. "How is he?"

His stepmother looked down. Her face turned grave and she let out a sigh when she talked. And a tear, he thought. "Bart is – he is in a coma. He has yet to wake up. The paramedics took us out of the vehicle quickly, I saw him conscious when I was on the stretcher. He probably hit his head and lost his consciousness later."

Chuck sighed. He felt a little relieved at least. He wasn't sure why, but even if he hated Bart so much, it made him feel better that he was still there and alive. He wondered if he would wake up anytime sooner, it could pass weeks, months or years.

His sudden urge was to turn his back and leave. He had heard in which condition Bart was, he could get back to the Palace now. He just wanted to get more sleep and distract with Blair, go to her penthouse and see Audrey. Anything but remain there in that hospital corridor. But instead of doing so, his feet didn't move.

It happened just like a while ago. He wasn't capable of making a decision, and Blair wasn't offering any help. He knew she would just not decide for him, but a part of him wanted her to.

They ended up sitting on a couch, not far from one where Serena and Eric were. Lily had got back into the private room where his father was and hadn't left it yet. They've spent almost three hours doing nothing, and in pure silence, until the woman showed her face again.

She looked at Chuck, and he was aware that she would tell him something. "You can see him if you want to." She was sobbing and looked devastated. He wondered why did she care so much for his father.

He sat there and thought about what to do. He was upset and wasn't able to decide what to do yet. How much he hated it. He let his mind choose for him. He stood up, then he said a simple affirmation to his stepmother. "Maybe I should get back home" he murmured. The hate and detachment in his being had won.

Lily seemed to understand. "He'll still be here when you come back." Her voice cracked, and he knew what she meant. He could wake God knew when. He could be gone for days and his father might still be lying on that hospital bed.

He nodded and then turned to leave. He heard Blair's heels behind him. She had quickly waved goodbye to her best friend and parents and was following him. He was walking too fast for her tired feet, so they could only catch up when they arrived to his limo at the underground garage of the hospital.

He still hadn't got in. He wanted to wait for her, now more than ever he felt he needed her to be with him. Even if he would refrain from talking, he wanted her by his side and couldn't fight it with his pride.

She looked at him with a severe expression. "Chuck, why did you leave?"

"I know you would've asked me this." He simply answered.

She came closer to him and brushed his hand with hers. She looked sad. "He's still your father after all" she tried to tell him, but she was aware that he wouldn't listen to those words. He wouldn't listen to anything that day.

He sneered at her without meaning to. And he knew she understood. "He's never wanted to be one."

"Maybe he has never showed it to you, but I think he'd like if you -"

He shook his head. "No. He has barely respected me as his son. He kept me from my own daughter because he thought I wasn't tailored to be a father. But the truth is that he was the one who wasn't. Instead of giving me up, he decided to be uncaring. I would have rather being lonely."

"Your father loves you, Chuck. Maybe he doesn't know how to show it... but I think he doesn't dislike you at all. And doesn't loathe Audrey either. He sent her dozens of toys for Christmas, and he is putting money on a bank account he created for her."

He knew that. But that still was as if Bart was trying to buy them rather than show affection for his only grandchild. He didn't want to hear more than that. He just wanted to run. He turned to open the door of the limo and asked a simple question. "Would you please...?"

"What?" she wondered, not getting what he wanted her to do.

He tried to rephrase what he'd been meaning to ask. "I want to see Audrey. Do you mind if we go back to your penthouse?"

She grinned. "Of course."

….

Two weeks after New Year's and Bart and Lily's accident, it was time to get back to school. It was a pity Christmas holidays were so short. They'd been the happiest period of Blair's life so far and she didn't want them to end. But she knew that the ending of the holidays would change things again.

Blair knew things wouldn't steady and move forward. She feared it. And although there was no proof that things had changed drastically and got back to what they were before, she was worried.

What bothered her the most was that Chuck had disappeared. They had spent a wonderful first day of the year together with Audrey. They had played together, eat together, and that night between the 1st and the 2nd, they had actually made love again.

She had hoped that he would finally open up about his feelings. She had showed him that she would stand by his side and wait that his father would wake up from the coma, but somehow, he had been too distracted to notice that.

She was aware that Chuck was still upset. He didn't know what to do, and the funny thing was that there was nothing that he could really help Lily with. Blair realized this made him feel a little guilty. He felt divided between the hatred for Bart and his duties as a son. She was sure he cared for his father despite their bad relationship.

And he also cared for Audrey, but it looked as if he was always checking on her when Blair was away from her penthouse. She thought Chuck wanted to do what Bart hadn't done for him, but what about her? She understood that he loved their daughter and wanted to be present in her life. Had he forgot that she was also there?

Blair wanted to think that he hadn't distanced himself from her, he was just too caught up in his own drama to have the time to distract with feelings. Yet, she was saddened. She was depressed because she was of the idea that he would be more relaxed and hopeful if he would spend more time with her.

She had talked to her best friend about it. Serena had told her that Chuck was often visiting his father at the hospital. She had known it from Lily, who was there most of the day. She had added that he never got in. He always waited outside, sitting on the couch in front of the door, but never dared to be by his father's bedside. She knew he was anxious.

Serena had suggested her to wait. Chuck was in a coma state himself because of everything, and probably he needed to have some time alone with his thoughts.

Blair hadn't completely listened. She had sent him a text every other day, and he had never answered to any. The last one had been _How is going today? Take all the time you need... - Blair._ But nothing, he hadn't called her nor replied to the text. She hadn't even written _I miss you_ as she had planned.

"B! You're here early." Serena made her jolt.

"Serena. I'm glad to see you" she hugged her friend, she was still thinking about Chuck.

"I couldn't miss the first day of school" she simply said, and her smile was wider than usual.

Blair rolled her eyes. "Looks like not everybody thinks the same."

"He was at the Lenox Hill yesterday evening. My mother told me."

"Then he's not going to come to school today" she realized with a tone of melancholy.

Her friend shook her head. "He hasn't left the corridor if not to come to your house or change his clothes, my mom says. But they rarely talk. He mostly stands there sitting with his arms crossed on his chest and an incomprehensible expression up on his face."

"He hasn't answered to any of my texts."

The blonde caressed her best friend's arm. "He's too caught up with what happened with Bart. I'm sure that he'll be the same Chuck we know once he wakes up."

….

Blair wished with all of her heart that Serena would be right, but it turned out she wasn't.

She decided to sleep after the hundredth unanswered text she had sent him. She put her phone on the nightstand and checked on her baby. She was already in the dream world, now if only she would be able to do the same, she would be happy.

She fixed herself under the covers and then closed her eyes. Her phone rang, it was a text. She stood up with joy after she heard the noise, and then checked from who it was.

_We knew this story would die sooner than later. The flame burnt, and kept burning until a couple of twins blow it out. Literally. Everybody knows Chuck Bass... it takes a glance to be granted a ticket for his suite. We're very sorry, B! We hoped this would be your best shot, but it looks like C thought you weren't fit to console him through this critical moment of his life. _

Her phone fell on her lap. There was a pic attached under the post. Chuck was hand in hand with two beautiful blonde twins. He seemed to really enjoy it, and this angered her so much she wasn't sure why. They weren't together. They had slept together twice two weeks before, but after the accident, he had been very cold. She felt him further from her and unreachable. But she still cried because of that post.

She was jealous. And not only that. She tried to look in her own heart and understood that she loved Chuck. It wasn't a simple love, it wasn't a crush. No. she loved him so much she could feel herself burning with hurt.

She suddenly felt stupid and masochist. This wasn't going to get anywhere.

….

He had been so drunk and rude when he had agreed to take those twins out. It had been his uncle's suggestion, and he thought it wouldn't harm him to drink a little. But he had been fooled to go out with the girls, and he was sure that damage was done now. Gossip Girl had already posted a picture. He had walked like a dead man to his suite with the blonds in hand. They had tried to undress him but he wasn't in the mood to have sex. In fact, he fell asleep not so long after the girls had taken him upstairs. They had even left a message, they wouldn't want to have anything more to do with him. There was no fun.

Chuck sighed, but at least nothing had happened. He hadn't betrayed her, although he was behaving badly towards her and their daughter. He hadn't wanted to see her for a couple of days, so he had tried to see Audrey when he was sure Blair wouldn't be around.

He wasn't sure what was leading him to act that way. He realized it were probably his confused feelings for her. He knew he felt something for her, but he thought it wasn't the time to start something new now, was it? His father was still soundly asleep and not responding to the therapy the hospital had started to do in the hopes that he would wake up from the trauma.

This worried Chuck so much, and Lily for that matter. He saw her every day at his father's bed, but he didn't have anything to tell her. He thought they had nothing in common.

He had challenged himself to at least get into Bart's room to see his conditions with his very eyes, but he still hadn't succeeded and he felt like a loser. Not only because he was scared of seeing a broken man on a bed, but also in regards of Blair and his child.

He could not wait until this would be over. Anyone could say _well, why don't you go visit them?_ True, he could go seeing them, but he was believing that his father could wake up when he wasn't around, that he would blame him of things and would say he was a selfish bastard. This hadn't much to do with the woman of his dreams and their little daughter, Chuck thought he just didn't want them to witness his weakness.

He had never felt so powerless in his entire life, and he hated that. He hated himself for being so terribly blocked and confused. He needed somebody to talk to, but thought that even Blair couldn't understand. But still, he needed to answer to one of her texts at least. She was caring for him and he was only thinking of himself. He had to make it up to her.

"Chuck?" he was woken up by Serena's voice from afar. Their eyes met and his stepsister grinned. "I really hope that is not what I think."

"You didn't even say hello." He complained, totally detached.

"Are you betraying Blair?" she asked directly. "Because if you are... leave her, Chuck. Don't make her suffer. We both know that the situation is difficult -"

"Why are you interested so much? You don't even know what's going on between us."

Serena rolled her eyes. "I came in peace. Please. I know Blair likes you, and I'm sure you like her too. She's worried for you. And for Bart."

He glared at her. "I appreciate your concern for our relationship."

Chuck thought that his stepsister was being too nosy. What did she know about Blair's feelings anyway? She was making him think again about what he had to do soon. Now that Serena had told him, he would be pushed to do it after he would go out of the hospital.

"If you did, you'd think about her, and think about your daughter. You're neglecting her. I'm telling you, she is being serious with you."

"How do you know that, huh?"

Serena sighed. "Come on, Blair would never go to bed with someone who hooks up with girls in the back of a limo and gets them pregnant. Don't pretend to ignore her, have the guts to face your feelings. Do it for her and your baby."

He was trying so hard to shut her out, but he knew Serena was right. Hell, she was. But he wouldn't update her on what he would do.

"B-baby?"

A question made both Chuck and Serena turn in the opposite direction. Nate had heard everything they'd said to each other.

He stood up from the couch and went to who once were his best friend. They still hadn't made up after last fall when Chuck and Blair had being a couple to let her regain her crown and it hadn't worked. "Nate" he called. This truth would be worse for him.

"What's this story, huh? You didn't just hook up behind my back, you even got her pregnant! That's why she never wanted to do anything with me." He screamed, trying not to raise his voice so much. "You are a bastard!"

The only thing Chuck could feel were Nate's hands all over his coat and tightening around his neck. He had pushed him against a wall and this didn't look promising at all.

"Nate, stop! You're at a hospital!" Serena tried to calm the boys down, but they didn't hear her.

"Maybe you didn't give her the attentions she needed, Nathaniel" he blurted out, making the guy push him further on the marble surface. Oh, for how long he had wanted to tell him that. Because he knew that was true.

"And I had come here because I knew you were having a bad time!"

"Nobody asked you to." Chuck answered, he was trying to keep his head high. He saw Nate being about to spat new hatred towards him, but then all he could hear was Lily's voice from the end of the corridor.

"He's waking up. Come! He's waking up!"

Nate let go of him and he literally run to his stepmother. Serena had gone to him so she could help calm him down, while he had remained with Lily. His stepsister had well thought of leaving them alone because she knew how much this moment could mean for them.

Lily had tears in her eyes. Of course, her current husband had been in a coma for two weeks. She was happy. He didn't know if he were, but he knew that he was a little bothered to get in, so she took his arm and lead him into the room. He had never wanted to visit his father.

He saw Bart under the white sheets of the bed. He had his eyes open and the doctor was checking him. "Mr Bass? Can you hear me?"

"Yes" was Bart's only answer. "Loud and clear."

He stayed there for a couple of minutes, and explained to him what had happened on New Years that he couldn't remember. He realized a little while later when the doctor left the room, that Chuck was next to the door frame. He grinned at him. Wow. Lily touched his arm before leaving them too, closing the door shut behind her.

Chuck frowned. He didn't want to be alone with his father just yet.

"Charles" he called him. "I thought you would never come."

_Neither did I_, he wanted to tell him. But he refrained. "See, you can be wrong."

He smiled. Two grins in a row. He had to worry? "I didn't expect it from you."

"You've never expected anything from me."

"Let's not talk about this now. My head is spinning." Bart pleaded.

He nodded. "I'll see you, then."

Bart didn't answer him. He had been nice to him, yet he didn't bother if his own son walked away from his room shortly after that long period they hadn't seen each other.

At the moment he didn't care. He felt a little lighter now that things had turned out to be like that. His father had woken up. He had taken two weeks but he didn't have to complain, some took longer than that. He didn't know what to think now, he just wanted to let Blair know.

….

Before he would go to Blair's, he decided to Victrola to have a few drinks. He felt the need to toast. Weird, wasn't it? To be happy his father had woken up. He tried to tell himself he just wanted to drink that evening, it didn't matter what else had happened.

He loved his club. Everything seemed to go pretty well when he was there. He had the background music, women, and above all, the booze. "John, another scotch." He asked the bartender with a calm voice. It was his second drink already.

There was a big crowd at the place, and he felt very euphoric although he wasn't drunk. He liked when his club was popular, it meant he was doing something right. But he knew that was just a distraction, that he had decided to go there just to avoid Blair yet. He wanted to see her and the baby but at the same time he felt she would point her finger at him. After all, the picture of him and those two fateful twins, had been all over Gossip Girl. He wouldn't blame her if she would have been angry at him.

He sipped the second glass of scotch slowly, until he was interrupted by someone. He turned and saw his old best friend looking straight at him. He wasn't smiling, he had a stern look and wanted to talk to him.

_More procrastination from Blair_, he thought. But he wanted to hear what his pal wanted to tell him, there hadn't been time to explain while at the hospital. He frowned and shrugged his shoulders when the blond sat down next to him.

"I had all the best purposes of this world to make up with you tonight" he said, as if he were talking about a lover rather than a friend. "But when I heard you and Serena talk about _that_, I couldn't see straight anymore. I felt sort of betrayed."

He nodded. He wasn't completely wrong. First he and Blair had pretended to be together and he hadn't contacted Nate to even mention it, then they had had a baby too, he could understand why his ex friend was mad at him. "Serena shouldn't had talked" he murmured. "She was the only one who knew besides me and her mother."

"Calm down, I'm not going to tell anyone for Blair's sake. She's still a friend I care about" he said coldly, making Chuck snarl at his drink. He hoped he hadn't seen him. "I don't want her to be in trouble because of that. Just... I wished she..."

Chuck turned for the first time in his direction. "I, myself, found about that just a month ago, Archibald. I haven't been the only one _deceived_."

"A month ago? But you are... how did she hide it." He refrained from saying _father_, and he knew it. The truth was too big to sink in Nate's mind yet.

Chuck giggled. "She never takes her out, that is how."

"Wow, I'd never thought" he brought a hand to his forehead, he could tell his friend was still incredulous that his ex best friend and formal ex girlfriend had had a baby together. "You and Blair. Everything. I had it under my eyes for so long, yet I've never seen it."

"Neither did I, believe me."

"That's probably why Blair never wanted to do it with me. She was scared that she'd get in that state again. It must be that." Nate tried to explain to himself more than to him. Chuck just wanted to laugh in his face. He thought the guy was a little naïve to believe that. He knew for sure that Blair hadn't wanted to try with him because she'd heard from Serena that he wasn't that great in bed, at least two years before.

They had two more drinks and talked about random stuff. He still couldn't believe he had made up with his best friend. Or he thought he did. After a couple of more scotch and lighter beverages they'd drunk, he was starting to be a puddle of confusion.

"I still can't believe that _you_ and _Blair_" he elbowed his friend lightly. "My God."

"Me and Blair nothing. We just have _that_ in common, nothing more." He said with indifference, unsure of why he was still able to tell such a big lie to Nate in the state he was in.

"Mmmh. I don't believe you don't feel attraction to her at all, Chuck. Or a little love. You've also been with her for a month, haven't you? That must have meant something. You've never been with a girl for so long."

"Nathaniel, please. Let's not talk about this now. Let's drink and enjoy the night. Cheers."

The blond laughed and then sipped his drink. For now he had escaped to open up, but he was sure it won't be soon before long that would happen again.

….

After the fifth drink, he felt bad. He felt he had drunk a lethal mix and his stomach was twirling. He had already thought he was going to expel all he had had that night, but thankfully for him, he was strong. He could resist.

"Chuck, let's get out of here" Nate said at some point of the evening. He felt him take his arm to lead him outside. He wasn't drunk the same way he were.

"No. Let's get back inside, Archibald. We have to drink more. We need to celebrate our reunion" he said, as he limped his way out of the back door of his club. Nate helped him find his limo and he almost fell against it.

"You're dead-drunk, man. You need to sleep and sober up or tomorrow you'll wake with a hungover bigger than your own hotel."

"Me? Drunk? Nah. True life at Victrola starts now. Let's get back in, please" he begged, trying to move towards the door but finding Nate's arms to stop him. He felt Nate opening the door of his limo and pushing him inside. He went in the vehicle after him, but just to tell the driver to take him to the Palace and to bring him up to his room. But Chuck was unpredictable, in fact he changed destination as soon as he regained a little consciousness.

….

Blair smiled at her phone when she saw a new picture of Chuck and Nate shaking hands at Victrola. She was glad the two had finally made up, it was about time. The blogger thought the duo was drinking a lot to celebrate their reunion, and Blair wished to be there with them although she still couldn't drink because she was breastfeeding.

She sighed thinking about him. He still hadn't given her signs of life, and Serena had told her that she had talked to him that afternoon at the hospital. He had been vague for her, but she thought he felt something for her after all, even if he didn't want to tell his stepsister.

Serena had also told her that Bart Bass had finally woken up. She felt happy for it, and thought that maybe Chuck was also toasting to that. After all, he didn't need to admit to her that he cared about his father, despite he was trying to make her think the opposite. She joyed at the idea that he was probably going to be lighter and more calm and things could go back as they were. She could have forgiven his little betrayal too if he were ready to open up to her.

"Miss Blair! Miss Blair!" she was interrupted.

"Dorota, calm down. The baby is asleep." What the hell could she want at that time of the night? She had to lower her voice.

"Miss Blair! Come down soon! I cannot speak."

Blair sighed. She knew it was probably nothing, Dorota as mostly alarmed for little things. She put her robe on and closed the door shut behind her, following the maid in the foyer.

She saw nothing until she turned. She had been wanting to see him for two weeks, and now there he was. He was smiling at her, and she thought he was alright and ready to tell her about his father when she reached him and smelt him. He was drunk.

She tried to be casual. "Chuck, what are you doing here? You're drunk."

"Am I?" he laughed, trying to get up from the couch but falling back. "I can't recall being drunk."

"But you are. You need to sober up. Come on, I'll help you." She offered, not caring that she would look like a nurse to a man that she wasn't even sure loved her back. "Dorota, bring towels and that special remedy you used for Serena when she got drunk the last time." She ordered her maid, that hadn't left the room. The woman left them alone.

"I'm not!" he screamed, replying late to her statement. "I came her to tell you something."

Blair helped him up, rolling her eyes at his words. He was stubborn. She tried to make him walk, but he was a little dizzy so bringing him upstairs in a vacant guest room had been a very hard task. But she had made it.

She helped him sit down on the bed, took off his jacket and removed his hair from his forehead. Now he smelled less, but he still needed to be cleaned up.

"You need to take a shower. Will you be able to do it alone?" she asked, he had been drunk other times in his life and he had managed to help himself.

He shook his head. "No. I don't need a shower, I need to talk to you" he said and laughed.

What did he have to drink that night? She wondered. "You've celebrated you reunited with Nate, didn't you? That's what you wanted to tell me?" she asked, thinking that he probably wanted to fill her in about what happened.

He shook his head again, he was grinning like a stupid. "Oh, that. Yeah, I'm happy, happy, happy, Nate finally decided to be my friend again. I was feeling so lonely" he admitted, making her sadden a little because she knew it. "And my old man is not dead anymore. He's going to belittle me a little longer. Isn't that fun?" he chuckled crazily.

Blair decided that he was being honest because she knew that those things were true, but he was also a tad much euphoric. "Great, Chuck. But you need to shower still. You stink."

"Do I?" he laughed again. "Must be the scotch. I was trying to forget about my feelings for you" he said loudly, it sounded more like a silly thing that a sort of declaration of love. "You know I love you, right Blair? I love you dearly."

"You are drunk" she tried to tell herself more than him. "You have no idea what you're saying."

"You've told me that already, Waldorf" he hissed, making weird noises. She realized he was still giggling silently.

She had undone his belt and wanted to get him in the shower fully dressed, but when she was about to get him in the bathroom, Chuck grabbed her by the waist and she fell on the top of him on the guest room bed.

"Let me go" she lamented, trying to disentangle from his hug.

She didn't want to face him, she could still smell the alcohol. But she couldn't resist. She glanced at him. He was smirking and he was looking at her. His eyes were defeated, and he looked so drunk and weak under her, that she felt a little guilty for treating him rudely.

He didn't talk for long. They remained there staring at each other until he spoke again, leaving her puzzled over him. "Say you love me too. Serena told me you did."

"What?" she asked. Was he serious? _It must be the scotch_, she decided. "But I -"

"Please say you love me. Because I don't know if you do. Serena always tries to match us up but we always end up having sex rather than saying what we feel. And I don't believe her!" he said loudly, closing his eyes as if they stung, and then covering his face with a hand. "I want to hear it from your own voice, Blair. I want you to say that you love me too." He pleaded, and she could see his eyes a little teary after his confession.

Okay, he was drunk. But didn't they say that drunk people always said the truth? She didn't know what to believe. Yet, she took advantage of the moment to say those words.

She smiled and brushed his cheek. "Of course I love you, Chuck." _Even if you will probably forget about it because you're drunk_, she wanted to add. But in that moment he looked so innocent that she didn't want to alter him in any way.


	16. Like a divorced parent

My. My. My. I realized I hadn't updated this fan fiction thanks to an anonymous question I got on tumblr and I decided to fix this. I have let too many months pass without an update, that is not cool! Above all when I have most of this fan fiction written already! XD I apologize.

The real problem here is that after GG ended, I got into new fandoms (book fandoms more than TV show fandoms) and I have dedicated myself more to those than the one I have written most FF about. But now I want to make up for this and get to work on these unfinished fics with all of my heart because it is uncool to start something and not finish it. I command you to send me messages on tumblr if you want me to finish something! Hehe.

Anyway, this is the update I can post for today. Tomorrow, if I have more time (real life takes me away from my hobbies -.-) I will revise another chapter. I will try to post at least one update per week – hopefully I can make it so this story gets completed!

Thanks to those who faved/followed/reviewed it. Your comments means a lot to me because it's an important feedback for a writer. I hope you can comment this time too so I can know if it's worth or not. Bye! :)

...

The following day, Chuck woke up with a big headache. He slowly opened his eyes, unaware of where he was. No, it wasn't a hotel suite, this much was clear. But where was he? He noticed the soft silk comforter over him and the fine curtains of the window. There was only a place that had that kind of sheets.

He shook his head, he was feeling lost and he couldn't figure out how he had gotten there, at Blair's. He remembered that he had decided to go to her, but the last thing he had done before finally going, had been drinking with Nate. Yeah, he had been at Victrola and he was friends with his best man once again. He feel relieved. But what about now? He growled, trying so hard to remember why exactly he was lying on a guest room bed at Blair's house.

What had happened? Had he told her something? Had he tried to explain the twins mistake of few days before?

His head kept pounding, and he put it back on the soft silk pillow. He hoped he hadn't messed things up. He would hate himself if he had. He smelt himself and snorted at the foul, alcohol, odor he emanated. Damn, how he had even thought of going to the woman he liked smelling like a tank of scotch? He cursed himself internally.

As he tried to get up to go to the guest bathroom and clean himself up, he noticed there was someone next to him.

He opened his mouth, surprised. Blair was lying under the comforter that covered them both, soundly asleep and clutching at his arm. She was so beautiful when she slept. He hated to shake her and wake her up by mistake, and he tried his best to let her go of him and go to the nearest bathroom as quickly as he could.

Too late.

Blair opened her eyes, not astonished one bit of standing close to him. He thought that she had fallen asleep willingly to be there, and he wondered why. Things hadn't been going well between them and honestly, he wouldn't blame her if she would tell him to get the heck out of her house soon.

He noticed that she was wearing a red pajamas and her hair was in disarray. Mmmh, he had definitely crashed at her place very late.

She smiled at him. "Hi" she murmured, her cheeks red. She was blushing.

"What am I doing here?" he asked, he needed to know if he had been a dick or not.

She sighed knowingly and blinked. "You were drunk, Chuck."

"Last night? Ah, oh."

"I was about to get you in the shower but you were too tired to stand and I put you on the bed" Blair explained, her voice low and calm. Maybe he hadn't done anything bad.

He massaged his temples. "Crap, I can't remember anything."

Blair's lips curled in a little smile, but it didn't touch her eyes. He thought that she was about to tell him the bad news now, that he had done some bad damage that he had forgotten about, but her eyes just sagged when she spoke. "You've slept for seven hours straight, at least. This is a good hungover therapy."

He nodded, he knew it fine well. "Yeah, I guess so."

He looked at the ceiling, still aware that Blair was holding her hand on his arm. He wondered if she had realized it or not, but decided to leave this to later.

"While I was here, last night" he continued his sleepy speech, "have I done or said something inappropriate?"

The question was so sheepishly asked from a person like him, it made Blair giggle like a little girl. He soon turned to face her. Her smile was gleeful and beautiful.

She shook her head. "Luckily for me, Bass, you've said nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. You were happy that you and Nate had made up and that your father had woken up from the coma."

He exhaled a sigh of relief. Good. He hadn't said anything bad, then, although he thought he had being too open – he didn't know but he felt like he had spilled something big and deep to her the night before, something he had been keeping in his heart for long. But if Blair wasn't mentioning it, then maybe it was just his hungover kicking in.

He remembered one thing that he had wanted to tell her. Besides the news of Bart's awakening, he had thought about being honest to her and tell her that the affair with those twins hadn't happened at all, that it was just a scene his uncle Jack had put up to distract him while his old man was lying on a hospital bed unconscious.

He decided to act fast, and so he started with the twins thing. "Look, Blair" his words were vague, and he was struggling to look her in the eyes; "that thing on Gossip Girl -"

She stopped him. "There is no need to explain, I got it."

"No, I need to explain."

"Chuck, no. I knew that our little tete-a-tete at Christmas and on New Year's would not go anywhere, I got it."

He opened his mouth, unable to answer properly. So, this was how she was feeling after all. Maybe she didn't love him like Serena was claiming, maybe Blair just thought their few days of blessing during the holidays had been just a failed test to see if they could really be a family for their little child. He felt defeated at the thought.

He decided to continue with his explanation. He knew that she had probably moved on already from their brief story, but he needed to be honest with her. "The twins you saw me with on that picture – my uncle paid them to keep me company. I didn't call anybody and didn't intend to. In fact, nothing happened between me and them."

"There is no need to justify yourself, Chuck." She said, and her voice was a little cracking. She looked unsure of her answer.

He was firm. "I'm not justifying myself, I'm just trying to tell you the truth. I honestly wanted to explain myself to you. I know how you must have felt seeing those pictures of me when they came out."

Blair suddenly sat down on the bed. He thought she was going to leave the room and don't continue their conversation any further, but no. If he had only known how she had felt... she clutched her hands on the comforter, tightening her hold on it. She looked as if he was trying to get some feelings out of her body through the piece of furniture. He raised an eyebrow at her gesture, she was surely anxious.

She looked down at him and spoke with a tense voice. "You do?" She asked, and her question was like a double edged knife.

He was confused besides her. What was that tone? He felt she was deeply hurt but didn't want to admit it. "I'm sorry." He just let out, unable to add more. He wasn't sure if her question was sarcastic or not.

Blair's lip curled in a snort. "That's all you've got to say?"

Chuck helped himself up on his elbow. She wasn't wrong. "Did I say something last night?" he asked, wondering if he had done more mistakes when he arrived to her house.

She seemed disappointed by his question. "Chuck, you really have nothing else to tell me?"

"I thought I apologized to you."

"You didn't apologize enough."

He sighed. "What else is there, Blair?"

"What? You really are clueless, Chuck. You were all lovely-dovey at Christmas, then decide to stop seeing me God knows why, and then act as if nothing has happened between us."

He sighed. "I was shocked" he admitted, looking away.

"This is a better excuse."

"That is not an excuse, Blair. And you know it. You know why I walked away."

She was trembling with anxiety. "Your father?" she asked, and he nodded. "I don't think that is the reason why all of a sudden you pretended like nothing happened between us, as if Audrey is not your daughter and as if you don't really feel anything for _us_."

Feel... for them? What did she mean? "You know I love _our_ daughter."

Blair's eyes tried to sent him a silent plea. "What about me?" Her thought came out unintended – she bit her lip after the words left her mouth.

He froze, but stayed calm. Did he feel for her? Of course he did. "This is not the right moment to ask me this" he tried to brush the topic off, he didn't want to face his feelings right now, on a hungover morning after he had drunk himself to the point of not being able to stand, in the vain attempt to suppress what his heart wanted.

A long silence stretched out between them. He didn't know what to say, didn't want to add more to the conversation. He just wanted to leave and go to the Palace, to sober up.

Blair got off the bed and went to his side. She decided to be brave, although it hurt a little. "This is the right moment to have this conversation, Chuck. After what happened last night, I... you cannot be this rude to me."

"What can I say?" he wondered, as he was trying to understand what had happened the night before. He didn't want to push her to tell him, things were already bad as they were.

"This is the problem. You always have nothing to say."

Why was she being like this? "You really want me to say something right now?"

She didn't answer soon, and that was good. He knew what she wanted him to say, what he had tried not to tell her the night before. He thought that it wasn't the perfect moment to let his feelings out of his heart, however they were.

He thought she was going to ask him to be honest, but when she opened her mouth, she was as vague as before. "Never mind, Chuck" she finally said, then turned and went to the opposite direction, headed to the door. She stopped once she reached the door frame, waiting more time before speaking again. "If you want to see Audrey, take a shower first. I don't want her to smell your drunk scent."

And then she was gone, shutting the door close after her.

Chuck did what she said. He took off his clothes, went to the guest bathroom, and cleaned himself up. He was now smelling nice, although his clothes were crumpled and there were stains on his shirt. At least they didn't smell like alcohol.

For the whole time he washed himself up, he thought about his conversation with Blair. Something had surely happened. She had remained there, next to him. He must have kissed her or tried to do something else for her to end up on the bed where he was. Or else... what could he have said?

He vaguely remembered stumbling out of Victrola with Nate and changing the destination while in his limo, let alone what had happened after.

He hoped he could at least get a glimpse of what he had done or said, because it looked that Blair was depending on what had happened the night before. Could it be that... no, it couldn't be. But he was drunk, to the point of forgetting everything he had done.

After all, what he had wanted to go to Blair's house for besides telling her about Bart, was confessing his feelings. Well, what if he had done so? He would think about it later. Maybe the memories would surface. In any case, he had to find something to make up to her.

….

Chuck left Blair's house not long before lunch. He stayed two hours with Audrey, who was eager to see him after the last time. She looked very happy, and he was proud that at least she still liked him even if he didn't live with her.

He went with this nice thought to the hospital. He wanted to see his father, the only person who could give him a little help in regards of what he had thought he could do to Blair.

Once at Lenox Hill, he saw a thousand of people outside of the hospital wing Bart was. Wow, should he schedule an appointment too, if he wanted to see his father? He passed the crowd easily, avoiding to answer at any question they would ask. He could hear voices when he reached Bart's room. He was with a journalist.

"Yes, it went exactly how I said" he was telling him with a low voice, but still his firm businessman voice. "For more details, you can speak to my assistant."

"Thank you for your time, Mr Bass. This is going to be on the New York Post tomorrow."

"See you next time."

The journalist exited the door as Chuck made his way inside. "Son, have you been here for the whole time? Come in."

"I've just got here."

"Glad that you came again." He said, managing an unusual smile.

He advanced towards the bed, but not too close. "I need your help" he finally declared.

Bart chuckled. "I should had thought you'd come with a second aim, Chuck. We didn't part well the last time you were here. Is money what you need?"

"I didn't visit you for money" he replied acidly. "I need legal help."

"Legal help" he adjusted himself in his seat, he was curious now, but with an expectant expression. "To require my help, you must have done something big."

He shook his head, trying to hide the disappointment his father felt towards him before knowing the matter of his question. "Father, I want to recognize my daughter. Legally."

Bart was now astonished. He sighed, but didn't giggle as he expected him to. "Chuck... son. Are you seriously considering this?"

Wow, something he wasn't expecting. That was a first. "Never been more serious before."

The older man nodded. "That's, uhm, a step ahead... but. You are not the only one involved in here. What about Blair and the baby? What about the press?"

"We don't have to make it public, father. In fact, I don't intend to."

"That can be arranged."

"Good." Chuck said, a smile forming on his face.

He looked into his father's eyes for a while, waiting for him to talk. "You know, this coming from you is very good."

What? Was that his father? The same person who had told him it would be a shame for his daughter to have a father like him? He must have hit his head hard when he had the accident.

"I've never thought this day would come, but it looks as if you really care for that little girl and for Blair" Bart continued. "Ask Lily for my lawyer's number. He will give you the documents you need and he's going to make this very quick and private."

"Thanks, father" he said, unable to hide his excitement and surprise.

Bart blinked, a hint of a smile on his face. "Keep doing things like these, Chuck. There is hope for you if you do. I've never thought I'd see this day" he said, still unable to process what Chuck had just asked him.

Chuck just nodded and turned to leave, but he almost crushed into somebody else. He thought it was a photographer or journalist, but instead, it was someone he knew.

"Chuck, be careful where you go!" his uncle Jack hissed with a playful tone.

"Jack. Long time, no see."

He smirked. "I've been abroad, you know. And I flew back to check that my _dear_ brother was alright. You never know, these days. There may be certain needs at our company while he's K.O." he winked and reached Bart's bed.

"You look good" Chuck said.

Before Jack could answer back, Bart interrupted them. "Weren't you going, Chuck?"

He frowned, but eventually turned on his heels and left the two men alone. Why didn't Bart want him there? He wondered if he and Jack held a grudge against each other and they didn't want him to witness it. He looked annoyed by Bart, and maybe he came to substitute him at Bass Industries while he was at the hospital. Who knew.

….

Two weeks fled by. Chuck met Bart's lawyer twice already, and they were finalizing their proposal to make Audrey a Bass by law. He had been planning to tell Blair once the papers were done, and fate wanted that day was the day before Valentine's Day. He knew that he probably needed to give her more than recognition papers, but he would think about that.

With her, anyway, things were going a little bad. After their run in at her penthouse, she had treated him coldly despite he had tried to show her that he cared. Nothing had been worth, and he looked almost like the divorced parent who didn't have the chance to see their baby after parting ways with the former wife.

It was stunningly annoying, and he wished that Valentine's Day celebrations would put an end to Blair's attitude towards him. That night he had the perfect chance to talk to her, since they were celebrating Bart's return to his and Lily's home. Journalists and parents would be there, it would be a usual party but at least he would have the chance to meet with Blair.

Around dinner time, the party started. He had found his better suit and put on his favorite cologne just to impress her. The looks were important, and he had to make a good impression on her to avoid rejection.

She was alone when she came, of course. No baby.

"Waldorf" he smiled at her.

"Chuck. I thought you hated things like this."

"I do. But tonight I made an exception" he said, radiant as ever.

Blair rolled her eyes. "I wish you hadn't."

He smirked and brushed his hand on her arm. He could feel Blair tense. "What about an apology dinner tomorrow?"

"Are you crazy?"

"No. I am serious. Dine with me. You and -"

"Shh. We are in public!" Blair looked around to check that no one had heard him. "And the answer is still no. You can come whenever you want but not to see me. I am done with you."

"I don't think you are" he said, looking in her eyes with persistence.

Blair rolled her eyes. The proposition itself wasn't bad, but dine with Chuck Bass? He had told her that he loved her and had forgotten about it. He had gotten her pregnant and then dated her for a few days. But then he had fallen miserably after his father had got into an accident. Could she trust him? Or she was set for disappointment?


	17. Hopes & Fears

Hello guys! As promised, I've published chapter 17 after a few days I posted the 16. I just wanted to thank you all for the support. This chapter is a little heavy in the middle but I hope you can still enjoy it. As usual, I love feedback. Hugs xoxo

…

The awaited celebration had finally arrived. Valentine's day morning, Blair kept coming in and out of her closet to find something to wear. She had agreed to meet with Chuck that night, but had specified that it wouldn't be the sort of thing he was expecting – not a romantic dinner with sex afterwards, that is.

She couldn't find much after looking for a few hours with Dorota's help, so she decided to go out in the afternoon and go shopping somewhere. She finally set her eyes on a tight red dress at Bergdorfs, and tried it on. When she was checking herself in the mirror, someone caught her attention.

At first she thought it was Chuck. No! What would he think of her outfit? Was it too much? She expected a snarky comment but instead got a very good compliment.

"Wow, that really suits you, Blair."

"I didn't know you were back in town, Jack."

He smirked. Blair wasn't sure, but that one reminded her of Chuck. Maybe it was something his family used to do very often. "I couldn't leave my _dear_ brother alone while he's still recovering... don't you think?"

She thought Jack's tone was interesting. He was talking like a villain in a movie. She wasn't the type of girl to doubt of people she didn't know well, but she knew deep down Jack was hiding something. "Yes, that's what I would do too."

He looked at her from head to toe. "Since our minds seem to move at the same pace, why don't we take this conversation to dinner?"

She was a little undecided. Dinner with Jack or with his nephew? She knew in her heart she wanted to dine with Chuck. He had told her he loved her few days before. Chances were that he had remembered it and wanted to make it up to her, although that sounded not so Chuck-ish at all. And she didn't want things to get more awkward between them. A children was already enough to bound them forever.

"I have to cancel a few invitations, but I will be there."

"Good. I'll pick you up at nine. Wear that dress."

Jack grinned one last time before he continued his visit inside Bergdorfs. Blair felt her cheeks a little red but she didn't feel so amused. There was something strange about Jack Bass that made her want to crave for more informations.

When she got back home, she texted Chuck. She had wanted to call him, but she realized he would find more excuses not to let her cancel. A text was colder. _Going to dine with someone cooler and gentle than you_ she had wrote, sure that he would go insane. She only hoped he wouldn't get to her house to beg her to come with him.

In the end Chuck didn't come, nor answered her text. And she ordered Dorota to let him see their baby, if he would ever visit later.

At nine sharp, Jack announced himself. He was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, dressed with a pale suit and purple tie. She shook her head when she saw the tie, because it reminded her of Chuck. Weird how so much they seemed to have in common. She decided to shut her thoughts and walked out of her penthouse with Jack and joined him in the town car he had come with.

For all the duration of the ride, she didn't talk much. It was as if she lacked of arguments to talk about with him, as if they had nothing in common. It could also be that Jack Bass was a shy type, one that only opened up after a couple of times you meet him, but that didn't sound right at all. He was a businessman like his brother Bart and like Chuck would be someday. Men who worked as CEO had usually a certain character... you don't make business with silence.

Once they arrived, he went out and opened her door and helped her out. The restaurant he chose looked alright to Blair. She knew it was a five star one and the thing pleased her.

Jack offered her his arm and the two walked inside of the building. She looked around the room: there was the usual Manhattan middle class and some women with their husbands that she knew belonged to high society. Most of them looked bored, as if they were there out of habit and not because it was lovers' day. At some point her eyes set on the far corner.

She couldn't believe her eyes, but Chuck and Nate were sitting at a small table and were sipping white wine. She sighed and tried to take her eyes off the guys, but she couldn't do it and she turned only when Jack informed her that their table was ready.

She walked towards the opposite side of the room, where a lovely spot was arranged for them. Gladly it was too far from Chuck and Nate's table, and she hoped they hadn't seen her. She didn't want her Valentine's to be ruined by him, he could have made a scene.

"What do you want, Blair?" Jack offered while she was waking off her coat. She thought she was being too anxious.

"This one will be fine" she pointed at the menu after she had sat comfortably.

"You really have a good taste."

She looked down. He was flirting with her, this much was sure, but he was too obvious. "For a simple dish of oysters?"

"I was talking about the dress. Red adds to your beauty."

She managed a tiny smile. He was very good at compliments, but she didn't have to forget that was still Chuck's uncle and his reputation wasn't that good. She didn't add more, and Jack started talking with enthusiasm about how he was being in New York after a lot of years and how he planned to live here for a while if Bart let him.

Now she could see his businessman side. He was very charming while he talked, very well instructed, but she also couldn't help but think about Chuck, who was standing not so far from her. Jack was boring her a little, and she thought that maybe going out with him hadn't been a good idea. He was handsome, yes. But she wasn't having fun at all.

She nodded at the things he was telling her but in her mind she was thinking about a plan to escape from there when somebody interrupted her reverie.

"Jack, I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Neither was I. I thought you'd be with those twins I provided last time?"

Chuck glared at him. "No. I thought you would be with them. But I see you've canceled" he turned and frowned at Blair, who was trying to hold his stare without faltering. "And so have you, Waldorf."

Jack stood up and excused himself with Blair. He lead Chuck far from their table to talk privately. "Valentine's Day can't be happy for everybody, Chuck. But there's always a way out. Call the twins, trust me. One for you and one for your friend right there."

He seemed very annoyed and angry. "I'd rather treasure them for you. They might be useful later. Because you know you won't be getting anything with _her_."

He smirked. "Are you so sure, nephew? She isn't yours. But she could be mine. And she will. This is just your big dick ego showing because she didn't want to have dinner with you. I know it, boy. She told me. She doesn't care about you at all."

Chuck clenched his fist. How much he wanted to punch his uncle's face in that moment, but he was refraining. They were still at a public place. "We'll see about that."

"I'll send you a picture later" Jack said, then he made his way back to the table.

He got back to where Blair was sitting. Their orders still hadn't arrived. "Excuse my nephew for his interruption, Blair. He hasn't been taught manners."

"It's okay."

He put his elbows on the table and got closer to her face. "What do you say we leave this place and go somewhere else? He won't bother us."

Blair thought about it for a moment. If they were to leave, there would be no more Chuck and Nate to watch over them. Less worries. And maybe she could try to enjoy Jack's company although he had been very annoying in the last hour. She agreed and Jack went to dismiss their orders while she got her coat on.

Their car was already parked outside, but not where Blair expected. Jack lead her few paces from the restaurant, next to an alley. The car was on one of the sides, and she saw the driver wasn't inside. She didn't think about that detail and got inside of the vehicle when he opened her door and then followed her in.

"Is your driver gonna come? Unless you drive, of course." She asked, after two minutes had passed and they were still there.

Jack didn't answer. Instead, he let another minute passed until his hand set on her leg that was barely covered with nude tights. She didn't do anything at first, since they were trying to get to know each other. But when he let the hand slip under the hem of her dress, she recoiled back.

"What are you doing?"

She hated his evil smile. "Come one, Blair. We both know you also want this" he admitted, using his other hand to try to get her coat off her shoulders.

Blair was firm again. "No. I've never wanted this."

"Then why did you agree to dine with me? You knew how this was going to end. It's Valentine's Day. And I want my gift."

"Then you should call a whore" she replied, her hands trying to get his grip off her and to open the door of the car.

Jack secured the locks, not letting her do so. "You know, you didn't look so retarded at my brother's party. See it as a right and beneficial equation. I saw how you watched Chuck. You want to get him jealous, right? I can help you."

He was now forcing her to get closer so that their faces would touch, but she was being strong enough to avoid that. "I don't want your help" she said, before Jack was more powerful than her and he could finally met her lips so violently like a tornado hits a house.

…

"Chuck, are you alright?" Nate asked him when he was back.

"Not at all." He admitted.

"It's because Blair is with your uncle? You are so whipped, man. Do you think they have something going on?"

He shook his head and grinned. He was anxious. "Come on, Archibald. We both know that is a tale old as time. She's trying to make me jealous."

Nate giggled and he thought he was being laughed at. "What?"

"Where do these ideas come from, huh?"

"Jack is evil" he answered. "I know he is because I'm having someone follow him. I'm sure he wants to ruin my father and I'm going to prove it soon. And he also wants to ruin me. He wants Blair. He admitted it few minutes ago while we talked."

"He's going to these lengths? How disgusting, no offense man."

Chuck shook his head. "I know right. I could see lust in his eyes... and what he would be able to do to Blair if she ever agreed. I am not sure he would let her say no. When Jack wants something, he's gonna get it at any cost. That's what Bart told me when I asked him why he was in Australia and not in New York."

"Ouch. Lucky we came to the same place they are dining at, so we can take a look."

They both turned towards the table where Blair and Jack were, only to notice it was empty and another couple was sitting at their place. Chuck punched the table lightly.

"Dammit!"

"When did they leave? I didn't see them."

"Neither did I, Archibald. Right, I'm calling my person." He said. "Jordan – yes, right. I've just saw it. You had to call me when you did. Good. Thanks." He hung up very soon.

"So?" Nate asked.

"Put the dinner on my count and eat whatever you want. I need to check on Blair."

Nate nodded and patted his shoulder before he walked out of the restaurant to go where his P.I. had told him. Gladly for him, he could walk to the spot. He soon found the car with whom Jack had come with. The windows were pitch black and he couldn't tell if his informer had been wrong or not. Nobody was in the driver seat.

He decided not to be hasty and knocked on the window. No response. He knocked again. He couldn't hear any voice from inside, and he thought he was being led to a wrong road. So he tried to force the door but it was closed.

So he tried with the driver door. Weirdly, that one wasn't locked. He was astonished by the sight he saw inside. Jack was all over Blair and was forcing his face on hers. One of his hands was gripped on her leg and another behind her neck. He was holding her hair so that she could stand still and not move.

He didn't think twice and he punched Jack's cheek. He was too distracted to notice and he fell on his back on the seat, letting go of Blair. Chuck took advantage of his uncle's dizziness to unlock the back doors and go out of his seat to open Blair's door and drag her out of the car. When he did, she fell into his arms and hold him tightly. He could not hear what Jack was saying because he soon closed the door again. They waited there until the police came to take Jack in. He had asked his P.I. to call them and to have them drive there soon.

"My lawyer will answer for me" he stated before he hand Blair tried to leave the place before a crowd would appear. Arthur was quick to drive where they were waiting and they got into Chuck's limo.

He didn't dare to look at Blair's face. She was gripped against him and her face was buried on his chest. She didn't seem like she was crying, she just looked shaken.

"Chuck" she murmured a few minutes later. "Let's go home."

"No" his words were strong and firm. She looked up when he said them and he could tell she just wanted to avoid people. "I mean, we should have you checked at a hospital."

She shook her head. "There's no need. He didn't get what he wanted."

He felt relieved. "So he didn't...? Thank God" he sighed, then kissed her hair. "That bastard."

He just kissed the top of her head and hold her more against him. He asked Arthur to drive to the Waldorfs and texted Nate that he would have to call a taxi to get back home.

When they went there, he noticed a new blast from Gossip Girl. It was about Jack's date with Blair and Chuck's heroic gesture. He hated that now everyone knew the truth, but what could he do. There must have been somebody at the restaurant who saw them. He thought that the most important thing was that nothing had happened to Blair.

Dorota run to them when they exited the elevator.

"Miss Blair, Mister Chuck. I read on phone -"

"She's fine, Dorota. Don't worry."

"I am good. He didn't do anything" Blair offered her maid with a fake smile. She was alright but inside she was devastated. "I just want to sleep."

Chuck nodded and Dorota let them go.

Upstairs, Audrey was sleeping in her crib. Blair left Chuck's arm to caress her child's cheek. He could see her smiling, until tears filled her eyes. "How did you know I was there?" she asked, her voice was broken. The realization of what had happened was setting in.

"I've had someone follow Jack for a month. I suspected he was preparing something. But I never thought he would target you."

"He was so convincing... I should had gone out with you."

He walked slowly to her. She was still turned towards the crib. He didn't touch her, he just whispered her some words. "It doesn't matter now."

"At least now we are together" she replied, her voice needy.

She turned to him. He didn't know what to add anymore. He thought being there for her was already big. All that she needed was comfort and he would spend a sleepless night to make her feel fine again. Blair put her head on his chest and he helped her up so he could take her to bed. He put the comforter over them once she had found a good position to lie down.

"This night was a disaster" Chuck said, breaking the silence again. "But I still have something for you. This was meant to be your Valentine's gift."

Blair raised her head from his chest. She frowned, a little confused. "You have a gift?"

He nodded. "I do. I don't know whether or not it will make you happy. But here it is." He put his hand in his jacket and found a thick envelope. It was large and red. He passed it to Blair who eagerly tore the opening apart to see what it was.

Her face after she read the papers inside, was priceless. "Are you kidding, right?"

"What? I thought this would have made you happy" he said, a little disappointed.

"This makes me more than happy. But what I meant was – are _you_ sure?"

"Never been surer."

Blair grinned. Despite the night terribly went downhill, those documents made her happier. Chuck wanted to legally recognize Audrey as his daughter. Chuck wanted to definitely be part of their daughter's life in the future. Chuck had saved her that night. She couldn't help it, but love Chuck more. If they would only confess their feelings...


End file.
